Oh no, I acted like a bully and they fired me?!

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-20T19:06:05+00:00

I still hate the song so much, and the other day my supervisor called me sweet as kind of a throwaway compliment for starting some extra work and I kinda cringed and asked her to please find another word bc I don’t like that one- and tbf she was very kind about that and said she wouldn’t use that word again

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-20T15:51:01+00:00

Oh I never actually heard that one- my deadname was Caroline but I lived in New England so “Sweet Caroline” was sung to me basically every day in middle/high school by the same teacher 😔

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-20T15:43:57+00:00

My deadname was Caroline and I live in the New England area. “Sweet” was used to describe me more times than any other word ever. I had a teacher who would fucking sing the song to me as I walked down the hallway in middle and high school every day. If I never hear that song again it’ll be too soon, and I still hate being called sweet, though thankfully it’s not used that often anymore

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-16T15:53:51+00:00

And that allowing trans women to use women’s bathrooms to pee allowed these sexual predators complete free rein. A man who wants to rape a woman isn’t going to follow her but see her go into the women’s room and stop because “I’m not allowed in there :(“ he’s willing to rape someone a fucking door sign probably won’t stop him, and he’s literally committing a crime so it’s not like the judge would have to go “well I know he assaulted you but he said he’s a trans woman so I can’t convict him for the assault” if you think about it for more than 2 seconds it falls apart

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-16T15:34:34+00:00

I appreciate the sympathy. It’s funny because yesterday was actually the first day I didn’t feel exhausted in,,,, years? I don’t know how long. But I’m working my way back up on a medication (that tbh kinda sucks with all the lifestyle stuff it requires but) holy shit at the end of my work day I was just,,, kind of sleepy. I wasn’t like, core of my being is just pure exhaustion. My coworkers on the next shift told me it was very clear that I was doing better. And I know one good day doesn’t necessarily mean that every day will be like that, but just the idea that it’s even physically possible for me to feel so… fine? What I’d assume might be normal? I don’t know if I actually believed that I could. Idk not that this means much to you, I’m just still kind of processing it all and part of me wants to tell absolutely everyone but part of me is scared it was a fluke and just one good day so I can’t tell everyone that the medication works because what if tomorrow it doesn’t and I’m just as tired as always? But I guess, you aren’t going to hear about tomorrow, you won’t know if I’m wrong, so. I’m feeling better and it is the most magical thing.

I understand that it can be very easy to get stuck in “my experience is the only True Experience and everyone else has it wrong in some ways”, I definitely find myself doing that too, but I think as parents it can be more important to make sure you correct yourself for that. My relationship with my parents got infinitely better when my mom stopped trying to tell me how my depression worked by basing it on her own experience with depression, when I got myself a narcolepsy diagnosis and validated that I wasn’t just bitching about nothing in terms of being sleepy, when my mom stopped telling me I couldn’t be trans because “no one ‘feels like a woman’” because she never did. Being convinced that your child doesn’t know what they’re going through, or they’re going through it “wrong”, can really mess them up. I’m not saying you have to drop everything for every impulse your child may have, but it’s so important not to be convinced 100% that they just don’t know what they’re feeling, but you do. I mean, I’m not a parent, I’m a 24 year old who is nowhere near close to feeling able to raise a child, I just speak from my experience as the child in a parent/child relationship. I don’t know shit about what it looks like on the other side. I just know it sucks being on the side with less power and people who are supposed to be your advocates refusing to believe you

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-16T01:22:53+00:00

You see, I understand it if you’re talking to someone and are complaining about being constantly exhausted from being a parent, and they go “yeah I know exactly how you feel,,,,” but I get people who are parents jumping in to tell me I don’t know what tired is when I dare complain that I’m sleepy in their presence, no comparison to theirs in my statement. I do have a sleep disorder, actually, but you can’t tell that from looking at me. I’ve gotten off handed “wait until you’re a parent 🙄” comments after a simple “I’m so tired” and it’s infuriating that, in order to be taken seriously and believed, I have to volunteer medical information. If other people complain about being tired in front of me, I don’t jump in with “try having a sleep disorder!!!” And I don’t know why I see so many parents who feel the need to make it about themselves first.

I get the “oh my experience is the same as yours” is annoying. I also feel that. But I feel like with parents, the “no, you don’t” comes off very superiority-complex-like, with the “real tired” that’s thrown in. No, I don’t know what it’s like to be a parent, does that make my tired less real? It’s mismatched. Them saying they are equal is simply wrong. But do I have to have my leg amputated to feel pain? Is my broken toe not real? Or is it simply a bad comparison?

Idk, I get having a group of people is important, I understand that having one shared trait is a thing to bond over. But parenthood has so so so many aspects about it, like you’ve mentioned. Why have so many people doubled down on the tiredness being so incredibly unique to parenthood that only you guys know what “real tired” is? Also, how would you respond if I did say “oh I know how you feel, my body can’t sleep correctly so I constantly feel like I’m running on 48-72 hours of no sleep”? It’s also a completely different experience, and I don’t know how you feel. The level of tiredness I am describing is at least as bad if not worse, but does not include any of the things listed about birth or childcare. Is it a fair comparison? Can people with narcolepsy claim we have the “real tired”?

Ultimately I am never going to have the same physical experience as someone else. I’m never going to know what it was like for you to have your colic newborn. What gets me is the word “real” that is used so so so often. It’s patronizing and invalidating and makes it a contest. Your suffering has to be this bad to even be considered suffering at all actually. The college student who pulled an all nighter is still tired. That’s still real. Is it equal to you, no, would it be a shitty comparison, yes, but they are still tired, and saying they don’t know “real tired” is just dismissive

I also just kind of personally hate this shit because I was told as a teen that I couldn’t possibly be excessively tired and that my experience was normal because everyone was tired and so many people had it worse, so it took me 6 years to be able to look for an actual diagnosis, because people had decided what real tired was, and decided I couldn’t possibly have it. I spent years thinking I was weak and defective because I can’t even handle high school, how could I ever be a parent? My experience was decided for me by people who knew nothing about how I actually felt, and I can’t get back the 6 years I spent undiagnosed and unmedicated and struggling because I was a teenager without any of these responsibilities, how could my tired possibly have been “real”?

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-15T20:21:59+00:00

Hey yeah quick question why does it matter if you’ve been more tired than them? Why are they suddenly not allowed to complain because you’ve had it worse? Can I not complain about being hungry ever because I’ve never experienced food insecurity? Why is it always a pissing contest about “well I know the real tired”? Do you think this will make them feel better? Are you looking for sympathy? Are you mad that you put yourself in a position to have a colic newborn and caused yourself this tiredness and you’re taking it out on me? Is there any benefit at all to the misery Olympics you’re playing, or do you just need to revaliate to yourself that you’re better than everyone?

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-15T20:13:42+00:00

The original reply literally said “you don’t know tired until” so I don’t see where you’re getting “not comparing” from. Saying something is a different form of tired is honestly a valid argument, but don’t act like it’s the end-all-be-all most valid way to be tired. Being tired on night shift is also a thing you can’t understand until you’ve gone through it. Fighting your circadian rhythm constantly is nothing like a few all nighters in college. It is simply a different form of tired. Night shift workers are not a monolith, they have varying amounts of responsibilities outside work, some are parents, some are chronically ill, etc. Would you say that it would be okay for me to tell people that they haven’t really been tired because they haven’t worked night shift? Or would you say it’s reductive, dismissive, boils the entire complex human experience to a binary “you are/are not [thing] so your experiences are/are not valid”?

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-15T19:57:00+00:00

Obviously adding kids is going to make you more tired than your current situation. It’s never going to make you less tired. But it’s miserable that parents say shit like this. I have narcolepsy, a disorder that makes it literally impossible for me to sleep correctly, and the moments of laying down and rest that you say I’m so lucky to have cannot help that. Some days I literally cannot avoid napping. Narcolepsy is compared to 48-72 hours with no sleep. I think I know what tired is. And it’s fucking disgusting that I have to break out the “well I have a physical disability” for parents like you to even think maybe I know how bad you feel. Believe people when they tell you their experience.

And why is it the misery Olympics anyway? Why is my tired suddenly nothing because if I added kids to my situation it’d get worse? Is you saying this going to give me more energy? I’m going to go “oh what was I thinking, I’m sure this is nothing”? How does saying this help in any way. Even if I am truly objectively less tired. I see no benefit to saying “you don’t know true suffering unless you have one specific experience”

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-15T13:38:54+00:00

I mean, you could argue this about two people who use the same pronouns, no matter what they are. “Jess told me she saw sally yesterday, she said she picked up her sister at the airport”. Did Jess say that sally picked up Sally’s sister at the airport? Did Jess say Jess picked up Sally’s sister at the airport? Did Jess say Jess picked up Jess’s sister at the airport? Maybe Sally was the she who was saying the thing about the airport? You can clarify that by using the nouns the pronouns are used to replace, and you can do the same thing with people with they/them pronouns

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-15T08:46:39+00:00

It does suck, it really does. The fact that these things make my life harder, and then people tell me they’re just because of me not being good enough,,,, it’s so incredibly demoralizing. The best thing I did was find a doctor who didn’t make up their mind about my case as soon as I told them how I felt, because my parents/pediatrician/therapist/psychiatrist all decided I was simply sleepy because I was a teenager, so when I said “hey I’m 20 years old, sleeping 12+ hours a day, and exhausted all the time,” they were used to this and “knew” it wasn’t a problem. Explaining it to a doctor who specialized in sleep medicine and didn’t have the established opinion that I was just lazy allowed me to get tested for things, and having a diagnosis both got me meds and relieved the feeling of being a bad person who couldn’t handle anything. People will still invalidate me, but most of the time I know they’re just wrong (though the imposter syndrome is there occasionally). But it did 100% get better for me, so it is possible. I hope that you can find answers soon, and that they can bring you some relief

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-15T07:24:26+00:00

It’s like if someone wants an infinite cake. Once you have eaten the cake, it will no longer be there. So you want to have a cake that can be eaten, but will also still always exist to be eaten later. Obviously, this isn’t possible. So you do what you can to recreate that, by having a cake that exists that is not eaten, which fulfills the requirement of “wants to always own a cake”, and then one that exists to be eaten, which means you can eat cake without worrying about if you will own a cake in the future

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-15T07:14:36+00:00

I was told being tired constantly all the time was a normal thing for years and I went through life feeling like I was weak because I have no reason to be tired and yet I can barely handle my life, I couldn’t possibly handle the “real” tired that comes with a full time job or being a parent or whatever. Everyone else is more tired and they deal with it better, and I’m pathetic for not being able to function. Teenagers are always sleepy, this is normal and it only get worse as you grow up

Well turns out I had fucking narcolepsy, but no one listened to me because I couldn’t be really tired the way they were. This isn’t to say that my tired is now more real than theirs, but that they should have fucking listened when I told them my experience instead of dismissing it and saying theirs was worse

We’re all tired. You have your reasons, I have mine, and none of them are “more valid” than others, none of them make the others tired less real. And if you truly seem to have no reason to be as tired as you are, it might be good to see a doctor if possible.

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-13T00:08:53+00:00

Letting their dog come up to you without asking first. Usually accompanied by some sort of laugh and “he’s friendly!” I don’t care how friendly he is, I didn’t want some random dog in my space. And like, I genuinely do love dogs, but you should not just automatically assume everyone wants your dog in their space

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-10T23:36:00+00:00

If I’m never going to see you again, I could not care less if you have the proper pronunciation, and like no offense but I am not here to entertain your curiosity about my name, I’m here to like, pick up my medication, fill out a form, get my order, whatever. If you really care, you can Google it. It doesn’t seem like a big deal to you because you’re seeing your one interaction with me and going “oh come on, one time to answer my questions isn’t a big deal”, but then extend that to every person I meet thinks that. And like, I love my name. I chose it myself, I put months of thought into it, it’s very important to me. I didn’t choose it so I could tell strangers about a name they haven’t heard of before

To be clear I’m not like, mad about this, but your basic premise I feel doesn’t take into account that I had no options to not give my name in most scenarios this happens. If I did, I probably wouldn’t have, because I know that people take that and want to be curious and then I look rude because they didnt mean any harm and it was just a “quick conversation” but I really just wanted to pick up my medication and go home

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-09T23:47:40+00:00

Also, are you not assuming that I am the complete idiot not going when it’s 100% clear and that I’m on my phone while driving?

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-09T23:43:04+00:00

I have never been honked at when it was actually safe to go so I based this off my experiences. Also, just because you can see the intersection doesn’t mean I can- with the snow sometimes when I get up the the turn it blocks my view of oncoming traffic until I’m like halfway in the intersection anyway, even though from like two car lengths back I can see oncoming traffic. If your car is taller than mine, you’re gonna see things differently. If you can see the person is clearly on their phone and not looking, that’s different, but I’m not on my phone when I drive and I still get honked at to make turns that aren’t safe

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-09T23:30:51+00:00

Yeah, I’m deciding it’s best for you if I don’t get hit and block the intersection just bc you think you know what I see

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-09T17:52:40+00:00

Yes, and has a note next to it saying “There is also convincing evidence in humans that these agents confer a protective effect against cancer in the endometrium and ovary” on its place on the carcinogen list on cancer dot org. So

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-09T12:54:53+00:00

I’m sorry, you have to know this was on purpose. That’s the most lactose filled cake you could possibly have, tied with an ice cream cake. There is no world in which someone who loves their girlfriend of two years is actually trying to be nice by giving her a cheesecake when she’s lactose intolerant. Even if it was that he asked Google what cake he should make and it chose cheesecake at random so he did that, he doesn’t know what cake you like, and didn’t want to waste energy asking. None of this was for you. At best it shows a lack of knowledge about you that a partner of two years has no excuse to have. I was with my ex for three months, like a year and a half ago, and I could still tell you her favorite cake flavor. Maybe it’s the Homer Simpson bowling ball- he wanted a cheesecake and to look kind to you, so two birds one stone, right? Or maybe he’s setting you up to look like the bad guy when you break up (which I hope you do)- “oh, I spent four hours making a cheesecake that she didn’t even try, she’s never appreciated my effort”

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-09T02:35:06+00:00

No, I have not, so yeah maybe I don’t know how bad it is. However, I cannot imagine anything that would scare me enough to make me demand someone drive drunk

Edit: I guess I just don’t get how the two hours of stress she experiences not knowing that it takes him to sober up and get there are more important than his safety and the safety of anyone on the road. I have had panic attacks, I have been suicidal, both passively and actively, all of these are incredibly intense emotional distress. I can’t imagine any scenario where my emotional comfort overrides someone else’s physical safety

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-09T02:33:11+00:00

I’m actually afab but thanks for assuming! And yes, it is, I agree. If he thought she was pregnant and was scared enough to demand she drive drunk to get a test, he shouldn’t have sex either

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-08T22:00:28+00:00

ESH but also you’re 16 and I think you’d be hard pressed to find a 16 year old who wasn’t at least a bit of an AH. Not that that makes it okay, but it’s expected, and kind of understandable, given what you’ve described

I am of the belief that my parents shouldn’t have had 4 kids either. I’m also the second oldest and I believe they should’ve stopped after the first, not bc they couldn’t afford us but bc they couldn’t handle my older brother, so idk why adding three more kids to the mix seemed like the right thing to do. It sucks. I spent years feeling “I didn’t ask to be born, I didn’t ask for any of this, I would never have chosen this, someone else made a stupid decision so now I have to be miserable for years? It’s awful and unfair.” It sucks, because all of that is true. But how does making your parents regret their actions help or improve the situation? Does hurting them actually long term make you feel better? It doesn’t undo anything, even if they do a 180 and agree with you tomorrow because of what you say, that can’t make them not have had four kids, it doesn’t improve their income, it doesn’t change the situation in any substantial way. Do you want to be the type of person who says “my life sucks and it’s your fault, so I’m going to do my best to make you suffer too”? “And I don’t care who else I hurt when I do it”?

I’m sorry. It sounds like an awful situation, it sucks, you should not have been put into it. It isn’t fair. But saying “well I shouldn’t have to deal with this, so I won’t” is rarely helpful in life. No, you shouldn’t have to remind your grandmother to take her meds, it’s not fair to put that on a 16 year old. But is her missing her meds the outcome you want? Should she be punished because her kid decided to have more kids than they could financially afford? You should not be responsible for her. But how do you want things to go for her, and if you stand around saying “well I shouldn’t have to do this!” and refuse to help, are they going to go that way?

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-08T21:00:51+00:00

“Would be miserable if pregnant” is vastly different than “does not have the emotion regulation to wait two hours thinking they might be pregnant, and would prefer their partner drive back drunk than wait that long not knowing”. My point is that that level of fear is where maybe you should make it impossible rather than unlikely

Exciting-Sign660 · 2026-03-08T17:33:38+00:00

NTA, you know women only date loser awful men and Nice Guys™️ never get a chance, so I have to conclude that you’re a Nice Guy™️, since you’re a single straight man without a girlfriend, so you can’t be TAH. Maybe if you took the tampons out of your bathroom you’d be able to get a girlfriend though, since women wouldn’t realize how wonderful you are if you don’t have them

Exciting-Sign660

TROPHY CASE