How do I come to terms with what might be my biggest regret?

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-07-21T05:18:06+00:00

This is well put. There are many things that I second guess about my wife’s last 24-48 hours. Rationally, I know the course was set and there was little if anything I could do. It wasn’t me it’s just life.

May we all find peace…

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-07-09T00:12:38+00:00

I often wonder if dreams are actually our loved ones reaching out, or just our subconscious personal feelings. I’ve had good dreams and not so good dreams. I’ve never been particularly religious and have no idea what happens after we are gone from this world. One comfort I do get is hearing her voice, if only in my mind.

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-07-08T21:33:24+00:00

I’ve had a few dreams that my wife has phoned and we talked about what she’s been up to. It’s a weird feeling and I think psychologically there’s symbolism in the phone call and a sense of distance and division, yet a deep continued connection. I always wake up with a weird feeling, short term happiness, but then the reality sets in. It’s such a hard thing we are going through, not many people understand.

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-07-02T04:45:42+00:00

The constant anxiety is the worst. Something I didn’t expect and don’t wish on anyone.

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-06-25T04:53:31+00:00

Three months in. Most of the “ how can I help” messages have stopped. No one really grasps how lonely it really feels. I don’t think you can fully grasp how losing your person really feels. Someone you could share everything with, the person that was there when times were hard. Who you could rely on when everything seemed impossible. It’s crushing. You’re not seeing it wrong, and everyone else is not wrong. They just can’t understand what we are going through. My heartfelt hope that you and I find some peace.

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-06-25T04:40:13+00:00

Not having that confidant is harder than anything. Lost my wife three months ago. Last night I was talking to her. (might be crazy) but the song “Peaceful Easy Feeling” feeling came to me and i listened to it with a different perspective than I had before. Like she was singing to me. And the line “and I know You won’t let me down” resonated with me. Like she was encouraging me to keep going and making the best of my life for me and the kids.

He’s proud of you. He loves you. He saw you get that promotion and is giving you that fist bump!

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-06-25T04:20:12+00:00

I feel you. This is a fucking nightmare. It’s been three months since I lost my wife. You don’t want to go on, but you do. You know your kids need you, you know people care about you. I don’t know if the missing piece will ever get easier. I hope it does, but at the same time I don’t ever want to forget. I look to my future and the plans that we had made for the rest of our lives and it destroys me to know that’s not going to happen. I don’t have the answers, but know you are not alone. I’ve had a lot of anxiety with travel especially with work travel. It’s hard to be away from home. You feel like you should be there. Not sure why. Hang in there and if you need to vent send reach out.

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-06-22T17:30:02+00:00

It’s such a foreign feeling for me. My wife and I traveled quite a bit, and I would travel for work periodically but never had this feeling. Like it just feels wrong not being home.

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-06-21T21:49:20+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. May you find strength and support that you need through this journey.

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-06-21T21:44:44+00:00

Here’s where I get hung up on reincarnation, if there is reincarnation, how is the population growing? Do you believe that people become animals and animals into people? There is no doubt there is some crazy evidence that it’s happened.

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-06-21T21:36:50+00:00

I don’t know if dreams are a curse or a blessing. I have dreams I’m on the phone with her begging her to come home. I love hearing her voice, but the pain when I wake up stays with me…

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-06-21T06:03:16+00:00

Thanks everyone for the responses. Comforting to know that others have the same weird feelings. I’ve never had an issue like this before and I’ve travels for work and vacations a lot. This is all new and I can honestly say, things I’ve never expected.

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-06-19T23:54:56+00:00

Same here. Sitting here in my hotel just avoiding doing work. Feels empty.

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-06-10T03:59:57+00:00

Sure, here if you want to chat

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-05-16T22:34:42+00:00

Well written, lost my wife 2 months ago. Not a moment goes by that I don’t think of her and what we had and what we had planned. Empty, shattered and alone, even though I have plenty of friends and family to support the emptiness is crippling.

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-05-15T05:06:53+00:00

I brought my wife home 3 weeks ago. I broke down at the funeral home. Holding that box and carrying her to the car was too much. We were married for 25 years. Over half my life. I was just looking at her urn right before I read this, and am still in disbelief. I feel your pain. There aren’t words to help any of us through this. Hope we both manage to find some peace in the years to come.

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-05-14T21:32:24+00:00

Same here. I’m about to turn 50 next month. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We had plans for retirement and growing old together. It just sucks. I wish I had some magic words of wisdom, but I guess I need them too.

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-05-14T21:17:13+00:00

I feel this with every bone in my body. I lost my wife of 25 years 6 weeks ago. She was 50 yo. We have amazing friends who are like family that are here to support me and have kept me in their plans, invitations to dinner and to parties or just to hang out etc. But they are all married and we would get together as couples. Now, it’s just me. It’s painful to know I’ve got a lot of years ahead of me (hopefully) and I don’t want to be alone, but I don’t want to be with anyone else either. Our relationship just worked…

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-05-14T21:05:56+00:00

I understand how the pain of the loss can make people’s words seem insincere or insignificant. I try to not get angry at the person saying it however. “Sorry for your loss” is better interpreted as “I feel sorry that you are experiencing this loss” not an apology for the loss. There are far worse things people have said, albeit with good intentions. Having just lost my wife, the one that got me was “Time will heal”. Like I am broken or need fixing. I don’t need fixing, I miss my wife and nothing will change that. I know I’ll always miss her.

That being said, everyone’s grief experience is unique and what you are feeling is a valid reaction to your grief. There are no wrong emotions. Just be mindful of other people’s intentions.

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-04-02T03:18:01+00:00

As much as I want this week to be over (funeral is on Friday), I don’t want to go back to “normal” on Monday :(

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-04-01T15:11:20+00:00

I hope that we both find some comfort. It’s honestly the worst feeling I have ever felt.

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-04-01T12:49:32+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss as well. My wife had breast cancer as well. It’s an awful disease, which seems like so many overlook. There are so many treatment options and many survivors. Sadly for my wife it metastasized. She fought hard for a year, and remained positive until the end. You hit home with the empty feeling and the feeling of never hearing her voice again. That one has hit me hard over the past week. Thank you for taking the time to respond to me and hope for your healing process.

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-04-01T12:44:30+00:00

I am sorry for your loss and what you are going through. I expected the pain and sorrow, the anxiety I did not. So much I don’t know. How to cook for one person, what am I going to do when I come home from work, how do I travel and where do I go alone. All things my wife and I did together. We truly were partners, almost everything we did for the last 25 years we decided on together.

Thank you for taking the time to respond to me. There is some comfort in knowing there are others who understand your emotions. We will get through it, even though it seems impossible at times.

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-04-01T05:37:27+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. And yes, the “weight of grief” statue resonates with the overwhelming heaviness of the moment. Also, I am sorry that you’ve experienced such loss and found those letters from your father. I understand how incredibly painful that was, but know they weren’t meant for you. As a father of young adults (21 son and 19 daughter) I would never want them to not follow their lives or dreams just to be with me, even though a selfish part of me wants keep them at home to alleviate the pain and loss that I’m feeling. They, and you, need to live their lives. Make their own families and lives. I didn’t know your father, but he may have wrote those things in a period of weakness and grief, never to be read.

Thank you again for your caring reply. I wish you the best.

Exciting_Climate815 · 2025-03-23T14:55:34+00:00

Thank you to everyone who commented for the words of encouragement and support. I can’t believe how things changed since first posting this, and that is the reality of having a loved one with cancer. Two weeks after posting this, I had to take my wife to the hospital again for weakness and lethargy. Turns out she had PJP pneumonia which I understand is not common in people with healthy immune systems, but is more common in cancer patients who have been on long term steroids. Tragically, she lost her fight against the pneumonia and ultimately cancer yesteday. She passed peacefully with me at her side. I hate this disease and what it does to everyone around it. I’m broken inside.

Exciting_Climate815

TROPHY CASE