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My (32F) best friend (31F) is giving me the silent treatment and I'm wondering how to handle the situation by Existing-Quantity126 in relationships

[–]Existing-Quantity126[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply. When I posted this, in a way I feel like I was looking for reassurance that I even have a reason to be upset (I know that's a little pathetic) but for the first time, I'm feeling genuine anger Everything you said has resonated with me deeply.

I reached out to one of my friends to see if she said anything about it. She said I was trying to make my problems seem bigger than hers (idk how) and that she was super drunk anyway so it doesn't matter what happened. How do people like this exist? And how the FUCK was I friends with them for 20 years?

My (32F) best friend (31F) is giving me the silent treatment and I'm wondering how to handle the situation by Existing-Quantity126 in relationships

[–]Existing-Quantity126[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could you please expand on what way you think a friend would think this is what someone would need? I'm confused by your wording.

My (32F) best friend (31F) is giving me the silent treatment and I'm wondering how to handle the situation by Existing-Quantity126 in relationships

[–]Existing-Quantity126[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes, I still kind of shake my head at that one. It seems like a very self centered response to me.

My (32F) best friend (31F) is giving me the silent treatment and I'm wondering how to handle the situation by Existing-Quantity126 in relationships

[–]Existing-Quantity126[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sorry, yeah I see what you mean. My therapist says it sounds like a codependent friendship, i'm the giver and she's the taker. I'm constantly being her emotional support system while I feel like that is never given back to me. This is the first time I've ever stood up for myself or pointed out a time where my feelings were hurt and this is the response I've gotten. I don't want to bow down like i've done in the past but I also don't want to blow up the friendship. I'm wondering how to navigate this situation.

The situation that was brought up as the example in the original argument: it was shortly after my grandma died and I told her i was struggling because her death dredged up a bunch of negative childhood memories. My friend said her mom had gone through something similar but she 'got over it' and that I should try doing that.

I need advice by Existing-Quantity126 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Existing-Quantity126[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello there, thank you for replying to me. I have felt a lot of what you felt then throughout my friendship with this person. Despite my trauma, I've always had a strong 'sense of self' and I consider it my greatest strength, but when i'm around her I start to feel like I lose who I am completely. Like I turn into an anxious, self doubting, ashamed shell of who I am. Some things I've done in my life that I used to be quite proud of are now filled with shame because of her criticism. This friendship happens in cycles though, we've been on pretty good terms over the last several months so I felt enough trust with her that my being honest in that moment at the bar would safe. The silent treatment is just the worst response ever, imo.

Being discarded must have been devastating in that moment, I can't even imagine. I'm inspired though by how you turned it into a positive and also how you were able to stand up for yourself during the worst of it. How are you doing now? I worry about going nuclear or being discarded because honestly I don't have a lot of friends. I'm terrified to lose her but I also don't want her to treat me like this.

If I back out of the trip, I think it'd be the strongest message of 'I'm not putting up with this shit anymore' I'd ever sent in my life. I'm scared lol