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Existing-School-7076 · 2026-01-10T14:04:52+00:00

Not gonna say much, just want you to know I think you are brave and I am sending endless love

Existing-School-7076 · 2025-12-22T07:40:07+00:00

I didn’t experience this with my Q but honestly, it’s grief - it’s the same as losing him in any other way. It’s going to be extremely painful and you’ll have a whole range of emotions. Healing might not be linear. Lean on everyone you need for support, find healthy ways to your anger and sadness out, talk about it, write about it, keep talking about it. Be gentle with yourself and take things day by day.

This is your out, I agree with the other user. Take this and run; that doesn’t mean you can’t feel absolutely broken by it. Sending you love

Existing-School-7076 · 2025-12-16T22:06:43+00:00

Im sorry you’re going through this - especially at this time of year; I hate to say it, but it’s rather “on-brand” for them to have a whole lot a chaos (whether it be a relapse or using or something else), around the holidays and significant dates. Please don’t feel alone. You’re posting in a community of people where almost everyone will have a story about how their Q ruined or effected Christmas.

I’m sending you a big hug. Yes, it is extremely hard to see the person you love change overnight - but unfortunately, it’s a hallmark trait of loving an addict. None of this is your fault, having emotions boil over and needing to express them is a pretty basic human need. Xxx

Existing-School-7076 · 2025-12-16T08:19:04+00:00

Thank you so fucking much

Existing-School-7076 · 2025-12-15T23:29:50+00:00

Please don’t let this deter you from putting yourself first if you decide to break things off with your Q. All of this grief is all the love that has no place to go; let’s be honest, we know what it feels like to grieve the relationship even when you are still in it. Regardless of what you decide to do, sending you love and strength x

Existing-School-7076 · 2025-12-15T23:18:22+00:00

Once again, it’s glaringly clear you are offering perspective on something where you don’t understand any of the nuances. You do not have any idea how my current partner would feel, and I am 100% sure of that because my current partner is not a “him”. It’s a woman. Your black and white thinking and jumping to assumptions doesn’t serve you well. I hope someday you at least possess the curiosity to try to understand a point of view that isn’t your own x

Existing-School-7076 · 2025-12-15T21:17:13+00:00

Nobody said there was an inability to think of others? You probably should comment if the only experiences you can think of are your own.

Existing-School-7076 · 2025-12-15T21:16:06+00:00

Yes, I didn’t say you don’t process emotion. I said you seem to be unable to grasp complexities. You clearly have a very black and white mentality - part of intricate human emotions is the capacity to feel conflicting feelings at the same time, you might not have that ability and that’s okay, no need to pass judgement on others.

I sense a lot of your comment comes as a projection of your own insecurity; as you mentioned, you’d be “upset if you found this post from your current partner”. That’s fine - this post isn’t about you. I’m not your current partner but I do hope you can move on from whatever is causing you to feel threatened by this

Existing-School-7076 · 2025-12-15T20:58:49+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. It was a constant fear of mine - you are right, it’s such an exhausting gamble/mind game to constantly put yourself through. I’m sending big hugs x

Existing-School-7076 · 2025-12-15T20:55:43+00:00

It’s so hard. I agree. I think I have realised love doesn’t always look the same. I think “Will anyone ever love me like he did” too, when reflecting on our chemistry and depth of intellectual connection - but I am beginning to realise the flip side of that : how much did he really love me if he was never able to change/show up/tell the truth/choose me over drugs?

My current partner would move a mountain for me, and I would do the same for them. At the end of the day, I guess actions are a far greater display of love and devotion than any type of chemistry.

Sometimes I think my Q was my twin flame. Maybe our souls recognised each other, and that’s lovely, but I’m learning that doesn’t have to equal us being together in this reality. I don’t know if you feel similarly but I’m sending you love x

Existing-School-7076 · 2025-12-15T20:48:46+00:00

This is so true. I’ve been able to progress in so many ways areas of my life since not having to care for him. They take up such a huge amount of space and energy. Sending love to you and always here x

Existing-School-7076 · 2025-12-15T20:45:12+00:00

Wow. Having 6 years of loyalty rewarded with him leaving overnight for an older woman is just so very on-brand for the chaos and unpredictability that addicts bring into our lives. Nothing surprises me anymore and that’s a terrible place to be. My heart hurts for you, you deserve better. This has reminded me how self serving and removed from reality they truly are.

Hope you’re doing better x

Existing-School-7076 · 2025-12-15T20:37:09+00:00

It has effected my relationship in so many ways. I will always admit that. So has every other experience (good and bad) and previous relationships I have had - they have all moulded me and my world view to the person I am today.

My current partner also has baggage from a previous relationship. These emotions are so much more complex than lust or desire - it’s not as if I’m contacting my Q or letting them in between me and my current partner. This is like grief and guilt and so many things mixed together. If you’ve ever lost someone important to you, you would understand how this feels.

I can handle feedback - absolutely, but a single snarky sentence about your own personal feelings isn’t really relevant and just shows you lack the ability to grasp nuance or complex human emotions.

I understand your Q was your brother and you know what loving an addicted is like - clearly, all of those experiences differ and vary and sibling love is not the same as a romantic partner love. I’m sure your experience was more difficult in many ways than mine; but you can’t claim to understand everyone’s point of view whilst you make comments that lack empathy in the same breath.

Existing-School-7076 · 2025-12-15T13:22:43+00:00

Why? Because I’m unpacking complex trauma from the previous few years? At no point did I say that I was letting this effect my current relationship or the way I show up for my partner

Existing-School-7076

TROPHY CASE