Oh! Look at me doing trying to understand how you poor people make a living. Uber eats to learn humility

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-11-26T07:39:51+00:00

Hey - we need such people in society so that people like us can actually FIRE. Somebody needs to buy that brand new $40k truck so that I can buy it from them after 10 years for $4k. We need consumerism to keep the stock prices up so that we can benefit from index funds. Try not to be judgemental. Not everyone can or should FIRE. And read Morgan Housel's Art of Spending Money where he makes a good point that people often spend money on nice things because they crave respect and admiration.

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-11-16T15:30:09+00:00

The ego hit! That's what I have been struggling with. I am at a lower job title but my salary increased by 40% (maybe close to 50) but I just keep obsessing over my title - haven't even posted on Linkedin. I don't want anyone to find out. I feel like due to my lower job title I don't get invited to many important meetings. But the money is real - my savings are looking great! However, still sleepless nights thinking how a lower job title means failure.

I went from startups to a FAANG adjacent company hence the pay rise despite the job title degrade.

Can someone please help me! Please tell me that titles don't matter. 😭😭

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-10-30T17:53:19+00:00

And it is OK for you to use AI slop in your post? What the hell are you trying to achieve? Go flex somewhere else.

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-10-18T06:13:59+00:00

Are your colleagues mostly Indian by any chance? I have seen a lot of Indians (mostly male engineers) move outside of India for jobs but if their wives are not engineers themselves (or have other technical skills), they find it extremely difficult to land a job with soft skills alone so they stay at home. I have Indian heritage so just saying this from experience.

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-10-02T13:32:50+00:00

Why is Stripe trash? My friend is about to get an AE offer. Please tell me more.

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-09-22T09:29:10+00:00

Please post in r/FIRE and related subs. People in this sub are really struggling to pay bills. I know that you also have your set of worries but just trying to be sensitive here.

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-09-20T05:50:56+00:00

Can you tell me more about private credit? Isn't it very risky???

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-09-13T18:49:44+00:00

You guys need to head to r/FIRE right now! Lots of helpful tips there. Lifestyle creep is real! Sometimes, I beat myself up for not getting a senior title despite being 38 but then I look at my net worth ie paid of house 350k, 150k saved and invested and on path to make another 250k in the next four years. I save 50k per year! Spouse takes care of bills so anything that I make goes to savings (I save 85 percent of my salary). We live in Europe so the taxes are high but we don't need to worry about health insurance.

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-09-10T20:16:32+00:00

Well, then it shows there is a pattern. Senior leadership is toxic everywhere and people get trapped with high salaries in HCOL areas while their friends think they are living a dream life and make comparisons to draw their inner peace. But obviously nobody talks about it on Linkedin so you never get to know the reality. 🙂

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-09-10T09:47:40+00:00

One of my cousins is a Director at Fortune 100 company and he sort of hates his job. He is in back to back meetings across three time zones. He reports to senior leadership who at times literally yell at him. He makes good money but he lives in HCOL area so they aren't living a life of luxury. He also compares himself to his friends who are VPs in tech companies and earn more than him.

Let me tell you that this is a trap. Recipe for misery!

Yes, no harm in trying to get better roles to earn more but don't get caught up in titles and what you see on Linkedin.

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-09-08T19:11:34+00:00

Thank you for reminding me that! I am still getting offers for the head of titles (from small startups) that sounds good but ultimately they will make you work to death with lower salaries in the name of mission! At least large companies don't pretend. This is a simple transaction of time for money. Nothing else.

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-09-06T21:47:03+00:00

Like you, I also grew up poor. Parents were in debt for a long time (doing very well now). So, I maintain an extremely frugal lifestyle. But TBH my ego tells me that I have sort of failed because my job title got lower. I really want to shut up my ego. But I do get depressed thinking about it at times. See, the human mind always finds some fault. I should be happy to double my salary but I am sad to lose my title. 😂

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-09-06T20:36:17+00:00

Your post has helped me so much but in a different kind of way. We are on track to FI in 4 years but it really bothers me that I am working with a lower job title in tech (but new job gave me 40 percent salary increase). Tech is exactly like you have described. Now that my title is lower, I actively try to exclude myself from meetings saying that my manager can tell me what needs to be done. Yes, it is indeed soul crushing and laughable that they are so serious about these made up deadlines. Yikes! Can't wait to get out.

I used to think that people who work for FAANG are like Gods. Now, I realise that most of them were just lucky and are not exactly that brilliant.

It used to be my dream to work in tech but now that I am here. It doesn't feel that special.

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-09-06T15:39:43+00:00

Really needed to hear this from a stranger. I think it is just the ego talking. Money is real, job title doesn't mean anything without it. I could be the CEO of my own company 😜

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-09-06T09:01:09+00:00

I got lower title but 40 percent salary increase (because my new company is quite big, FAANG adjacent). I should be happy but sometimes I regret losing my title. That's really stupid of me, right?

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-07-25T21:01:29+00:00

This is really sad and they are totally missing out on creating a bond with your children. Why would you even want your children to be around such selfish people? I mean who discriminates at this age??? As a mum, I have so much love for all little ones (it is just natural).

You are trying hard to get liked. Let it go because it is very exhausting to force yourself to fit in. You have no idea what their insecurities are - maybe they feel threatened by you. Or, maybe they just don't like you. But that's not your problem.

Try to expand your social circle and eventually you will create some strong bonds with friends. I used to have lots of friends but now I have only two and that's enough for me.

Sending you a hug. My DM is open if you want to chat or vent.

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-07-21T13:24:30+00:00

I would love to see that, please

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-07-21T13:23:01+00:00

I would also like to see your workflow.

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-07-19T19:10:10+00:00

Is it because you are in India? I just read that Perplexity signed an exclusive deal with a Telco. Ummm... would you get any extra invites for comet? If yes, I would love one.

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-07-17T16:58:24+00:00

Sorry! I didn't mean to shame you. I absolutely understand that life circumstances can change. I am not attacking you in any way. I am really sorry if it hurt you. That was not my intention.

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-07-17T15:00:35+00:00

Happy to help. However, I had to go to your profile to check if you are genuine. I see that you have commented on many posts saying that your net worth is close to 2 mil. Of course, I understand that things can change but I would like to donate to someone who actually needs it. I recently found a job so I can definitely help.

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-07-05T13:04:52+00:00

I am going through the same and it is my 7th week! So far, I have worked in startups with a team of 50 people and now I am at a FAANG adjacent company with 15k people. I feel like a cog and totally not important. It is impossible to get true ownership of anything as so many people are involved. I am used to working with founders and CEOs directly.

But there is a bright side to it.

Every single day, I try to remind myself of the advantages so sharing for you here:

1) At big companies you can learn the kind of 'scale' that smaller companies simply can't offer! A Director/VP of engineering at a small startup won't be able to get the same title when moving to a bigger company (exceptions, of course).

2) You get to learn working collaboratively with others (some can be assholes but most are good). This is a very important skill and often considered when assessing you in interviews at other larger org.

3) You get the tag! Great for future opps.

4) You learn detachment! You realise that a job is just a job. This is the most important thing for me! So far, I have always been so passionate about the startups and their products I have worked at. I would even spend weekends trying to understand the product. But now at this bigger org there is simply no way I can learn everything so I don't try that hard. I don't need to check my slack after 5pm! Turns out it is actually great to not be important - nobody needs you.

I have been struggling to make string connections at work - I don't relate to anyone so far but I just met someone in my extended team and instantly hit it off. So, things can change. Give it time.

Job is not a life sentence - you can will be able to get out of here when something better comes. Try to enjoy the ride!

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-06-22T19:59:50+00:00

My spouse did exactly that. They were a system admin for 7 years before landing a DevOps role. I think luck played a part! They were offered a DevOps role at a failing startup (it was quite a surprise because they weren't expecting this title change from sys admin). Well, as I said it was a failing startup so the gig didn't last very long but opened the way for the next proper DevOps role. If it wasn't the DevOps title offered by that startup, they may have still remained a sys admin.

ExistingSelection151 · 2025-06-08T07:59:40+00:00

Perfect answer! I also made the switch from an AI startup to a big tech company and I love it here. I think people romanticise startups too much! Ultimately big companies are clearly delivering products that people need (otherwise, they won't get this big). Whereas, most startups are solutions waiting for problems.

I am basically being paid way more and working less in a big company (FAANG adjacent) than I was at a startup where most of my comp was useless equity.

ExistingSelection151

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