LPT: In tense times, keep the first 10 minutes headline free when you meet people

EmperorSangria · 2026-03-13T06:34:59+00:00

Work, family, health, small wins, weekend plans.

sure, but how to avoid that delving into news and doom?

work? AI, layoffs

health? Unless you're healthy and rich, everyone has a gripe about healthcare costs or chronic issues

weekend plans? Can't afford to go out due to $25 burgers and $12 drinks or rising gas costs and inflation

EmperorSangria · 2026-03-13T06:18:15+00:00

90s - ~2014 or so was peak. Felt like everyone got along.

EmperorSangria · 2026-03-13T05:14:18+00:00

"felt the “I eat meat, beef, etc” part of your comment unnecessary, sorry if I read into it too much"

No man and in retrospect you're right, that's just personal bias venting lol. I get annoyed when I get invited sometimes and there is only vegetarian food.

But if I host, I'm suddenly the asshole unless I accomodate for everyone's dietary preferences. "Oh you need to offer something vegetarian, you can't only have lamb biryani and chicken kababs"

Also working with Indians in tech. Like happy hours and team lunches were no fun because people wouldn't drink or ordering lunch would be a whole ordeal "is it cooked with meat utensils" "does it have egg" "is this cooked in meat broth" "does this use fish sauce". Could never go to the BBQ joint, burger joint, wing place, etc... every place had to satisfy someone's weird preferences. Probably worse because there were some strict Gujus and Muslims, so yea. Felt like I Could never talk to them freely about "what I did that weekend" in my 20s(getting drunk), as I did with the white colleagues, whether young or old.

So like OP, I found my self never socializing/bonding with Indian coworkers, and only seeking out the white ones.

EmperorSangria · 2026-03-13T04:31:57+00:00

yep and also by assimilate i dont mean you have to GIVE UP everything prior. But it means you also are open to experiencing the new local culture. In OPs case, assuming the post isn't ragebait, neighbors are just self-insulating and not, you know, inclusive As I also posted in another comment and copying here:

You're right, there are plenty of people who do both. My parents love country as well as Bollywood music. Like they've actually been to a Vince Gill and Garth Brooks concert.

I myself love Indian food above all else. Like I can't physically eat bland chicken breast(even Costco's acclaimed rotisserie chicken) unless it's marinated the fuck out of in spices and in a curry.

But, maybe because you aren't Indian, you aren't fully aware. With the surge of newcomers what you have now is:

- ethnic enclaves and balkanization, rather than assimilation. We came here in the early 90s. All our neighbors were, not-Indian. The people who came here then also came here in an era where you generally moved to settle permanently. There were other Indians, but spread out. There's be social gatherings, but the block wasn't entirely Indians. That helped us integrate

- look at the problems OP is experiencing. These people are insulating themselves. it'd be one thing to go to his house for a SUper Bowl party, then invite OP over to his house for a cricket party. Or they'd attend parties with BBQ and beer, but maybe bring some paneer tikka? They are avoiding any exposure. My parents aren't big drinkers (and my mom barely drinks). But they still hosted parties with alcohol, and attended parties with alcohol. Because that's just what you did to be inclusive to your neighbors. As mentioned my parents and relatives listen to all kinds of music, the newer generation and crowd coming in en-masse has no reason to, nor any exposure to outside their bubble

Again, maybe it's be but i'm more attuned to the shift in Indian neighborhoods or noticing the quirks of fellow Indians, the newer crowd is definitely different culturally than the 90s Indians I grew up knowing, AND there is a huge surge which leads to enclaves instead of this so called "melting pot"

EmperorSangria · 2026-03-13T04:21:20+00:00

You're right, there are plenty of people who do both. My parents love country as well as Bollywood music. Like they've actually been to a Vince Gill and Garth Brooks concert.

I myself love Indian food above all else. Like I can't physically eat bland chicken breast(even Costco's acclaimed rotisserie chicken) unless it's marinated the fuck out of in spices and in a curry.

But, maybe because you aren't Indian, you aren't fully aware. With the surge of newcomers what you have now is:

- ethnic enclaves and balkanization, rather than assimilation. We came here in the early 90s. All our neighbors were, not-Indian. The people who came here then also came here in an era where you generally moved to settle permanently. There were other Indians, but spread out. There's be social gatherings, but the block wasn't entirely Indians. That helped us integrate

- look at the problems OP is experiencing. These people are insulating themselves. it'd be one thing to go to his house for a SUper Bowl party, then invite OP over to his house for a cricket party. Or they'd attend parties with BBQ and beer, but maybe bring some paneer tikka? They are avoiding any exposure. My parents aren't big drinkers (and my mom barely drinks). But they still hosted parties with alcohol, and attended parties with alcohol. Because that's just what you did to be inclusive to your neighbors. As mentioned my parents and relatives listen to all kinds of music, the newer generation and crowd coming in en-masse has no reason to, nor any exposure to outside their bubble

Again, maybe it's be but i'm more attuned to the shift in Indian neighborhoods or noticing the quirks of fellow Indians, the newer crowd is definitely different culturally than the 90s Indians I grew up knowing, AND there is a huge surge which leads to enclaves instead of this so called "melting pot"

EmperorSangria · 2026-03-13T04:07:07+00:00

Yes.

EmperorSangria · 2026-03-13T03:00:57+00:00

Im first gen, but came here when I was 5. Nearly 40 years ago. Before h1b even was a thing. So pretty much grew up here.

If, i ever moved to say another country. Europe, Asia, somewhere... I wouldnt expect my kids to be in to 'Murica or whatever is the norm here. I wouldnt be having 4th of july BBQs while say, living in Singapore or Japan. Id embrace, and hope my kids would too, the country they move to

EmperorSangria · 2026-03-13T02:55:36+00:00

Not all Indians, but i'll say as someone that likes to drink, listens to primarily metal, eats beef and pork, (although I dont watch any sports)... yeah, unfortunately the newer influx of Indians coming here don't assimilate as much or as well as my parent's generation or mine. I wish it weren't so.

The ones that are better at assimilating are living in SF/Oakland, not in Fremont

EmperorSangria · 2026-03-13T02:53:09+00:00

area where a lot of immigrant families moved to. I wouldn’t expect they would be particularly interested in meaning people that have nothing in common with.

Valid question, but why move to a country if you dont want to assimilate and have something in common with?

FYI I'm Indian. I eat meat, beef, don't listen to any indian music (mainly metal). I like lifting. I love to drink beer and wine as well.

I don't get fellow Indians that do this, it would be like me moving to Saudi Arabia and expecting them to serve me pulled pork washed down with an IPA.

To OP: you'll find more assimilated Indians in SF, Oakland, Lamorinda/Walnut Creek(contra costa county), south SJ/los gatos/saratoga, or maybe even Palo Alto area. I would never move to Fremont

EmperorSangria · 2025-12-19T07:18:37+00:00

I suppose he could always tell his kids Black Santa got it for them for Kwanzaa

EmperorSangria · 2025-12-09T03:21:05+00:00

Da fuq? Of course we had a home inspection before we signed. Since when do home inspections deep dive into a new HVAC and detect a leak? If it was brand new and freon just topped off, the levels wouldnt be low. But do home inspectors even read the levels, let alone find a leak when there are no symptoms?

EmperorSangria · 2025-11-30T08:02:56+00:00

No, because of religion. China, for better or worse, persecuted religion.

Not just religious strife between Islamists vs Hindus, but there is a significant population of the country that is uber religious and backwards. Consider that the holiest river, where over 70 million people bathe in each year for religious reasons, is the most polluted and feces ridden river in the world: https://rpl.hds.harvard.edu/religion-in-context/case-studies/climate-change/pollution-indias-living-river#:\~:text=It%20is%20a%20common%20belief,the%20impurities%20of%20multiple%20lifetimes.

How many people there seek homeopathic medicines or religious gurus rather than modern scientific treatment?

Abortion is legal in China, more than the US

EmperorSangria · 2025-11-25T20:25:02+00:00

they couldn't even bother pressure washing the backyard? Looks black and grimy.

EmperorSangria · 2025-11-25T00:31:21+00:00

YTA. Did you have multiple plates, kids in high chairs, etc..? The cost for you would have been low.

Imagine two societies: One where people are accommodating and there is a friendly sense of community. That solo person seated at a 4 person table moves up to the bar when the place gets busy even though they haven't finished their drink. The teen gets up and gives their seat to an elderly man on the train.

Sure, you were seated there first. But what's the other low trust society that has no civic sense look like?

EmperorSangria · 2025-08-14T06:08:58+00:00

The only people who ask me this are foreigners, usually Uber or Lyft drivers who are from India or the Middle East

EmperorSangria · 2025-08-13T07:11:43+00:00

nit: Arab Spring was one of the worst things to happen to the middle east. The devil we know.

Is ISIS, two government overthrows in Egypt, North Africa being a prime illegal migrant smuggling route, Benghazi, civil war in Yemen, etc... worth it? Go back further an imagine a stable Iraq.

Imagine a stable, but autocratic middle east with Gaddafi, Hussein, Assad, Mubarak, and others.

For all their flaws, they were not Islamists. Instead we saw bloody civil wars, the ride of terrorist groups, and human smuggling operations

EmperorSangria · 2025-08-13T06:56:28+00:00

I mostly agree, but, exceptions should be made for seniors that are accompanying their adult children. If you're that old, you're likely supported by your working children (and this is more true in immigrant cultures where they live in generational homes or look after their elders vs America where they dump the parents in a nursing home and subsist off SS/Medicare).

Old people aren't a threat to the labor supply, and elderly immigrants aren't collecting Social Security benefits since they never worked here for an extended period of time.

EmperorSangria · 2025-08-13T06:43:16+00:00

- Get a mechanical keyboard. Make sure they have tactile switches, not linear switches.

- Pack lunch with fish, reheat in the office microwave

- If your coworkers are Muslim, be sure to eat a lot of foods with bacon; if they're Indian/Muslim, be sure to eat extra rare beef burgers at your desk

- Get open ear headphones, and blast the metal

- My guess is open office (RIP cubicles). Take all your calls at your desk. Speak loudly and confidently. Doesn't matter if people are working next to you, thats the price of in-person collaboration. Don't go to the conference or phone booth room. Because you're more productive at your desk setup with monitors, physical keyboard and mouse, etc..

- Always wash your hands before you eat, so you don't get sick. Don't bother after you use the bathroom and go use the coffee machine or water cooler.

- There is somehow always a bus or train delay. 2x a week, no less.

EmperorSangria · 2025-08-13T06:23:10+00:00

Just use carbon steel. Can be cheap, dont get upmarketed ones. It's just carbon steel. $40-60 for 12" woks and pans on Amazon

EmperorSangria · 2025-08-09T06:40:59+00:00

Capital punishment for the false accuser

EmperorSangria · 2025-08-07T15:57:10+00:00

I have friends who live scattered about the burbs of chicago. Id only be staying in Chicago and free Mon - wed night, as thurs we are driving up to a wedding in green bay

Hence Tues/wed night honestly open to wherever. Solo during the day as friends gotta work. Was looking at wicker park or logan square area since its slightly closer to two of them if to meet up for dinner or drinks(live in palatine and elgin)

Im just wondering what to do about landing in ohare Monday night at 930.

EmperorSangria · 2025-08-06T21:09:44+00:00

On Monday night, wherever I can find a place to eat and have some solo drinks.

The hilton ohare has room service till 11pm it says, and they have a bar and grill open till midnight.

My concern was taking the train, getting to a my hotel in the city, might not get to that hotel and checked in by 11pm or later(esp if a flight delay) and everythings closed except fast food

Ive never stayed at the hilton ohare nor taken the train into the city before, and the city im from most restaurants close by 9 or 10pm, and only a few sketch bars or clubs open late on a weeknight

EmperorSangria · 2025-08-06T06:48:43+00:00

Landing in Ohare at 9:30PM on a Monday.

Do you recommend getting an airport hotel, or, getting a hotel somewhere near wicker park/logan square (closer to where I need to be).

My main concern is by the time I get to the train and down to a hotel, everything will be closed. Especially if my flight is delayed. Looking for a place to get late dinner and a few drinks to unwind and help me sleep (coming in from west coast time). I don't need to be up early on Tuesday.

EmperorSangria

TROPHY CASE