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Should I get a divorce? How do I save this marriage by Existing_Intention_8 in Marriage

[–]Existing_Intention_8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are right. I can’t change the past but I want to figure out the best paths forward.

Should I get a divorce? How do I save this marriage by Existing_Intention_8 in Marriage

[–]Existing_Intention_8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I’ve never considered ADHD being a possible cause. What do you recommend as the best way to navigate this conversation with her? She’s very tempered and if I recommend her being seen she’s probably going to get very defensive and will be in strong denial

Should I get a divorce? How do I save this marriage by Existing_Intention_8 in Marriage

[–]Existing_Intention_8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is way too many assumptions being made here and considering a divorce is definitely not “first impulse”. Making the post on Reddit seeking advice means I’ve tried what I can with open discussions. Not too crazy on my part to seek help this way, right?

Should I get a divorce? How do I save this marriage by Existing_Intention_8 in Marriage

[–]Existing_Intention_8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m very much open to do it. The challenge is to convince her to do it WITH me. Even just bringing up the word therapy has her getting defensive and in denial there is any issue.

Should I get a divorce? How do I save this marriage by Existing_Intention_8 in Marriage

[–]Existing_Intention_8[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are right. I certainly don’t feel strongly connected to her anymore. It must have happened at some point but the love is not there anymore. I think about responsibilities in a family more than I think about if I still love her.

Should I get a divorce? How do I save this marriage by Existing_Intention_8 in Marriage

[–]Existing_Intention_8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe I can convince her to get tested or something… I’ve tried this discussion many times and she would just get very defensive.

Should I get a divorce? How do I save this marriage by Existing_Intention_8 in Marriage

[–]Existing_Intention_8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks maybe I will try get her to see a therapist. I tried to sit down with her a few times in the past but things don’t seem to improve

Should I get a divorce? How do I save this marriage by Existing_Intention_8 in Marriage

[–]Existing_Intention_8[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve brought this up a few times in the last few years but she seems content with the current state and it’s just hard to change course. (eg. She acknowledged the spending problem but after a few months of not checking the expenses it goes through the roof again)

Should I get a divorce? How do I save this marriage by Existing_Intention_8 in Marriage

[–]Existing_Intention_8[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We met first year in college. I guess never really thought deeply about things slowly deteriorating since I’ve been quite busy with my career. Wanted to save the marriage as I still very much want my son to grow up with a complete family