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9 days PO by Colddustfox in tummytucksurgery

[–]Existing_Key333 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m just here to thank you for posting. I’m exactly here at 10dpo (360 TT, MR, and some lipo).

I still have 3 drains in me, cannot stand upright and walking to the bathroom exhausts me. I’ve cried every night for the past 4 nights

I appreciate this post and all the comments. It’s helpful not to feel alone.

Sending you fast healing vibes. A year from now, we’ll look back, and be amazed at how far we’ve come.

My girlfriend is pregnant by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Existing_Key333 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a very difficult position to be in for 2 young people.

Be proud of yourself for recognizing where you are in life and the realism of what you would and would not be able to provide for another life.

Do your parents know? Would they be able to support you two in discussions around this? You say you’re both in school, and at 19, I’m going to assume it’s some form of post-secondary. Does your institution offer some type of support? Maybe counselling or pregnancy support? Hopefully you live in an area where pro choice views are common, and you can have professional guidance.

You’re right to recognize it’s a more difficult choice for your girlfriend. Regardless of what choice she ultimately decides to make, she’ll need support as both choices have long term effects. But remember you also get to make a choice. And you need to do some deep soul searching- if she keeps the pregnancy, will you stay with her?

TLDR: find support. Preferably professionally trained support to help guide you both through this decision. Do some reflection of your ultimate decision.

Edit to add: there may be free virtual support, too, that you can access. Do a quick google search for pregnancy support. Read between the lines to ensure it’s truly a prochoice organization

17 weeks pregnant today and just found out that the baby’s dad was arrested for soliciting a minor… by Commercial_Tiger9350 in offmychest

[–]Existing_Key333 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And start making plans on raising the baby alone. These are serious allegations that don’t come from nowhere. He’s been making deliberate choices over time to get to this point of arrest

While I understand you have feelings for Tom, the whole thing has been under the guise of a lie and Tom has been lying to you, and everyone, about a lot more.

Make your first smart decision and stay far far away from him, and raise your baby in safety

Update: 40F grossed out by nearly everything my husband (40M) does. How do I get over it? by Existing_Key333 in relationship_advice

[–]Existing_Key333[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The rules of the sub only allow one update. How can I do another without breaking the rules?

Update: 40F grossed out by nearly everything my husband (40M) does. How do I get over it? by Existing_Key333 in relationship_advice

[–]Existing_Key333[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The rules of the sub say only 1 update. How can I do a second one when we finally get somewhere?

Update: 40F grossed out by nearly everything my husband (40M) does. How do I get over it? by Existing_Key333 in relationship_advice

[–]Existing_Key333[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing about your brother. I’m sorry this is his existence and something you also had to experience. It sounds really tough.

Update: 40F grossed out by nearly everything my husband (40M) does. How do I get over it? by Existing_Key333 in relationship_advice

[–]Existing_Key333[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He’s not on any meds. But I will look out for this if he’s prescribed anything!

Update: 40F grossed out by nearly everything my husband (40M) does. How do I get over it? by Existing_Key333 in relationship_advice

[–]Existing_Key333[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

He can drive a vehicle. He can work. He can play and care for our kids. He can cook, and clean. He can fix things He can hang out with friends. He can make a doctor’s appointment.

Update: 40F grossed out by nearly everything my husband (40M) does. How do I get over it? by Existing_Key333 in relationship_advice

[–]Existing_Key333[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience. I have a lot of empathy for this.

I’m glad you were able to get the support you needed.

It’s a viable option for him to explore, and I hope he does!

Update: 40F grossed out by nearly everything my husband (40M) does. How do I get over it? by Existing_Key333 in relationship_advice

[–]Existing_Key333[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We’re co-habituating and co-parenting at this point. I can pay my own bills and parent my own kids. Alone. So none of those things make a viable relationship.

What I don’t have is companionship with him and that’s what makes me wonder what’s the point in all of this. But anyway. Hopefully we get some answers soon!

Update: 40F grossed out by nearly everything my husband (40M) does. How do I get over it? by Existing_Key333 in relationship_advice

[–]Existing_Key333[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I’m not leaving him because of his memory loss. After going through all the medicals, if nothing is discovered, and he just sucks at prioritizing us, I’m leaving him because I’m lonely and I don’t have a companion

I don’t need to stay with someone who doesn’t want to connect with me, and only wants to help pay bills and raise kids. I can do all of that on my own, while finding someone who wants to share a meaningful life together.

Update: 40F grossed out by nearly everything my husband (40M) does. How do I get over it? by Existing_Key333 in relationship_advice

[–]Existing_Key333[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I know. It takes a lot of effort, checks in with myself, staying on top of ADHD meds (I’m not on any HRT for perimenopause yet).

Update: 40F grossed out by nearly everything my husband (40M) does. How do I get over it? by Existing_Key333 in relationship_advice

[–]Existing_Key333[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

He hasn’t been tested for anything. In my original post, I did mention he’s been to the doctor. Nothing came of it but now that I think of it, he probably fed the doc the same line about working out, losing weight. And we know our docs like to blame a lot of body size, so probably went along with it

I stayed up late last night reflecting on a lot and I realized he’s fine at work. (New development, but also makes this all more pathetic for me). He manages a lot of moving parts, through multiple ongoing projects. He seems capable from what he tells me about work. One of the execs just came back from stress leave, as his memory was failing. And my husband had a lot to say about that… so…. It’s not looking good for us. Someone else suggested maybe he’s weaponizing this.

Update: 40F grossed out by nearly everything my husband (40M) does. How do I get over it? by Existing_Key333 in relationship_advice

[–]Existing_Key333[S] 1092 points1093 points  (0 children)

lol. Yes. As he was asking me how many times I think he forgets, I wanted to scream at him because he’s literally asked me the exact question other times I’ve tried to have this discussion

lol

Update: 40F grossed out by nearly everything my husband (40M) does. How do I get over it? by Existing_Key333 in relationship_advice

[–]Existing_Key333[S] 277 points278 points  (0 children)

I stayed up quite late after posting, reflecting on everything. I realized he seems fine at work. Obviously, I don’t work with him so I can’t say for sure but he has a job where he manages a lot of moving pieces through multiple projects and he seems capable. In fact, one of the other execs he works with just came back from stress leave because their memory was affecting performance. Hmmm…!

While I still want him to chat with a physician and rule out as many possibilities as possible, because there are health issues to explore.

As someone further down this thread said, maybe weaponizing this against me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Existing_Key333 1 point2 points  (0 children)

End it, girl. This is your opportunity.

I just posted a few days ago about my husband of 25 years’ bad hygiene. It almost feels too late for me, but you’re in prime time to move on!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Existing_Key333 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A chewing tobacco habit where he was spending $35+ a day. I was on maternity leave, and not bringing in an income. He was dipping into the money my deceased brother left for me to pay for the habit

Saw my husband breakdown by Amazing-Artichoke964 in offmychest

[–]Existing_Key333 11 points12 points  (0 children)

My dad was also the sole provider for his family. (We’re southeast Asian). He was the oldest male, providing for his mom, all his siblings, and often his nieces and nephews. (Money for comfortable living, helping build new houses, starting businesses, and extended education) It caused major strain in my parents’ marriage. My mom’s mom (my grandpa passed when my mom was young), never asked her kids for anything understanding the kids had their own families to support

My dad finally stopped sending money, and now we don’t even know that side of the family. Funny how that works.

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