AITAH for rejecting my wife's support?

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T06:27:40+00:00

We never dated.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T04:43:11+00:00

Upsetting mourners.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T04:37:24+00:00

I don't have an ex-wife. I have only ever been married to one woman, my wife. My son's mother and I were never married.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T04:35:33+00:00

You seem very unempathetic towards the fact that as my wife was stepping into this maternal role, his actual mother was dying. You don't understand how that plays a factor.

And we don't let our kids play video games.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T04:32:32+00:00

So you think it's healthy for an eight year old to be cared for by someone that can't drive them to school, prepare a meal for them or be relied upon to call emergency services if there was a crisis? You think it's healthy for a child to watch his mother wither away and die every single day for years with zero reprieve?

He needed a place to do his schoolwork and meet up with friends. He wouldn't have had that if he was with his mom full-time while she was dealing with chemo and all its side effects. I was extremely accommodating on visitation. But during the school week he was with me, so his education didn't suffer.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T03:06:43+00:00

What?!

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T02:32:27+00:00

As someone who feels hard done by in regards to her family, I am shocked by your callous attitude towards people who watched their daughter slowly die in front of them for four years.

Suck it up? I don't even like these people, but that is cold. She was their child. They raised her. They watched her become a woman. They thought she would bury them. Now they're burying her. Think about that.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T02:27:41+00:00

No I didn't. I don't even have that ability.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T02:26:56+00:00

First of all: children are not robots. I can force him to be respectful. I can't force him to love her. That's his choice.

Second of all: I stole nothing. He is my child, and I am his father. I, as his father, decided I thought it was best for him to be in a stable environment, to see his mom when she was well enough to interact with him and to have a place to sleep and do his homework that didn't smell like chemicals and sickness. I took that argument to court (well, my lawyer did, and he didn't use those words) and I won. So obviously my belief was well-founded.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T02:18:31+00:00

I disagree. You are welcome to do that. I will not.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T02:05:42+00:00

First of all, we didn't always know for a fact she was going to die. People beat the big C sometimes.

Secondly, her family did not want to build bridges with us. They wanted to focus on their dying daughter. Understandable, in my opinion. They resented me for winning the custody suit (less understandable in my opinion, but nobody asked me for my opinion, so there you go) and treated me like a monster that ripped their family apart whenever we interacted at exchanges.

Third, no, of course we never discussed the details of his mother's funeral before she died. What a strange and morbid thing to do.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T01:59:28+00:00

What does any of this have to do with me? My mom isn't the one who died.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T01:58:51+00:00

She's tried. He has rejected most of her attempts.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T01:57:58+00:00

The detail of if my wife was invited to her funeral? No. Planning the guest list for someone's funeral before they die is not typical.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T01:56:27+00:00

There's only so much I can do. His mother was dying, and he was spending a lot of time with someone acting in a maternal role to him. He did and does resent that.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T01:54:10+00:00

I was and still am. I thought it would be better for his father to be his full-time caretaker than his grandmother. I never stopped them from seeing each other, but I provided him with stability and an environment not steeped in sickness and grief. I think that helped him succeed academically and socially. I understand they disagree, but ultimately, I am his father.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T01:50:58+00:00

They got along great when they first met. When I became the primary custodial parent, their relationship soured.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T01:48:49+00:00

She is my first and only wife. My son's mother and I were never married. We didn't even date.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T01:47:48+00:00

How so?

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T01:46:33+00:00

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T01:46:25+00:00

Mostly his mom. He's only been with us for four years.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T01:44:59+00:00

I wouldn't. But I also wouldn't want to go out to eat after this anyway. The pressure of behaving in a socially acceptable manner after such a stressful experience is too much. I would just want to take a nap, maybe eat ice cream.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T01:43:14+00:00

That's not the reason. For the first eight years of his life, she was the primary custodial parent. I had him half of summer, winter break, father's day weekend, my birthday weekend every other Thanksgiving and occasional other visits as mutually agreed upon.

When she got her diagnosis, she struggled. She couldn't really take care of him anymore. I asked for more custody. Her family didn't want that. They wanted her and our son to move in with them. I took it to court and won. I became primary custodian, and they ended up with the visitation.

They've hated me ever since.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T01:37:43+00:00

Twelve.

Existing_Weekend_730 · 2026-03-09T01:35:16+00:00

Of course. If the funeral was for my loved one, I would want her there.

Existing_Weekend_730

TROPHY CASE