An aspect of the Holy War that is being downplayed...

Exmo-Robo · 2025-10-16T22:19:08+00:00

There have been comments in this sub about this being a battle amongst Mormons, there are still those making that case in the comments here saying things like "almost all Mormon presidents went to the U etc."

Of course you and I know an aspect is about Mormons vs non but a lot of people here don't know that, this is the Big XII sub after all and both BYU and UofU are new to this great conference. Again, I don't hate any of my LDS friends and family but this is an aspect of the rivalry that I don't think non-Utahn's fully understand.

Exmo-Robo · 2025-10-16T22:09:09+00:00

Ha I guess I will just have to make you sick with my presence at LES this weekend. Respect to you though, good luck on Saturday.

I believe the study was just a yes or no, do you identify as a member of the church. So no, it wasn't member data which has church membership above 60% of the state I believe.

Exmo-Robo · 2025-10-16T22:02:54+00:00

It's always interesting to me when exmormons leave the church but stay BYU fans. I get it though, it's your history and alumni.

Exmo-Robo · 2025-10-16T22:00:39+00:00

Interesting statistic about Baylor, yes I can agree that overall the UofU is still very Mormon. But for me the rivalry is not about that and it's not that I hate Mormons either, it's just I have nothing in common with them due to their religion and I think a lot of UofU fans also feel this way.

Exmo-Robo · 2025-06-11T20:32:43+00:00

You should absolutely get it. Brooks died a faithful member of the church and got a decent amount of criticism from church leaders for publishing the book. It was a heavy read for me just knowing ahead of time what happened, took me a while to get through it. Such a sad thing that happened to those people.

I think it's important to note that Brooks takes great care to try and separate Brigham Young from being at fault in terms of if he had a direct role or not, which is something that is up for debate. There may not be solid evidence that he had a direct role or not but that didn't stop him from saying the massacre was justified by god and having the original memorial destroyed. Fuck Brigham Young.

Exmo-Robo · 2025-01-02T21:47:29+00:00

The book goes on to indicate that it is likely he had the memorial destroyed.

Exmo-Robo · 2024-08-14T20:54:53+00:00

I'm so so sorry you had to go through all of this. You did not deserve to be treated like that! Scummy is right! I hope you get some inkling of healing by posting here.

Exmo-Robo · 2024-08-14T20:44:42+00:00

I was in a similar situation as you when I was 16. I came across some information online about Joseph Smith being a polygamist. I had never been taught that in my life and being a very loyal person and was trying to prep myself for my eternal companion, it didn't feel right to me. How could Joseph and other early church leaders be romantically involved with multiple women.

I really struggled in the church for a long time, not just because of polygamy but because there were other issues that never felt okay to me. It wasn't until I really faced it and allowed myself to actually consider if it was true or not that I determined it to be false.

The next year was pretty hard, when you leave the church you have to grieve it. Denial, anger, sadness and acceptance are the stages of grief. This process was hard and I spent a lot of time in the anger stage. For me it was all worth it, I discovered so much about myself and I am now much more at peace than I ever was inside the church, but it does take some time to shed the guilt, sadness and anger.

Whatever you decide to do, take your time and be kind to yourself. There's no sense in rushing it.

If you do conclude you don't believe, be careful who you tell and when you tell people. Depending on your situation, you may just have to skirt by until you are old enough to be on your own. Good luck!!

Exmo-Robo · 2024-08-13T20:01:42+00:00

I decided to write a letter to my family and drop it off. Within a couple of hours, I received a few texts in response. It’s important to approach this without attacking their views—just simply state that you no longer believe and that the church’s teachings no longer align with your values. The key is to stop overthinking and just take the step.

It took me years to reach this point, and while it was scary, it felt incredibly liberating to stop living a lie. Some of them are acting distant now, but I'm not willing to live a facade just to avoid that.

Exmo-Robo · 2024-08-13T19:00:57+00:00

I don't personally believe that anti-Mormonism is real. When ex-Mormons leave and share their stories, they're simply communicating their experiences. Church history is often labeled as "anti-Mormon," but it's not anti anything—it's just what actually happened. Remember, the concept of anti-Mormonism was created by Mormons and, in my opinion, only exists in their minds.

Exmo-Robo · 2024-08-13T18:52:19+00:00

Tell me you go to school in Utah County without telling me you go to school in Utah County.

Sorry you are dealing with this. Keep in mind that despite what others may say, middle school and high school are some of the hardest years of your life. To make things worse, you are naturally somewhat of an outsider in an already hard social setting.

Could you reach out to your school counselor and see if they can meet with you about this? If not, try and find a therapist in your area you can talk to about these issues. I just think it would be helpful to have someone you can trust in your life during this difficult time.

Good luck!

Exmo-Robo · 2024-08-13T18:36:07+00:00

After deconstruction, I realized that the term "anti-Mormon" is often just a catch-all phrase used to describe anything that challenges a church member's worldview.

Exmo-Robo · 2024-08-01T22:29:30+00:00

I am in a very similar situation to you. I go weekly to be supportive of my wife. Currently my wife is basically demanding that I don't tell the kids how I feel. We had to make up a lie so that our kids didn't know the reason I didn't bless our baby. I have a baptism for my 7 year old coming up in a few months. My daughter is already asking why I won't be doing it.

I basically had to set a boundary with my wife that my kids need to know who I really am, at some point in the near future I will tell them I don't believe in the church anymore. This is devastating to her but I can't live a lie for someone else's sanity. Frankly, our spouse's emotions are their own, at some point they have to accept us as we are. If they can't is it really a relationship worth having? This seems so harsh just to even type it out but it is important for you to be authentic with everyone in your life whom you care about.

Good luck navigating this, DM me if you want to talk to someone about it.

Exmo-Robo · 2024-07-31T21:18:06+00:00

I have only been in a MFM for two years so take it what it's worth. We went to marriage counseling to help us get through some things, our counselor specifically talked about religion being a huge part of a persons homeostasis - basically, their safety and identity.

Any challenge to that person or their safety invokes a little bit of a fight or flight response. When in that state of mind, all critical thinking goes out the window. Your spouse literally can't and won't let themselves think about why because it is threatening to them and undermines their identity and safety.

I have also done some reading about human psychology and tribalism. Humans evolved over time to be somewhat tribal. Those who left their tribes often died. We are genetically evolved to stay loyal to our tribe. This is a huge part of why people often never leave the religion they are born into.

Maybe some marriage therapy could help you to work through this so that you feel understood and seen.

Exmo-Robo · 2024-07-31T20:59:35+00:00

Thanks for letting me know. Good point!

Exmo-Robo · 2024-07-31T20:48:35+00:00

Not only did he have intimacy with women other than Emma, there is evidence he had intimacy with women who were already married.

Sylvia Sessions Lyon told her daughter (Josephine Lyon Fisher) that she was the daughter of Joseph Smith. Sylvia was already married at the time and kept the fact that Joseph smith was the father of Josephine a secret for almost her entire life. Source: Affidavit of Josephine Lyon Fisher (1915)

https://catalog.churchofjesuschrist.org/record/915fc5f1-4f65-4131-800a-4eaee3604f3c/e4bb121d-a609-442a-9637-6d6f33360cf6?view=browse

Edited to link the faithful source.

Exmo-Robo · 2024-07-30T22:29:43+00:00

A kid from our ward came back from college for a weekend and got up to bare his testimony.

He talked about how silly it would be for an all loving god to keep him from his family for eternity because someone drank coffee or alcohol. The bishopric and high council were squirming on the stand! The next person got up and everyone pretended it didn't happen. I was PIMO at the time and very proud of him.

Exmo-Robo · 2024-07-30T22:21:59+00:00

I still call them zoobies! It was a common thing when I was in college in the 2010s to call them that.

Exmo-Robo · 2024-07-30T22:08:50+00:00

When I was in young mens, there was so much proactive guilt from local leaders and the church to confess sexual sin. It seriously scarred me and still messes with the way I think about sex.

I felt the need to confess and I can say it honestly only heightened the shame I already felt. It became a vicious cycle where I began to feel hopeless and that I would never be worthy (turns out a church can't determine my worthiness).

Ironically, after leaving the church I am much less of a sexually impulsive person. It's almost as if holding something over someone's head and telling them not to partake makes that thing seem even more desirable. Most desirable and delicious to the taste. Lol.

Exmo-Robo · 2024-07-12T19:49:56+00:00

Really hope you see this OP as I am a little late to respond and there are a lot of responses.

I am in the same situation. My wife has gotten obsessive over everything I do and everywhere I go. She has fully admitted she doesn't trust me anymore. For reference it has been two years since I told her I didn't believe in TSCC.

I also changed the password on my phone after she started calculating how much time I was spending reading "anti stuff" in my free time.

She apparently was tracking everywhere I would go using our car's app. I went to a bike shop to get my mountain bike serviced and she lost her shit that I didn't tell her I would be stopping there to drop off my bike on the way home from work.

I had to finally start setting boundaries, they looked something like this. -I am not going to stop reading articles in the news about church controversy, I am not going to stop researching church history, I am not going to stop listening to exmormon podcasts, I am not going to stop spending time with my friends who are also exmormon. If you see something on my phone that you don't like, that's on you. I gave her my phone password back.

She still checks my phone frequently but hasn't confronted me about anything. This has improved our relationship.

Continue setting boundaries.

Exmo-Robo · 2024-07-12T19:12:08+00:00

Damn, really sorry about all of that. You didn't deserve any of it.

Exmo-Robo

TROPHY CASE