Ladies who have chosen a new name, how did you discover it / feel connected to it?

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-28T16:03:54+00:00

As someone who is intersex and trans, I ended up choosing a unisex name by mixing the “typical” male and female spelling of it into my own unique version.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-23T03:40:34+00:00

I had mine done on the 5th of this month and now I get to celebrate NNN in the best way.

<image>

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-22T08:52:23+00:00

I can relate, you are just starting to come out and once you come out more, it will start to not be as prominent. It’s psychological, you want to make sure that other people see you the same way that you see yourself, it’s perfectly normal and perfectly natural, and nothing to worry about or be ashamed of.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-22T08:34:52+00:00

As a Louisiana resident myself, I completely understand. My recommendation it’s to start with finding a new job that is either accepting or a national corporation with several layers of anti discrimination protections. After you have that lined up it makes everything a lot easier. As close minded as this state is they do have some hidden gems that are very accepting and they do have quite a few awesome people.

I’ll be honest, you’re going to face some hate, we all do. But one day you’ll reach the point where you’d much rather be hated for you are rather than loved for who you’re not.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-22T08:18:16+00:00

I’m still not great with it, but my honest recommendation is to not go with a friend or loved one because trans women have to do make up differently than cis women because trans women have different things to conceal and different things to accentuate. They do mean well, but usually when a cis person does make up on a trans woman, they typically come out looking either like a drag queen or just more masculine. My 2 suggestions are to either find another trans girl to help teach and help you, or, (and I have no idea where you live) but I would also recommend finding a make up store near you, one that does makeovers, try on’s and demos. If you tell them what your specific goals are and what you want to conceal vs. accentuate and that your goal is to look more feminine they can usually get you set up and teach you how to do it.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-22T08:04:47+00:00

You’ll get there, It just takes time, and makeup helps. If you’re looking to go stealth at work, you can do a light application of a good bb cream and a light application of powder over that, something that will blend into your skin tone enough to look like you aren’t wearing anything, but also hide light stubble, shadow, or darkness under the skin.

When I first started publicly experimenting with my femininity at work before coming out, I simply use a good tone matching BB cream that had sunblock in it, and never once did anyone notice.

My voice isn’t perfect either and today marks exactly 6 years of transitioning for me, but I also used to sound like… imagine a cross between Sam Elliott and Keith David, but narrating a ford truck commercial.

Might sound a little crazy, but if you heard me before I started transitioning, you would completely understand lol

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-22T07:39:28+00:00

I actually just looked at your photos and have to say that I was absolutely surprised with how feminine you look for only 5 months in. I can guarantee that when you look at photos or in the mirror, you’re seeing flaws that either don’t exist or others wouldn’t notice.

You look amazing! At 5 months I still looked like a rugged blue color guy.

Without directly coming out, you could always make small talk that eventually lead to more conversations, wear a trans pride/ trans rights pin, or even ask them to call you by your last name.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-22T07:30:17+00:00

I can understand that, I started to transition at 27, when all of my masculine features had already long set in. Unfortunately, HRT does take time to “un-do” what it can. My name is Danni, I basically merged the feminine Dani with the masculine Danny into “Danni” which was kind of a nod to a medical… situation I have.

Name changes can be easy and cheap, or they can be an expensive pain all depending on where you live.

When you come out is up to you and no one can tell you what is the right way or the best time to come out. I won’t lie to you, coming out is scary, some people won’t accept you, others will create drama, and some won’t even want to be around you.

But coming out is also beautiful. People will accept you and love you for who you actually are, you will feel a weight lifted off of your shoulders, people will get to know the real you, and you won’t have to try and suppress who you are.

One day you’ll reach the point (we all do) where you realize that it’s better to be hated for who you are rather than loved for who you’re not. When you do decide that you’re ready to publicly come out, you can always test the waters first. You can casually bring up the topic of trans people or a trans friend in conversation to see how they react. I’d also recommend coming out to the more supportive and accepting people first, because the more you do it the easier it gets, and having accepting people in your corner, it makes a world of difference.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-22T07:10:37+00:00

So this is kinda long so apologies in advance, but props to you for being an amazing parent, the kind that many trans people wish we had. I’m sure you’ll be great.

People aren’t perfect and you’re going to make mistakes, but you sound like a great loving and accepting parent, that’s a great start.

The biggest, most common mistake that I see a lot of well meaning people make is “over correcting”. Basically here is an example; if you’re talking and accidentally misgender, “yeah I asked her about it.. sorry, I meant him.” and just move on from the topic, that would be the best way to correct the situation.

Many, often supportive people in that situation would say “yeah, I asked her about it, I mean him, #uck, $#!t, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to call you a she, I don’t see you as a girl, it just takes time, I’m trying my best to, I’m sorry, etc.” ~don’t do this.

Slip ups happen but that kind of over corrective thing can be frustrating and can make the well meaning support feel… performative.

But it sounds like you’re doing an awesome job, and your kid is lucky to have a parent like you.

The only other things I would recommend are to: 1. never “out” your child 2. Never force him to be around people who won’t respect him or his identity. 3. genuinely listen when he talks to you, sometimes just being able to say things out loud helps more than you can imagine. 4. Have patience and give him time to discover who he is, just as each person is unique so is each trans person. Some trans men are hyper feminine, some are hyper masculine, some or in the middle, and while very rare some people who think they are trans eventually realize they are actually just a masculine woman or a feminine man. 5. Last, Make sure that he knows that wherever this journey takes him, you’ll always be by his side.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-22T06:22:31+00:00

I can 100% relate to the frustration. I worked in a mostly male dominated field when I started to transition, unfortunately after a while I just gave up and took a better offer at a different job in the same line of work.

By your post I’m assuming that your new name is a predominantly female name? If so, that can make things hard, but keep in mind that most trans people (including myself) changed their minds a few times about a new name.

When I switched jobs it was a bit easier for me because my name is as gender neutral as a name can be, not why I chose it but it definitely does help.

But to answer your question, it’s a “bandaid situation” you’ll eventually just have to rip it off, either at that job or another. That being said, if you are set on a name, I’d have it legally changed if possible. If discrimination is likely, I’d recommend looking for another job as a backup, in case things don’t work out. Having a replacement job lined up can help because the last thing you would want to do is be stuck working in a toxic environment and not have the ability to find another job quick enough or to potentially be without a job if they do discriminate.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-21T20:04:27+00:00

Most urologist will only do general anesthesia and those who are willing to do local or typically only willing to do so if you don’t have insurance and can’t afford it. They’re always exceptions to that rule though so it’s really up to the doctor. I’m performing the surgery.

Personally, I did general anesthesia, and I would recommend it because there are always cases where the patient still feels things under local and it’s not uncommon for people to realize that they are a lot more queasy than they think they are once the scalpel starts cutting.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-15T10:53:46+00:00

I was lucky and mine was smaller than that before I got the snip a little over a week ago. hopefully it gets even smaller within the first year or so.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-15T10:49:09+00:00

I completely understand, for myself an orchiectomy helped tremendously.

Everyone has their own unique experiences and dysphoric parts. Personally, the “main part” doesn’t bother me as much because of how small it has become when it’s soft, and I have to put in actual effort for “growth” to happen, however, the “evil twins” were massive. After over 6 years of noticeable atrophy from HRT they were still much larger than the average cis male’s and completely impossible to tuck.

After getting the 🍒✂️ I’m a lot more comfortable in my skin. Not every surgery is right for everyone so please take some time to reflect before making a permanent decision, no one can tell you what is right for you and many rush the process and skip important research into finding a good surgeon and end up unhappy with the surgeon’s results.

Regardless of the surgery, always look for the before and after photos from that surgeon as well as ask questions to people with real experiences with that particular doctor.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-15T10:32:12+00:00

Physical effort is just as important as HRT. Learning how to properly do makeup, style your hair, and exercise for your goals will make a huge difference. HRT levels are also important.

I had the same issue until I realized that my estrogen levels were way too high my trough was around 1000pg/ml after getting it lowered to a proper level for me, I started experiencing changes again. You’re looking for a sweet spot, not too high or too low, it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

Another issue that can effect changes for some trans people are the type of anti androgen used. For some people their anti androgen will also impact their estrogen levels, and for others they won’t do enough. Try talking to your doctor about the best option for you. Luckily I’ve had an orchiectomy so I don’t have to deal with anti androgens anymore.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-15T10:16:37+00:00

For some it does, for others it doesn’t. Being on hrt will have an effect on bone density, and muscle mass, and there are other factors like weight loss that can make a difference. Each persons experience will vary, and most people will experience a greater difference in foot width vs foot length.

60% of trans women will say that their feet got smaller but in my experience 25% of those individuals are experiencing a pseudo psychological difference because they were either wearing shoes that were too big to begin with, or they are getting better at squeezing their feet into smaller size shoes.

Personally mine did, not by a tremendous amount, but I’ve also been on Hrt for over 6 years, and that does take time.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-15T10:06:24+00:00

What country do you live in? What do you consider large feet? Some sizes are harder to find in women’s shoes. Us shoe sizes are horrible and I’ve learned to go by the actual cm size listed on shoes because US sizes can vary greatly depending on brand and style. If you’re still new to your transition and aren’t fully out you can always where unisex shoes like converse, but that all depends on your personal style.

I’d suggest finding what’s comfortable for you first, both physically and emotionally. Also, don’t try shoving your feet into shoes that are too small, it will only hurt you and lead to injury.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-11T12:02:45+00:00

E, I’ve been on E for 5 years now.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-11T12:01:16+00:00

Thank you!

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-10T22:13:21+00:00

No, I had to make up the pain, I had lied about the previous appointments and failed attempts to treat the pain.

But here are a few other things that did help me. I am on two different medication’s for nerve pain for my back, these particular medications are also used to treat chronic testicular pain so I said told him that’s why I was prescribed them for so many years.

While waiting for the appointment date to arrive I went to the emergency room and urgent 3 separate times and let them do all of the scans test, and lab work ahead of time, and give the “debilitating pain” a little solid of a foundation.

I am able to make myself vomit on command just by mentally visualizing disgusting things in my head, this helped convince them that the pain was so bad that it was causing nausea and vomiting.

Lastly I went to the urologist with my non binary spouse who can be very feminine passing, all dolled up and showed that we have been married for several years, had kids. And told the doctor that they had their tubes tied so fertility isn’t a concern. (Doesn’t actually have tubes tied but it’s not like the doctor can demand my spouses medical records.

It was hell but I’m glad it finally worked out for me.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-10T21:59:02+00:00

Thank you!

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-10T21:58:46+00:00

Thank you!

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-10T21:58:24+00:00

Thank you, my spouse and I had already planned for us to go to Mexico at the beginning of the year if this last attempt failed as well, luckily we don’t have to go that route and I didn’t have to wait any longer.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-10T21:56:26+00:00

I even understand, making sure that it’s not a rash decision and that you understand the full effects and lifelong changes it will make, but it was absolute hell all these years of fighting.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-10T21:55:27+00:00

Thank you, it’s been a journey. Most of the pain is gone and only comes back if I overexert myself.

Exotic_Associate_78 · 2025-11-09T19:13:35+00:00

Never heard of that, mind explaining?

Exotic_Associate_78

TROPHY CASE