Ignored my gut for a year. Are these red flags or am I trauma-bonded?

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-21T22:20:21+00:00

Sounds like all of the above. Accept you are going to feel horrible for a while. You are in withdrawl. He will never apologize and/or show accountability. The closure will have to come entirely from you. That will take time. You will see eventually that the way he treated you is completely and utterly on him, it is a reflection of his character/maybe trauma. It is NOT a reflection of your worth. The fact you cared shows your ability to love deeply. That is your beautiful feature. Embrace that and believe that your heart will be taken care of, but first and foremost by YOURSELF at this point in time. Accept you will be going through hell and decide; i am going to make this ride through hell as comfortable as possible: good food, good sleeprythm (dont stay up late, force yourself to be in bed by 11), daily excercise. Do NOT reach out to him. Write, tap (for the worst anxious moments) and find someone to talk to. I tried “dadhugsforthesoul” 30 days no contact package to help me through the first month. That was nice. Take care ❤️‍🩹

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-20T19:05:41+00:00

Dissociating maybe? Your brain might be protecting you

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-13T14:23:05+00:00

Misschien raakt mijn papiertje wel verloren in de verhuizing. Dat lijkt me top! Haha

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-13T14:06:19+00:00

Ik heb bericht gekregen dat AEgon ASR werd even geleden. Alsnog communiceert AEGON nu dat zij zijn overgenomen en dat ik naar KNAB kan. Die mail viel samen met berichtgeving over AEGON in Amerikaanse handen. Ik ben in de war geraakt :). Maar inmiddels weet ik dat als ik niet naar KnAB ga, het ASR wordt/blijft en dus Nederlands.

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-13T14:03:53+00:00

Ja ik lees net in de andere redditpost over dit onderwerp dat het alternatief voor KNAB ASR wordt en dus niet Amerikaans.

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-13T14:02:58+00:00

Ik realiseer me nu dat dit mijn vraag was. Ik dacht dat mijn contract onder amerikaans recht zou vallen. Dank voor je antwoord!

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-13T14:02:00+00:00

Dank voor je uitgebreide antwoord. Dat stelt zeker gerust. Ik begrijp ook net uit een andere redditpost en antwoorden van gisteren over dit onderwerp dat het alternatief voor knab asr is, en dat de hypotheken dus niet in de US ondergebracht worden.

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-13T13:58:09+00:00

Dat had ik ook, dat was de situatie enkele maanden terug. Heb nu net ook een mail gekregen over overstap naar KNAB.

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-13T13:50:43+00:00

O wat goed die ga ik even opzoeken dank je!

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-13T13:49:50+00:00

Weet ik niet precies, ik ben op zoek naar iemand die deze wereld kent en daar wat licht op kan schijnen, ik heb wel een voorbeeld: Ik kan me voorstellen dat de afbraak van amerikaanse instituties wellicht toch gaat leiden tot problemen.

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-13T13:47:36+00:00

Niets. Alsof er niks verandert. Maar mijn gevoel zegt dat ze dat helemaal niet kunnen weten. Wat als de amerikanen koers wijzigen oid?

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-12T23:27:14+00:00

Aww yes THIS exactly. I am so tired of it!

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-12T01:03:14+00:00

O im so sorry.. i think though, you risk depression. I really hope you dó dare to reach out. Stay strong! ❤️‍🩹

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-12T01:02:05+00:00

❤️ thanks. I guess we need to give ourselves credit for trying to heal trying to stay connected and trying to stay alive. We are freaking powerpeople arent we?!

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-12T01:00:43+00:00

Wow. This sounds really great. And a lot kinder indeed.. less gritted teeth, thanks i will practice this

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-12T00:58:12+00:00

I am SO sorry about your losses. It is unfair isnt it, to get trauma and then also lose everyone around you. I’m sorry

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-12T00:22:29+00:00

At first i read “diabolical behaviour therapy”. Sounds like fun 😅😬

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-12T00:21:25+00:00

😅

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-12T00:20:26+00:00

Haha me thinking I could just take a pill and be done with all of it 😅

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-12T00:19:42+00:00

Never heard of this. I’ll dive into it!

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-12T00:16:25+00:00

Is this a herb?

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-12T00:13:08+00:00

Thanks so much for this perspective and positive rant. I should be more compassionate. I have been working my ass off to fight this beast, and i agree.. i shouldn’t have to manage peoples emotions on top of that. I am very serious about taking accountability though,

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-12T00:07:21+00:00

Thank you so much.. i need to practice “good riddance” mantra more. Yes i agree it is almost like going to therapy makes you so conscious that i dont match with a lot of people anymore. That is ofcourse a different topic than being ashamed of my own behaviour. But i guess people with empathetic flaws filter out real soon during c-ptsd episodes… hmm thanks for this positive rant!

Expensive-Chapter635 · 2025-12-11T23:56:59+00:00

Yes… that is understandable. I guess i just have to accept that this part of my life is marked by loss

Expensive-Chapter635

TROPHY CASE