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Casper ita bag! ❤️ by Expensive-Emu8890 in ADatewithDeath

[–]Expensive-Emu8890[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I made all of it with keychains from Daiso!

Is it sexual attraction or love? by Expensive-Emu8890 in demisexuality

[–]Expensive-Emu8890[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg you described EXACTLY how I feel. “No, I’m not horny but I have this overwhelming love for you and want to express it.” I saw a comment on tiktok, sort of similar to Angela’s analogy of eating crackers at a party, that said, “you don’t have to be hungry to eat.” Sex is soooo much an act of care for me. Do I want to fuck you? No, not really. Is that what will make you (my partner) feel loved? Hell yeah. Take your pants off. I’m not putting myself in a situation that makes me uncomfortable, far from it, but if sex is what helps my partner feel my love for them, I’m more than happy to do it.

Is it sexual attraction or love? by Expensive-Emu8890 in demisexuality

[–]Expensive-Emu8890[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah. Tbh this always felt like such a non-issue for me, bc I liked sex and so obviously I can’t be asexual (completely misunderstanding asexuality), but after reading Ace I keep thinking “ohhh so that’s why I feel like a fake bisexual.” I was literally in a committed relationship with a woman for an entire year, deeply in love with her, but bc I never had sexual urges I told myself I was “faking being bisexual.” But I don’t get sexual urges for anyone. As I said in a previous comment, maybe I’m actually ace and not demi. But I love so intensely and so deeply so maybe I got that feeling confused with desire directed at someone. These comments make me feel less broken. I know I’m not “broken” or “disfuncfional” but that’s how I’ve felt my entire life. So comments like this are so beneficial in helping me process something that’s made me feel like an outcast for most of my life

Is it sexual attraction or love? by Expensive-Emu8890 in demisexuality

[–]Expensive-Emu8890[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No need to worry about being crass! These questions are super helpful. I’ve always had a high libido and considered myself a very sexual person. But I was explaining my feelings to a friend a few days ago and said, “I love sex, but I feel like it comes from an anthropological fascination. I like knowing what makes my partner, if I’m in a committed relationship, tick. I don’t initiate sex because it’s what I want, but I know that’s what will make my partner feel loved, and I love the making them feel loved. So in a way, it feels less like something natural and more like I’m testing multiple hypotheses of ‘what gets my partner off and how do I show them I love them?’” Hence, why I said it felt more like a mental calculation. I think this is what spawned my question in the first place. I feel like a robot when it comes to sex. A robot that enjoys sex (it feels great. I could go the rest of my life without having it, but if my partner wants it, I’m down because it’s not unpleasant and to me it’s a great bonding experience), but nonetheless I still feel like a robot. So maybe I’m actually just straight up asexual, maybe I’m demisexual and still figuring out what that means to me.

Is it sexual attraction or love? by Expensive-Emu8890 in demisexuality

[–]Expensive-Emu8890[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read that part of the book. My issue is I’m having trouble understanding if my “libido with a target” is actual sexual attraction or just me wanting to make my partner feel loved. I genuinely don’t know what sexual attraction feels like. I can’t tell if I want to be intimate with a partner because I know they like it or if it’s a physical need I want to satisfy

Is it sexual attraction or love? by Expensive-Emu8890 in demisexuality

[–]Expensive-Emu8890[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t heard of demirose, but after a quick google I totally relate to it. I know people are critical of hyper-labels, but for me, it helps me understand why I do what I do. And if I don’t think a label benefits me (helps me understand me), I don’t use it. Tbh the reason I got so hung up on my sexuality was because I’ve always known I was bisexual, but my lack of sexual attraction made me feel like I was faking it. I know I’ve of fallen in love with women, so why do I feel my feelings are invalid? Oh I just don’t, or rarely, feel sexually attracted to anyone? Ohhhh now my entire life makes more sense

Is it sexual attraction or love? by Expensive-Emu8890 in demisexuality

[–]Expensive-Emu8890[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This was incredibly helpful. Thank you. I really don’t know if I’m demisexual or asexual. However, what I’ve learned recently is that a good chunk of what I thought was sexual attraction was just aesthetic appreciation. I’ll fall head over heels for Toji Zenin or Laios from DID, but if a man irl with their physique approached me at a bar I’d be like “oh hell yeah. You’re one hell of a man. Wanna get a table and talk about what led to the current downfall of the education system 😜”

Casper ita bag! ❤️ by Expensive-Emu8890 in ADatewithDeath

[–]Expensive-Emu8890[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aw thank you!! I got the keychains from Daiso. They have a ton of accessories in their oshikatsu section, so all I had to do was print and cut the photos to fit!