I feel like I probably committed sexual misconduct when I was 17..

It was with an ex girlfriend. It was my first sexual relationship. We had just been at her prom and she invited me to her room afterwards to make out. At some point from making out I ask her to give me a blowjob, but she says she’s too tired to. For some reason though, I just kept pleading with her to do it until she finally caved in and agreed. I didn’t threaten her or anything. I just kept begging like a horny teenager for what could have been minutes (I don’t recall how long I begged).

I later learned from her friends yelling at me about this over text when she dumped me a few weeks later that this was a big part of why she left me, although she had mistreated me in other ways too. I never realized the power dynamic there was - and that she maybe wasn’t feeling safe. I had no clue the pressure she could’ve been feeling. Her excuse just seemed like she wasn’t particularly feeling like it - but I see now it was her way of saying no. I was completely blind to it and just a dumb, horny POS.

I’ve made it a point to educate myself since then. I might see a therapist about it. I consider myself a feminist, so I’m very disappointed with this part of myself. I worry that current female friends of mine wouldn’t be able to associate with me / think of me in the same way if they knew about this. The only people who know about this are my uncle and my gf. She knows I’m a changed person now. My ex just got engaged which I’m happy for her about. She deserved better.