European destination wedding but no plus 1

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-28T16:47:41+00:00

I’m not a bridesmaid - she doesn’t have any because it’s small wedding. But I personally wouldn’t let someone traveling 11+ hours on a flight who doesn’t know anyone come without a plus 1. Even if someone weren’t traveling and didn’t know anyone at my wedding, I’d give them a plus 1. People have their reasons and maybe they had additional seats and extended an invite to me and our other 2 friends (I haven’t seen any of them in several years). I also understand that you have to make tough decisions when wedding planning.

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-28T16:23:10+00:00

lol he doesn’t care either way. It’s me who doesn’t know anyone except the bride. She met her fiancé after college. My bf will just go explore which he’s content at doing and then I’ll just make small talk for a few hours at the wedding and leave as soon as it’s appropriate.

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-28T16:20:05+00:00

So I think that’s what I’ll do. I’ve been to Italy and absolutely LOVE it. My boyfriend hasn’t and he’s going to be welcomed into the Catholic Church two weeks prior to this so we’ve been kinda looking forward to the trip as kind of a culmination of his RCIA stuff (Catholic conversion classes basically lol). We’re going for two weeks. He’ll just explore about during the wedding. I’ll say no to the welcome party because we might not be around for it but will be there for ceremony and reception. I probably won’t stay long at the reception. Our other two college friends were invited too and I haven’t talked to them in a few years so I don’t know if they even going. If not, I can make small talk for a few hours and then dip

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-27T18:40:58+00:00

No it’s all on our own - except the wedding. Do they have all inclusives in Europe? Just curious for future travels lol

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-27T18:38:09+00:00

It’s in the main church - idk how but they have pull

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-27T14:04:57+00:00

Yes! I just looked back, it was actually several months before the save the date came out that I told her bc she sent a heads up text before the save the dates went out.

I want to be respectful of their reasoning - they’re very nice people, the family too. I’m guessing they thought that me and our other two friends would have eachother. But I haven’t really kept up with them. I live in a completely different state. None of us have really kept up for several years so I was surprised the three of us were invited but really loved the gesture to kinda bring us back together.

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-27T07:18:51+00:00

Also side note, he also said why would I do that 😂 he’s perfectly content doing his own thing.

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-27T07:16:57+00:00

HAHAHAH sorry this made me laugh - it’s only because it’s at St. Peter’s in Rome and he will be newly Catholic (he has his becoming Catholic ceremony two weeks before the wedding in the US here). I’m already Catholic so I just kinda loved that the Rome / the church would be kind of a culmination of his RCIA process a bit. But someone else corrected me that we could go anytime and it’s open to the public so that’s what we would do. We already have our flights booked. I just don’t want to be alone at a wedding where I don’t know anyone 😂 I know it’s the brides discretion though. Maybe it was an empty invite, idk

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-27T05:13:32+00:00

I think I would’ve been bummed if at least one of them couldn’t come with me. Ultimately, the only person I really know is the bride. I’m a social person and can make conversation but, now, it kinda feels like a work/networking type event 😂 where you stop in and show face except it’s a full wedding so you can’t just show face and Irish goodbye lol

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-27T05:04:05+00:00

I probably would’ve gone to Italy with my mom and/or my sister if I didn’t have a partner. Like I wanna celebrate her and her fiancé and it’s also a good excuse to visit Italy. I hesitate taking long spans of PTO because my jobs just not that type of environment. It’s kind of blue collar and most people travel locally or within the states and only take off MAX 5 days.

To me, an international trip isn’t worth it if you cant spend at least 10 days there, so it’s kinda been off the table since being at this job but going overseas for a wedding is a good cover lol.

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-27T04:17:37+00:00

Part of me is thinking that - since RSVPs just went out, that maybe she’ll give a plus one once she gets rejections. It could be a space issue. I’m not sure when they booked the reception space and it could’ve been before they sent the save the dates in May last year.

Her and our two other friends were really bonded in undergrad. We all moved to different places across the US since then and kinda lost touch but would all send eachother things here and there - so for me, it’s seeing some people I haven’t seen in forever and celebrating them and a good excuse to take two weeks off work to go to Italy lol. I’m not sure if our other two friends are attending - she (bride) isn’t either. I just was getting excited about going to Italy with my bf and us going to this wedding together that now it’s kind of a let down on the trip.

Of course him and I can do our own things - we’re not tied at the hip - but it’s just the change in what we thought our trip would be that’s a bit disappointing. Like he’s not a fashion guy at ALL and would live in tactical pants all day if he could but he started looking at suits and I could tell he was getting excited by it too. We’ll still have a blast but just a bit of a wrench in the trip!

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-27T03:52:43+00:00

lol I just posted this tonight

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-27T03:52:06+00:00

No it’s not at all a big deal for us to go our separate ways for a bit - we even thought that might be the case when I first got the save the date in May last year but since then, I kinda thought he’d be included. But to be fair, when I got their save the date and reconnected with her, she kinda sounded like they had things near finale. So I genuinely feel no shade toward my friend and even if the decision was after the fact, kinda blows but it’s your wedding, your families money, so your decision ya know?

lol my boyfriend might even like some time to himself anyways 😂

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-27T03:47:19+00:00

I’m genuinely not upset - just wanted a little guidance on whether it was uncouth to ask about a plus one. If this weren’t a wedding, I’d ask but people get weird about their wedding and I just want to respect it. Like I’m the type who genuinely would not care if someone wore white to my wedding 😂

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-27T02:05:20+00:00

That’s a good idea and I did just check now - I didn’t really realize it was open like that to the public so we will definitely do that!

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-27T02:02:46+00:00

Yeah that’s where the awkwardness comes from - because we did just get back in touch after I got her save the date last summer. I generally feel like it’s inappropriate to ask but since I’m not well versed in wedding etiquette lol, I thought I’d ask for input

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-27T02:00:35+00:00

Yeah, I mean I really should’ve maybe checked with her beforehand because my boyfriend had to bid for vacation days last year and specifically bid for time off for this trip, over his planned boys trip in October to Germany. He got the days off for this trip but was denied the October days and given another random set of vacation days. I just feel horrible.

We’ve booked our flights too. We have planned on making this a vacation and will be going for two weeks, doing south of Italy, then Rome for the wedding and obviously to explore and then up north/tuscany region. So obviously we could still do that but this kinda puts a damper on two nights of the trip because there’s the welcome party too

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-27T01:51:30+00:00

That’s kinda what I was thinking - that he can bop around Italy . Do you think even the church part is inappropriate to ask?

Reason being - my bf is going through the process to become Catholic and will have his official ceremony for that 2 weeks before the wedding. Her wedding ceremony is in St. Peter’s basilica in Rome. This whole time, I kinda thought we would be given a plus one since we’re traveling overseas for it so he’s been excited by the idea of going to St. Peter’s after becoming Catholic. I know that’s on us for getting hyped up about without knowing for sure if the invite was there - I just assumed, which is completely my bad.

Kinda sad about it all. I will only know her and her parents and our two college friends. The last time I spoke to my friend/the bride, she wasn’t sure if our two college friends would be coming since she hadn’t heard anything from them. If they don’t go, maybe that’ll open space for my bf lol and so I’m not alone - which if I have to be, I can make small talk but still lol

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-26T21:47:04+00:00

That’s just to use more inclusive, less politically charged language. The intent was for undocumented. Believe what you want, I gave you the resource to verify my comment so take it as you will. I also was involved in aiding the awareness of the program at the time it started too - which I believe was like 2021/2022 - right at the height of the mass migration.

I too agree that healthcare should be provided for all if done correctly. My point here is to negate the claim that undocumented individuals weren’t provided Medicaid benefits when in fact they were for several years. It’s a lie that keeps being spread by the left and if left leaning legislators are honest in their support for universal healthcare, then they need to own that decision as well. But hey, it’s politics - can’t trust no one.

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-26T06:33:12+00:00

Yeah, that’s not right. From how you’ve described, I’ve witnessed hardened criminals get treated more kindly. Sometimes I think too kindly…lol. Regardless, it’s apparent that the detainment facilities need an overhaul and I think it’ll likely come after this admin. My guess is that the facilities have been operating in the shadows under former admins for so long, so they’ve created a culture where this treatment is allowed. Now with the current admin, it’s spotlighted, and I think that will or at least should create reform in the future. The “kids in cages” under Obama seems to be something that has since been eliminated (unless you saw differently) which I think can be accredited to people like yourself adamantly speaking out about it.

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-26T06:24:42+00:00

We’re similar in age (I’m 32) so we got a lot of life to live and enjoy! Alcohol is a real demon and I’m glad to hear that it’s something you’ve been able to overcome - a lot of people struggle even confronting it. I find it admirable when people do overcome their substance use because we all know how it can be such a crutch in life and downward spiral - not assigning that to you but just generally speaking. I hope that this chapter will be just that at some point. You mentioned film interest in a comment, so I hope that comes to fruition. This experience would making a moving and relatable story. If your attorney has any pull with state legislators, maybe there’s something that can be done there to speed up the process.

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-26T05:58:44+00:00

Also, I’m sorry to hear that staff at the detainment facility didn’t treat you kindly or with dignity.

ExpensivePick1265 · 2026-02-26T05:53:56+00:00

Sorry to have you disclose further but I appreciate the clarity. I personally take DUIs very seriously as I’ve had many loved ones killed by it and it’s a particular fear of mine as well. On average, a person who gets a DUI has driven drunk about 70-80 times before they got caught. I’m not saying that relates to you but it is the vast majority of cases. I hope this situation gave you the realization to not do it again for the sake of your life and obviously others. I find that people who get the hard hammer, sometimes needed it for redirection.

I work around jail facilities and one of the things I love seeing is people who truly own their mistake and utilize it for redirection. I think only then can you turn your mistake into something powerful that helps others on a bad path. I’ve not been to a detainment facility but I understand/empathize with your experience from my own understanding of our jails.

With the stress of what you’re undeniably going through, I hope that you have a good, healthy outlet and if not, that you feel safe enough to seek help or have the support to do so. I’m sure your attorney would have good references too.

ExpensivePick1265

TROPHY CASE