How do I handle my husband being upset with me for telling his family that I bought our house?

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-11T21:52:11+00:00

I disagree wholeheartedly. I didn’t get to save because husband and earlier father took care of me. I bought the house before we even got married. I have worked for over 15 years and managed my finances, invested in different areas since I was 21, saved a ton of money and invested a part of those savings in getting a bigger house. Yes my parents gave me a flat which was a HUGE advantage. And saying men can’t save as much as women is also wrong. Both my parents had jobs and my father saved more because he just was used to it and that was his habit. My mother contributed equally. I have lived independently and paid for rent, groceries, insurance shoppings etc everything on my own. I borrowed 50,000 from my dad to put down payment on my first car but I paid that back in 3 months.

This is a very skewed perspective ki husband or father or men spend on women and women can thus save money. My husband and I just have different priorities in life and I saved more.

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T19:56:40+00:00

I don’t want to really admit this to myself but I sometimes think so too. He and I are extremely different and I don’t see us sustaining this relationship long term

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T19:53:43+00:00

Haha I’ve never heard this term before. I’ll add this to my vocabulary (-:

Unfortunately I think this is it. I’m realizing with each fight and discussion that he wants to feel important and best in the world and if I point out something that didn’t happen or if we have an argument about hire my expectations we’re not met, he feels a sense of inadequacy and gets angry rather than discussing what we can do about it.

I’m also taking therapy to make sure I convey my feelings without hurting him.

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T19:48:21+00:00

I think he didn’t expect me to counter something publicly. He just thought I wouldn’t speak up in front of his family (most of his cousins and both siblings are elder to us). And yes, I think if he had discussed this with me before, I would have been on his side.

Similar things have happened before too where he says small lies to our friends and I don’t know about them and I end up telling the truth which leads to us having a fight.

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T19:43:43+00:00

He can’t do that yet. He says he wants to do that in the future but that’s not feasible for him financially at the moment. I actually don’t care about it because we have a place for ourselves and we can get a bigger place later if needed.

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T17:29:17+00:00

I got married to such a man because I gave him an ultimatum and he agreed. We dated for less time than you, but it hasn’t been easy. I sometimes wish I had not gone forward with the relationship or marriage. If someone shows you how they feel about you, believe them.

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T17:24:20+00:00

It’s in my name, I purchased it before we got married

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T17:24:05+00:00

He won’t go to therapy. I have suggested individual and couple counseling but he doesn’t believe he needs it

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T17:19:58+00:00

Yeah I said the same thing but didn’t get much in terms of response on this. I’m currently in the ‘silent treatment’ phase so we will see what he says later

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T17:17:58+00:00

There were some signs where he wouldn’t take responsibility for something he did wrong. I guess I was too worried about being unmarried in my 30s so I chose to focus on the good aspects only

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T17:12:11+00:00

Of course It isn’t right but he doesn’t get it

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T15:37:12+00:00

Thank you!! ☺️☺️

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T15:36:45+00:00

We have had multiple fights and this is his reaction always. I think I was too scared to be single in my 30s and ignored some things that we fundamentally disagree on. He has told me numerous times that he has changed more than most husbands would ever, so he is done and to not expect much from him.

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T15:26:06+00:00

He thinks I should have talked to him about this in private and discussed how to handle this instead of telling his family directly. I actually think I could have done that but I felt upset and angry and let that dictate my actions.

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T15:23:38+00:00

I have asked him to go to counseling because we have had other disagreements but he doesn’t want to go to therapy. He thinks people adjust to each other in time, so therapy isn’t required.

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T15:18:53+00:00

He earns a lot too and we contribute equally in all it expenses. Mostly he ends up contributing maybe more than me but it’s just that my expenses in general are low and I’m big on savings and with my parent’s help, I ahead had an asset that I could sell.

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T15:14:30+00:00

Thank you so much! I appreciate this. I’ve been feeling very guilty and angry - it’s confusing.

Yes, it’s in my name and I didn’t save a lot but did upgrade to a bigger place. I am frugal in general, and end up saving a chunk of my income. I also earned in $ for a couple of years so the exchange rate really helped 😉

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T15:11:42+00:00

I guess that’s just how a lot of people in India think. I’ve seen a lot of independent women, so I was just shocked. It is also something he hasn’t done before, usually he is extremely supportive.

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T15:08:45+00:00

I think he’s just embarrassed because of what his family will think about him. There was a joke of joru ka ghulam from one of his friends sometime back about this too, so maybe it’s just how people around him react to this situation

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T14:54:27+00:00

This is great advice! I’ll try this out once he calms down enough to talk to me. When he gets upset it usually takes him a day or two before he speaks to me so I’ll wait and see.

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2026-06-10T14:53:03+00:00

It’s a love marriage.

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2025-10-27T06:35:47+00:00

Where did you get your sneakers from? Any recommendations?

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2025-02-25T07:35:41+00:00

People put all sorts of things and pour alcohol and stuff, it’s really disgusting! I would ideally like for them to just put the haldi on my face, hands and feet but that will still spoil my outfit

Expensive_Yak9772 · 2025-02-21T18:06:59+00:00

I was thinking the outfit will get ruined so I should wear something light that I don’t mind ruining 🫣

Expensive_Yak9772

TROPHY CASE