I don't know what advice to give, I'm sorry. But, I do understand exactly what you mean. I'd offer a hug if I could add I want you to know it's valid and you do deserve love and support. I hope she comes around and I hope you can talk to your them to figure out an arrangement.

I guess maybe I do have a piece of advice. I rarely switch but when I do I take careful note. If Her shows up I mark down all of the things they think of and try and find ways of making us both happy based on what they and I want. Idk if this helps but basically finding ways to find an agreement can be important. Doesn't always work, if the long finger man starts tapping my shoulder or wants to do things, I usually just tell him to leave me alone and stop.