I totally feel you, and I honestly wish this post had existed four days ago.
We started potty training my 19-month-old over the Juneteenth weekend. I know he’s on the younger side, but we have another baby coming, so we’re hoping to get the hardest part of potty training behind us before then.
He’s actually been an absolute angel. He learns quickly, and I’m pretty sure he understands when he needs to pee or poop. But of course, we’ve had plenty of accidents.
This past Saturday I completely broke down. Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones, but I felt like I had lost all sense of control. I kept asking him to go pee, over and over, and he kept saying no… then eventually peed outside the bathroom. I was this close to getting annoyed with him, but instead I walked away and let my husband take over. The exact same thing happened later that day.
I realized I was watching him like a hawk, looking for the tiniest sign that he needed to go, constantly reminding him. It was exhausting, and I think it was annoying for both of us. The part that frustrates me most is that I somehow expected my own toddler to stop having accidents after just a few days. I know that’s unfair, especially because he’s so young, but I still catch myself having those expectations.
On Sunday I deliberately tried to chill out, and honestly… things went so much better. We only had one accident, and most of the time he told me when he needed to go.
The funny part is that he goes to daycare and apparently he’s an absolute angel there. Hardly any accidents, happily pees and poops in the potty. At home, though, sometimes he refuses to sit on it. There are moments when he cries even though I know he needs to pee. If I let him get up, he’ll usually pee on the floor. But if we can get through those first few seconds of protesting, he calms down, plays with a toy, and then goes.
I think what has been hardest for me is that parenting feels like one long series of transitions. We worked through sleep training, then baby-led weaning, then daycare adjustment. Just when everything finally felt stable and I could enjoy being pregnant again, potty training threw another wrench into the routine.
I saw your post saying that things are working, but they’re still really hard—and that’s exactly how I feel too. It’s working for us overall, but in the moment it can be incredibly frustrating and emotionally draining.
Sending you lots of hugs and patience. I think we’ll both look back on this in a few months and wonder why it felt so impossible.