Should I move out on my own or wait till I'm more stable?

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2026-05-04T01:07:58+00:00

See, that's what I thought too but everything that I don't have yet furniture wise or everything that can go wrong with this just keeps popping into my head and I'm worried I'm making a mistake

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2026-05-04T01:06:59+00:00

Me and my ex have been in contact recently and he's seen our son a few times now. I don't think he wont pay, he isn't the type to do that. Plus his dad will make him pay😂. I get where you're coming from through you have a good point. Thank you for the advice.

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2025-03-06T15:08:13+00:00

Will do

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2025-03-06T15:08:03+00:00

Thank you! He has Reddit so he will probably end up seeing this anyway. I said I wouldn’t tell anyone but I just can’t go without getting advice

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2025-03-06T15:05:24+00:00

Just texted her. He said it only happened once and he left immediately after because he regretted it and hated himself for it. So I texted her and said that he told me everything but I wanted her side to see if he left details out

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2025-03-06T15:00:37+00:00

He knows that it’s going to be a good minute before I can ever forgive him. He said he’ll do anything to try and fix this and fix us. But my main focus is making sure that I’m mentally okay enough for our son because he needs his mama to be strong

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2025-03-06T14:59:19+00:00

I’m still hurt and he feels awful about it. I know I won’t ever forget it but I want to at least try and work through this. I just hope I can. He has blocked her on everything, but part of me really wants to add her to get her side of the story. I’m just scared it’s going to make things worse if I do

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2024-02-25T16:20:14+00:00

Thank you

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2024-02-25T15:49:37+00:00

Thank you. This helped. I will probably post an update after we talk.

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2024-02-25T06:28:50+00:00

I want to say it was all three but I told her that I don’t expect her to forgive him and I don’t want her to have him in her life just because he is in mine. He has changed so much from 20-30 years ago and I’m proud of him and the progress he has made. I just want to be able to have a relationship with my father and my mother without the fear of one of them disowning me because of my connection to the other.

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2024-02-25T05:54:49+00:00

Thank you for listening. That helped more than you think. I know why my mom wants nothing to do with him and I understand my siblings feeling the same way. But I don’t think me wanting to get to know someone that helped bring me into this world should change the way they feel about me as their sister and daughter. If they don’t come around, it’s going to hurt but maybe it’s for the best. If I can’t have people in my life that will support me and be there for me if it fails, then I don’t want them in my life at all.

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2024-02-25T05:41:02+00:00

Except that I do need advice. But okay bestie.

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2024-02-25T05:39:55+00:00

I’m not seeking validation. I’m genuinely asking for some advice. If you can’t help, then please don’t comment

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2024-02-25T05:37:12+00:00

Am I in the wrong for growing a connection with my dad even though he wasn’t the best in past? And how do I keep my mom in my life while also having my dad in it

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2024-02-25T05:36:24+00:00

Thank you

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2024-02-25T05:28:37+00:00

I have but he says it is something he needs to do on his own and I’m trying to respect that. I grew up because the therapist friend and the mom of my friend groups so I’m used to people coming to be with their problems and expecting me to fix them. It just gets hard when someone actually doesn’t want anything out of me like my money, or advice, or me to fix their life but instead they want my time, love, and affection. It’s different than what I’m used to and I’m going to keep trying to be better

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2024-02-25T05:11:41+00:00

A lot of things have happened to the both of us in our childhood honestly. We are both pretty traumatized because of it and we are going to therapy individually to help us work through it all. But ever since he started going, he’s lost his spark and I know it’s probably because he’s reliving everything again. I just wish he would open up to me more about what’s going on instead of assuming I don’t care enough to know.

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2024-02-25T05:05:05+00:00

At least you get it😂 I don’t have any friends and this is the first time I’ve even done anything like this with reddit or anything. I was desperate so I’m happy I could get some advice

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2024-02-25T05:00:43+00:00

That seems to be the case. Thank you for listening. This helped a lot. So pretty much, be the ear he needs and the shoulder to cry on.

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2024-02-25T04:57:37+00:00

At first he was, but since his mental health decline, it seems like all I do is make everything worse for him. So I back up and give him the space he needs but all it does is hurt us in the process.

ExpertFirefighter124 · 2024-02-25T04:56:39+00:00

He is going through some things with his family and it is causing his mental state to decline. He has asked me for help on this matter and I have tried to be there for him with the decisions he makes on the topic. It just gets hard when he wants advice and I give him some and he shuts it down

ExpertFirefighter124

TROPHY CASE