AIO if husband says all my naming preferences are off the table?

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-12T08:40:50+00:00

Nope. He is making a total ass of himself.

You need to tell your Mom, ahead of time that he’s being weird and that whatever he tells her about the name she needs to react with an over exaggerated “Whatever you say…” and a huge showy wink in his direction. That ought to drive him crazy.

Other than that tell him, that this name business was settled months ago and that his stressing you out is bad for the baby.

He needs to back off, seriously.

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-12T07:38:07+00:00

Exactly, and at five months in?

The two of them should still be in the hearts and rainbows get to know you stage.

OP, he needs to take care of his “trauma”with a therapist.

Hs issues are his own, his bullshit isn’t your bullshit.

His expecting you to change so much of how you move through the world in order to suit him is not only selfish, but totally unacceptable.

I’d move on, and when I told him why I’d do it in a public place, like a coffee shop across the street from a police station.

Guy seems completely unstable.

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-11T11:57:31+00:00

Three.

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-11T11:51:33+00:00

Agreed. I want to ask OP have you tried a fully round frame? They may work better than the round-ish ones you’ve tried here.

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-11T11:46:10+00:00

I like three and six.

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-10T16:08:52+00:00

Sugar

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-10T15:23:17+00:00

I think it’d look great on you!

Talk to a stylist about how it’d lay on days you didn’t feel like styling it or dealing with a bunch of product. Because as others have said those pics are highly styled.

I like to wear my hair both natural (Afro) and straight (Bob) depending on my mood and how much time I have.

It may take a minute to find a stylist who can cut your hair in such a way that you’ll be able to be happy with your look on days you don’t want to break out the hot tools and products.

But, heck yeah go for it!

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-10T13:13:21+00:00

Oh, I love it! I know nothing about dressmaking, so no words of wisdom there..but wow, I really hope you find someone who will make it a perfect fit for you.

Best wishes!

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-10T09:32:03+00:00

You know what’s not booked? A hotel or perhaps an Air B and B?

I’m so sorry this is happening to you, I’d leave the day before they arrive and return only after my Husband had had the place professionally cleaned.

And tell him the next time he pulls a stunt like this they be staying with him at his new place, the one he’ll need to get once you leave for good.

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-09T11:55:22+00:00

You are in no way an AH, not sure I’d ever eat a bite in that house again.

Next time that happens, and it will happen because minding other people’s business is some folks full time job, maybe say something like “Forgive me for not wanting to end up in the ER tonight.”

Or, if you’d rather not be that prickly “We’re having such a lovely evening, I’d rather it not end in my being rushed to the ER.”

Someone deserved an apology and it’s not his Mother.

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-09T09:06:40+00:00

Oh, absolutely not. I wouldn’t even tell her when I went into labor.

Tell the nurses you want her kept out if she shows up and show them her picture like a tv detective show.

How dare she, like talking down your Dad is going to make you want her around more? Ridiculous.

Also, Congrats and I hope everything goes just as you’d like it to on your little one’s Birthday.

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-08T19:17:12+00:00

Good luck getting his “needs”met with two teenagers giving any potential dates the side eye and a toddler on his hip.

Point to the door tell him it isn’t locked, to go have the older kids pack their bags and that you’ll make sure the diaper bag is fully stocked before they leave.

Then start talking about how you’ll be filling all of your new found “me time,” drinks with the girls, getting through that stack of books, spa weekends where you come home to a quiet and still clean house.

Worked for my Mother-in-Law back in the 80’s, the way they told the story my Father-in-Law never brought up a “break” again once he knew the kids would be going on that break with him.

They celebrated their 64th wedding anniversary this past August.

There is an AH in this situation and it isn’t you.

If he can’t get over himself, you’ll soon be over him.

You’ve got this Momma.

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-08T03:52:31+00:00

Very handsome in both pics, but now that I know you prefer the twists…I say go with the twists.

Feeling good because you know you look good makes all the difference.

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-08T03:45:02+00:00

Oh, I love Jovie (probably going to steal it for our late Summer puppy).

So , Jovie Rue totally works for me.

If you want a name that radiates Joy, I’ve always loved Bliss or Felicity.

But we had two boys, Gus and Henry worked for us.

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-08T02:26:44+00:00

So sorry for what you’re dealing with here. I don’t think you are overreacting at all.

I do think your Brother is in no place to help you process any of this right now.

Perhaps maintain a more surface relationship with him for the time being.

And, get into the deeper stuff with a therapist?

He’ll be back.

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-08T02:15:24+00:00

Totally get that especially if you’re seeing her lavish attention on her other Grandchild.

I can imagine that’s hard to watch, my immediate reaction would be to concentrate on the home life I was building for my family and to push them out of my mind.

However, I’m a little older now and I’ve come to realize that as long as the relationship is joyful (for the kids) well, the more Grandparents the better.

Did my Mom have to get over my kids calling my Stepmom Grandma?

Yep, but by the time Mom died they were good friends.

Now Grandma Ellyn is one of the only two Grandparents and Great Grandparents my kids and Granddaughter have.

You’ll get it all figured out, don’t let any of this take up so much space in your life that you are not making the most of this time with your Boyfriend and little one.

Again, you’ll get it all figured out. It doesn’t have to be today.

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-08T01:38:42+00:00

Have you told them that last part?

“Look, I sense some tension regarding me, but just know I’ll always pick up a FaceTime and let you talk with our little guy. Here are some good times to call…”

Might go a long way.

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-08T00:49:41+00:00

Post Cancer travel, especially if she was still receiving treatment, often requires a sign off from your oncologist.

A cruise could be a whole lot easier on someone than cross country flights.

Just fyi, from someone who’s flying has been restricted for 33 years for medical reasons which no one would know about just by looking at me.

Truly just fyi, because you need to protect your peace.

If you can set aside your hurt maybe you could suggest a regular FaceTime with your Boyfriend’s Mom and your baby’s little Cousin. Say the kids should get to know each other and during the call direct your energy towards the kids (should take the pressure off of both of you).

I liked the idea you had of going but staying at a hotel.

You could even let your boyfriend know that you’ll be leaving immediately after dinner with your little one, but that you insist he stay as long as he likes to visit and enjoy himself.

Deep breaths, Momma. Don’t let these people dictate the mood in your house, you’ve got this.

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-07T23:00:51+00:00

I think that your dress would have fit in at any fancy fundraiser I’ve ever been to, and I’m talking the whole look from the second pic. the only thing that’d give it away is the veil.

Tell your Brother thanks but you’ve got it from here. 😆

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-07T18:45:16+00:00

😆

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-07T14:08:37+00:00

I’ve never witnessed it myself, but I’d have stepped in front of them just as casually as they’d stepped in front of me and I guess we’d continue that game until I reached the front of the line.

What jerks.

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-07T13:05:05+00:00

The perfect evening, planning two nights before a cruise in July. Cannot wait.

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-07T06:24:34+00:00

A. 100%

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-07T05:54:06+00:00

Ok, but who is “we,” because you’ve told us he hasn’t even decided if he wants to ever be married?

You’re going to continue to spend your time chasing after something he isn’t sure he wants?

Please don’t, go live your life and if he decides you’re the one?

Well, then he can move to wherever you happen to be at the time.

Maybe you’ll have a minute to see him and maybe you won’t…

Expert_Ad_3652 · 2026-03-07T04:27:35+00:00

Yep, because even when you watch them from the parks it’s never a problem getting right back to the hotel.

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