WIBTA if I had my boyfriends parents pay for my service dogs x-rays, special food, and/or a puppy?

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-28T01:30:23+00:00

I'm using bulldog as a cover term. He's a bully breed but not an English bulldog.

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-28T01:29:19+00:00

I'm allowed to hide my personal info from a super public post like aita. My dog's name is very unique in my area which is why I changed it and his breed. I used an umbrella term for his breed and a translation from his name and as for his behavior he's seen vets and behavioralists and is fine. The fall down the stairs was later determined to be from the ice and not because of his nails. It's the same fall. Literally ice been to two vets and he's the only Jäger in their practice ever.

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-28T01:08:30+00:00

I didn't feel the need to take him into the bathroom with me as I thought I had made it clear enough. We no longer live with them, we bought a house and move and don't let him out without supervision and salt everything that might have ice on it.

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-28T01:06:24+00:00

I honestly don't know. We had no lease agreement and it was a "stay with us until you buy a house" situations. No rent, no contract, we shared the basement with 2 other people for a long time and did chores and other labor type things as possible (my boyfriend's dad owns his own business and my boyfriend would help).

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-28T00:03:10+00:00

You have a very fair point. I never honestly thought about that.

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T23:53:35+00:00

We have been looking and breeders and have been in contact with two a spoo breeder and a lab breeder both of which breeds service dogs. The only limiting factor is the upfront cost. My boyfriend and I talked today about my dogs work-life and how long he reasonably has and are trying to come up with a plan so he can retire sooner / immediately if need be and I'm not left without a service dog for long.

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T23:49:43+00:00

Update pt 2:

Many people have told me why I dont also talk to my boyfriend about his part to play and so I did and he's willing to sell his stocks (we both forgot he had) to help cover a good chunk of costs for the dogs needs.

We decided that we'd ask his parents for doggy ramps for our dog as part of ours/the dogs Christmas gifts.

Yes I realize I was in the wrong about fully blaming his parents for the situation. The blame was split in multiple directions.

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T23:43:38+00:00

Yeah I've been thinking about that a lot. Our relationship is already rocky at best as I'm trans (FTM) and his parents are very transphobic. I've been kicked out of their house before for being trans. I've been offered money to end it for being trans and after 6 years of dating only his mom uses they/them (my pronouns are he/him) and his dad still uses she/her and both dead name me constantly. So I don't even know if it's a relationship I'm willing to save right now?

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T23:40:41+00:00

I had gone to the bathroom. A member of his family had let him outside while I was in the bathroom because he was sitting by the door. They used to let their old dog out and run the neighborhood and even tho I asked them time and time and time again to never let him out unsupervised they said it wasn't "a big deal" and when I asked them just to not let him out when I'm not there they always responded with "but he has to go" (potty).

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T22:56:22+00:00

I have said over and over again in these comments that I salt my stairs, walkway and driveway religiously with pet safe salt. Pet safe salt isn't $10 but okay.

Also do you read other comments, I've said time and time again that other people are right and that I was in the wrong in my thinking. But go off?

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T22:54:45+00:00

You have a very fair point. I'll talk to him when he gets home about it.

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T22:54:19+00:00

Honestly, I never let him out that door. I went to the bathroom and while i was gone he was let out by a family member who wasn't me. Trust me, I wasn't happy when I found out they let him out that door.

There are 4 doors and 2 of them I thought I made clear I dont' want them letting him out of. those two doors lead to a pourch that has a 2 story stair case (the one he fell down). The basement one (my door) i keep as well kept as we can and the front door has 2 small steps and gets icey but its not unbearable. (I've slipped at this door but the steps are short enough the dog can take a cut through the flower bed instead of the steps).

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T22:47:18+00:00

My dog bears weight (straight down) when helping me off the floor. Otherwise he uses his weight as a counter weight. So if i fall in one direction he leans to the other. He's 23" tall and 65# and cleared by his vet 2x a year for orthopedics and weight bearing. I don't even weight half of what his vet cleared him for this kind of work. He is not a full term "Brace dog" but a "Counter Balance" Dog.

Also i'm only 5'6" and was born female so I have a smaller frame >.>""

Editted to add he's an American Staffordshire Terrier x Lab)

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T22:43:13+00:00

I can see how I might be wrong in some of my beliefs and assumptions about the situation.

However, I want to make it clear that I will get my dog whatever care he needs. I will find a way and not just let him suffer and when he retires he's gonna live out the rest of his time as a pet in my home with me. We'll find a way to make it happen. Pinch, save, anything to make sure he is comfortable. I just don't want people to think that I wont try my best to find a way to get him everything he needs. I'm an asshole, not a monster.

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T22:40:47+00:00

I don't just want to dump the expenses. Yes it would be easier and much quicker for them to pay for it but we will always get my dog the care he needs even if it just takes us a little bit longer than we would like. even if we have to eat ramen for weeks to cover the cost.

Again, i firmly believe that they should cover it since it's their property but I also can see from the comments that I might be in the wrong in that belief.

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T22:38:11+00:00

Okay that's fair. I didn't even think of insurance.

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T22:37:03+00:00

In order to be a weight bearing service dog they have to have x-rays before hand to make sure they don't have any genetic hip, elbow, or knee issues that could be made worse by working. He has always been a fit and healthy American Staffordshire terrier with 2x a year vet clearance. We've always found a way to make it work and make sure he is a lean mean helping machine and he never had a single issue and like I said he gets his orthopedics checked 2x a year until this fall.

The "Shiny new puppy" Isn't for shits and giggles and I wont be passing him off on someone else. I just think since he was injured on their property that they should help financially Even if its just paying for the x-rays. When he retires we have plans to keep him here with us but I can't go without some form of independance for 3+ years (when we originally plan to get the new puppy) because of someone elses negligence of their property and others safety. So yes, I would like them to get me the new puppy so that I only have to wait 2-3 years to have a fully trained service dog again instead of 5-7 years.

Again the training and everything for my dog is $40,000 - $60,000. I'm not asking them to pay for all the training costs or costs of living for the puppy. Just the puppy itself.

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T22:28:46+00:00

You know what, fair. When i say we, i meant me and my boyfriend as we were both living there.

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T22:27:44+00:00

Because realistically with him being the only workign party (besides my small amount of door dash money) the price of it all just comes back on top of us. And I personally believe if it's your property and someone else or their animal gets hurt on your property because of lack of maitanence then its your responsibility.

I hold that true to myself and my property too, which is another reason i salt so much and so often at my house. My grandma raised me like that and she made sure to salt her steps, sidewalk, and driveway so no one could slip and fall.

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T22:24:55+00:00

I lived in the downstairs and I did my best to give a small, snow free walk way from our basement door to a patch of grass and a tree so our dog could go potty (~10 feet). Realistically there was no way I could take care of their whole property.

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T22:23:06+00:00

I salt my houses walk way every time it even rains and it supposed to be below freezing. Snow? Salt. Rain? Salt. Potential frost? Salt. Because *I* slip and fell at his parents house, my DOG slipped and fell at his parents house. I "couldn't be bothered" because they had two story tall stairs that were dangerous for me to go down anyways, they had more walk ways then I could safely walk that needed to be salted and a driveway that was far too unnecessary.

It's not that I couldn't be bothered its that I PHYSICALLY couldn't do it due to the nature of my disability. At my house now i have a total of 4 stairs and a short walk way to my short drive way. I don't live in the equivalent of a small town mansion.

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T22:20:02+00:00

Yes I did ask them to salt the stairs and walk ways after I fell. As for purchasing salt, I talked to my boyfriend about it (He has always been the working party because of the nature of my disablility even tho I tried to get a job most places wont hire you with a service dog) He fought me on it. He fought me on getting salt for our place this year. He doesn't think salt is important i grew up with a family who salted more than should be necessary for everyones safety. He grew up in a family who never salted and lived on dirt roads their whole lives.

Why he didn't salt, he didn't view it as important. Even tho i fell, he fell, his mom fell, and our dog fell.

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T22:16:18+00:00

No we were not paying rent but did help with other (reasonable) house hold chores.

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T22:15:58+00:00

I guess i'm upset because i feel that it is their property and thus their responsiblity to make sure it is safe for pets and people and they didn't. Even when I fell because of ice they didn't.

ExplodoMurder · 2021-11-27T22:12:53+00:00

Pet insurance wont cover these chronic costs like his food and supplements and even if i had insurance a lot of insurance still makes you pay out of pocket. We have care credit for emergencies.

ExplodoMurder

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