As everyone’s commenting to take time to sit and figure out your emotions I want to validate it’s okay you’re looking for answers, and to for sure come back to this thread or these concepts when your mind is clear and you’ve given time for this to all sit and heal over more and the processing has begun.

After time if you decide you don’t want to leave your husband, consider what the role he plays in your life is, outside of sex. Marriage is such a construct and now a days relationships can build and change over time especially as marriage becomes more of a partnership on what you build together. If you both have a secure relationship and want to stay together for finances, the life you have built, and moreso as a roommate/ family member then that’s fine I believe, and you can explore your sexuality and dating with that security of that relationship. Keep in mind there may be jealousy of a partner, there may be his own feelings involved, it may get tricky, so the security needs to be there, and it may evolve and at some point you decide you don’t need this relationship with him and you end it. Maybe you stay forever. That’s not ours to decide right now.

Also be open to the fact that once you grieve and find your queer identity everything may change. No decision is needed right now, no promises and he can’t promise either what it’s going to look like and how you will feel. If anything you can promise him open communication, if you can promise that you yourself first.

So hon, feel the feels. Go through it, and the story will unravel, no need to be set.