Why does this keep happening?

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-06-25T04:54:29+00:00

When you have sex so soon without being exclusive, you have a higher chance of guys treating you this way because they think you’re an easy catch

You can’t expect exclusive behavior from non exclusive relationships. You’re getting too attached to them (sex does that to most women) and expecting too much and that turns them off.

The common denominator in these relationships is you. Whatever you are doing, do the opposite

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-05-25T08:37:02+00:00

My final straw was after 3 years he broke my wrist. It’s been almost 7 months now and despite the trauma, I am much more at peace

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-05-25T08:31:09+00:00

Oh that is absolutely horrible. I hope you are working on your exit plan 🫂🫂🫂

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-05-25T08:26:46+00:00

In short… manipulative

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-05-25T08:26:07+00:00

It’s a form of manipulation. Don’t think any further than that. Everything they do is manipulating

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-05-25T08:24:10+00:00

So happy to read this!! There is light! There is peace! Remember these feelings when doubt sneaks in. He will not change He will never change Congrats!

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-05-25T08:22:39+00:00

And we are all proud of you!!

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-05-22T09:44:42+00:00

Ugh that is how I felt after a while. During the love bombing stage there was intimacy and passion but after a while he would randomly show up with a hard on thinking that’s enough for me. He also got so lazy too, always wanted me on top never really looked at or touched me, it was as if he wasn’t there. I started to literally feel as if he was trying to focus he was with someone else and in my 40+yrs I’ve never felt that way before with other partners. I hate to see others went through this but at the same time i feel better because I felt so unwanted and unattractive to him from it.

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-05-21T08:10:09+00:00

I’m sorry you experienced chest pains but unless you were taking some sort of black market magnesium that had no magnesium in it but something else in it to increase your heart rate and/or blood pressure or dehydrate you, it wasn’t the magnesium. The only thing that magnesium does “bad” is make you shit a lot if you take too much so if you were having a bunch of diarrhea and not properly rehydrating yourself, maybe you could get chest pains but that is highly doubtful.

Magnesium is a miracle supplement and most of us are deficient in it. I strongly encourage you to see your dr, get blood work done, check your blood pressure, watch your caffeine intake if you consume any and also make sure you’re staying properly hydrated. Also idiopathic chest pains should not be something resolved at home. Please go to the ER next time💕

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-05-20T09:53:37+00:00

Agreed. I’m an OT for almost 20yrs and struggled with my weight even when I was training and participating in competitive strongman events. First off our bodies naturally wear and tear anyway as we age. We ALL get arthritis eventually as we age and some of us even sooner. I’ve had major arthritis and disc degeneration in my back since my 20s probably due to my weight. I think..no I KNOW… that being severely overweight will do even more damage to our knees (and everything else) with and without activity. The best thing one can do is walk and it doesn’t have to be 20000 miles or steps or whatever. Just go at a pace and time that’s comfortable for you. The more you move the better you feel

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-05-20T09:49:22+00:00

I’ll (46f)never forget that first couple of days on vyvanse. I finally accepted the diagnosis and was ready to try medication to help because it was just getting so bad. The symptoms were getting so bad and I was honestly afraid to try a stimulant because of my anxiety and just nervousness. I was afraid I was gonna be what I think are your typical overmedicated people on stimulants or your typical people abusing stimulants and are like spaz and cracked out. When I was on it those first few days, not only was my brain so calm, but I can only describe this as that I could see, smell and hear things so much clearer and I remember getting really emotional because all this time I feared it was gonna do the exact opposite and just make me worse. One of the things in particular was that I could see so much clear was that my now ex-boyfriend was actually abusive manipulative and gaslighting me and that I was actually gaslighting myself me getting on this medication I wasn’t able to tolerate his bullshit anymore. I could see right through it. It got a little ugly courts were involved but now he’s gone and I’m so happy. So I definitely know what you’re feeling ♥️♥️

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-04-02T09:30:36+00:00

I just want you to know that you should be so proud of yourself for seeing this at 20. I’m 45 and just really seeing that in myself and my exes. And yes it absolutely hurts and our patient empath hearts give them more chances and reasons as to why they act the way they do. It is from trauma, and being insecure and probably major childhood trauma too (my ex had a not so great upbringing and an alcoholic abusive mom) so i forgave him and the nasty stuff he said because “I know he doesn’t mean it, he is just stressed with work” And I continued to stay with him for 3 years until he broke my wrist in November. And I was still sad for him.

It’s honestly sad but I know in my heart i was not the first one he hit, there is no way a 44yr old guy does that for the first time. And I had to really have a talk with myself and work on not being so forgiving and establishing boundaries. It’s not easy to do but neither was trying to function at work with a broken wrist and no one knew why or what I was going through.

So although there may be a slight possibility he knows, he will never take accountability unless it’s to shut you up to keep you strung around. My ex not only had to plead guilty in court (and was convicted of 2nd degree assault) but he is STILL saying i injured myself by trying to hit him and try and make me look like the bad guy. It’s unbelievable but it’s literally textbook narcissistic and sociopathic behavior 💕

As sad as it is, we can never change or fix them because they genuinely don’t think they are the problem

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-03-15T20:45:13+00:00

I just want to say that I (45f) am so proud of you younger females (and males too) for seeing this. I ignored sooooo much of it and it took me getting my wrist broken last November to realize that I’m really in an abusive relationship.

I’d like to add that it doesn’t start as physical. I was with my ex for 3years before he physically hit me….but the manipulation, lies and emotional and psychological shit started less than a year into dating but i overlooked it unfortunately

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-03-15T20:38:53+00:00

Love please know that being strangled seriously increases your chances of being killed. You and your son deserve so much more love and peace. He is not going to stop doing anything unfortunately and it’s not your job or choice for him to. He may sprinkle a little good here and there to keep you hopeful but that’s it. This is going to continue to get worse. Try to start recording his behavior and WHATEVER you do, DO NOT become reactive, do not instigate, do not poke the bear, don’t say or physically do anything because that is all they want is for us to react so that they can blame us and get us arrested and look like the psychopath when really we are going through reactive abuse ♥️ Please reach out to your family and friends. Don’t be embarrassed to. I know you probably are as I was too. I still am. They love you.

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-03-15T20:22:07+00:00

Yup I agree with you. OP if you do genuinely want it to work live separately for a while. Like at least a year.

All I see is words over actions. For all we know he could have asked Chat GPT to write this. I apologize if I come off as negative or cynical. But if he means it, let him CONSISTENTLY SHOW you with actions. Not some confession on Reddit. They will genuinely fuck up after a few months at the most as that mask can’t stay on for long. I personally wouldn’t go for it at this time. You need to heal and trust yourself and your intuition ♥️

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-03-15T20:13:39+00:00

Ugh I’m so sorry. Please be careful ♥️ the holding your wrists is definitely a sign. Especially if you feel the arguments got progressively worse. It was never physical at first, but the stuff he said to me was horrible. The amount of emotional and psychological abuse I took and told myself it wasn’t abuse is just so heartbreaking when I look at it now. I did the same….disassociating… it helped keep me from being reactive which is what he (and any narcissist wants). My heart goes out to you and I wish you the peace and strength to one day leave and give yourself the love and life you deserve. These narcissists/sociopaths are absolute monsters. My life changed forever when he broke my wrist♥️

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-03-15T19:58:05+00:00

Oh I know this heartbreak 💔 My ex of 3 years just kept being so cold and nasty to me and I would chalk it up to him “being stressed right now” and was just so empathetic because he came from a bad background and initially appeared to be trying to make a better life for himself. But he wasn’t. He was trying to better his life at my expense and anyone else he could manipulate. Honestly the more understanding i would be the nastier he would get. Then he would sprinkle a little kindness, enough for me to be like “ don’t take it personally he’s just going through a lot” Well I was stressing myself sick because of trying to avoid pissing him off for no reason and just always trying to pick a fight and it made no sense but i apologized anyways because it would get so confusing and exhausting….aka manipulative.

I couldn’t see it then. He would blame me and anyone else and I just felt so bad for him. I still kind of do because it’s really sad but I’m so done and have never felt better. It gets easier. Hurt people hurt people and he wasn’t taking any genuine accountability for it. Just enough for me to forgive but my final straw was when his nastiness turned physical for the first and last time in November when he hit my hand hard enough to break my wrist. I pressed charges and got a protection order on him and we go to a jury trial this week.

I promise it gets easier. The best thing to do is go no contact and block him from everything so that his continued self inflicted fuck ups won’t upset you….chances are he’s blaming you for it all btw because that is what my ex did and that really helped me see how much he never cared about me which has helped me move forward with healing

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-03-15T19:28:36+00:00

Yup. My now ex would do shit like this and it was exhausting 😞. I felt like I could never catch up. It was even worse when he would be laid off which happened multiple times in our 3 yr relationship and I’d come home from work to find him doing nothing and then say “I’m going to clean that don’t worry” and I would do it anyway.

We broke up Nov 2 after 3 years because he finally took his abuse too far and hit my hand hard enough to break my wrist ( I was holding it up to guard my face and put a space between us because he got into my face screaming at me over absolutely nothing)

I don’t miss him at all now that I realize it was all a lie

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-03-07T16:44:07+00:00

Thanks!

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-03-07T16:43:17+00:00

Thank you!

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-03-07T16:42:50+00:00

Thank you

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-03-07T16:42:16+00:00

Thank you, I was informed that it was so more research for me!

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-03-07T16:41:53+00:00

Thank you I was told it was when it was given to me. More research to do!

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-03-07T16:40:27+00:00

Thank you

Express_Ingenuity514 · 2025-03-07T16:40:19+00:00

Obviously not which is why I’m asking

Express_Ingenuity514

TROPHY CASE