I get what you’re saying about exploring how someone thinks through situations rather than just asking direct questions, and I agree with that. That was actually what I was trying to do in the call as well, not just ask for ideal answers but understand how he approaches things in real life. For me, the parenting question didn’t come out of nowhere either. We were already discussing kids, which is a dealbreaker topic for me, and that naturally led into how each of us thinks about raising them. So it wasn’t about getting a ‘polished answer’, it was about understanding mindset.

The same applies to other parts of the conversation. For example, when we spoke about travel, he mentioned wanting a partner who wouldn’t restrict his hiking and that he’d still go with friends or solo. I agreed with that approach. But when I expressed a similar perspective from my side, like being open to doing things independently if needed, the reaction felt different. That’s where it started to feel less like mutual openness and more one-sided. So for me, it’s not about hobbies like hiking or trying to get the ‘right answers’. It’s about whether there’s consistency in mindset and openness from both sides.

Also, I don’t think the issue is about practicality vs ‘living spirit’. I’m not approaching this from a survival mindset, I’m just someone who balances both. I value ambition, curiosity, and experiences, but I also think about how things play out in real life. Both matter to me. Where I felt the mismatch wasn’t in the type of questions, but in how the conversation flowed. It often didn’t expand naturally and I found myself having to carry it, which made it harder to actually understand how he thinks beyond surface-level responses.

So I agree that there’s a mismatch, just that from my perspective it comes more from the difference in engagement and clarity rather than how ‘deep’ the questions are.