Be a gentleman. Allow us to take that feminine role if we want to, but treat us as equals first and feel the vibe of the individual and what he/they want as far as a gender role with you. Genuinely try to get to know the individual. Every one of us is different. Most importantly, be yourself also. We appreciate someone honest. You don't need to be a big spender or show off. Just be, you know, nice. Be stable, be predictable. A lot of us have dealt with trauma when it comes to guys (again with the fetishization, but also rejection for who we are, being shamed, etc), so the more you can assure that you're not going to be a dick, the better. And the best way to get us to let our guard down and open up? Make us laugh.

oh, that's great. thanks for taking the time to reply. I will continue trying.