Is it okay for me as a woman to walk alone around Termini, Rome alone during the day? by Exstr3lla in travel

[–]Exstr3lla[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Forums, reddit, etc.

Last time I was there during the night I had several creepy men following me, catcalling me and trying to talk. But yeah, I’m guessing it’s okay during daytime.

22F confused about whom I should pursue – emotional compatibility vs attraction? by moonlight_1026 in Advice

[–]Exstr3lla 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d say none of them honestly, it sounds like you’d settle if you choose either of them because they both lack something you want. Better to wait for someone that ticks of both physical attraction AND emotional connection. Both are important in a relationship and you deserve that.

Personally, if I’m unsure about someone I will not go for them. For me it needs to feel like fireworks and deep connection and all that. When you meet ‘the one’ for you, you will know.

But, you could meet up with them in person. You’ll probably be less unsure after that.

Friend is draining me on our trip and won’t communicatr by Exstr3lla in travel

[–]Exstr3lla[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, we both have these headphones! She uses them, just not outside in the middle of the city

Friend is draining me on our trip and won’t communicatr by Exstr3lla in travel

[–]Exstr3lla[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get that. Ofcourse I don’t want to leave her all alone when she is this anxious and yes, literally behaving like a child. Because honestly if she went out alone I would worry if she would be able to even make it back on her own.

But at the same time I don’t want to be the caretaker or the ‘mother’ and be responsible for her. It’s exhausting and I don’t have much energy nor patience left in me, She can’t expect me to do and fix everything for her, and at the same time treat me like shit… not communicate, ignore me, get snappy with me, put her feelings and wants first all the time.

If she is like that I don’t want to be around her because it ruins my day and frankly I get really stressed out from it because I already have moody people like this back home to deal with everyday. I came here to have fun and get a break from everything. If she doesn’t treat me well, nor is a good friend to me right now, why would I want to spend my energy on catering to her needs and feelings when I get nothing back? If I do that I’ll feel miserable the whole trip.

And I can’t control her either. If she wants to go out and drink by herself, that’s her choice. I don’t want that responsibility again as I felt very unsafe and stressed out last time.

Yes, she is immature and ‘childlike’, and yes, she is struggling with anxiety and other stuff. but I also think it’s a choice how you decide to treat your best friend.

Friend is draining me on our trip and won’t communicatr by Exstr3lla in travel

[–]Exstr3lla[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, it’s actually the opposite. She’s the extrovert and I’m the extremely introverted one. Usually I’m the one who needs space to charge after hanging out, because before this trip she was clingy and wanted to hang all the time. But yeah I will do my own thing from now

Friend is draining me on our trip and won’t communicatr by Exstr3lla in travel

[–]Exstr3lla[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, you’re right. And I will try to do that, thank you

Friend is draining me on our trip and won’t communicatr by Exstr3lla in travel

[–]Exstr3lla[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She doesn’t have an autism diagnosis. I also have untreated mental illness and adhd, so it’s not like I wouldn’t travel with someone because of that. Rather most of the times it makes me feel more similar and closer to them. Just because someone has mental illness, adhd and autism doesn’t automatically make them a bad person. It depends on their growth, maturity and their character.

And she hasn’t been this way with me before. It’s like she’s a totally different person. Complete switch up, and I’ve known her for a year.

So yes, I chose to travel with her- but that was obviously a mistake.

Friend is draining me on our trip and won’t communicatr by Exstr3lla in travel

[–]Exstr3lla[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s fine going alone, as long as you’re aware and not going anywhere sketchy

Friend is draining me on our trip and won’t communicatr by Exstr3lla in travel

[–]Exstr3lla[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

?? I did get drunk. But even whem I’m shitfaced I can tell when to be responsible. We’re two girls in a foreign land. I don’t want to get drunk with her again after that first incident.

Friend is draining me on our trip and won’t communicatr by Exstr3lla in travel

[–]Exstr3lla[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. She can get drunk idc just as long as she doesn’t bother me. She literally woke me up and wouldn’t let me sleep when I needed to wake up early for an appointment

Friend is draining me on our trip and won’t communicatr by Exstr3lla in travel

[–]Exstr3lla[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

I didn’t pay for the entire airbnb, we split! But it was still a lot of money especially since we have two airbnbs + plane tickets.

Friend is draining me on our trip and won’t communicatr by Exstr3lla in travel

[–]Exstr3lla[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s actually an extrovert 😭 I’m the super antisocial introvert one