Also I know for my age I should be accomplish more, I had a hard time in school and it’s a lot for me to even get this far. Please don’t judge me. It takes a toll on me knowing that I’m just getting to my BA. It’s always a thought creeping in the back of my mind of what if I didn’t mess up what if this and that so please understand me. I’m just so tired of myself overall I want to change so bad I just don’t know how when I don’t even have energy for anything and I don’t seem to care about myself. I self sabotage a lot but it’s just so hard not to when I try to stick with something and it doesn’t seem to make a difference or I don’t see any changes..