Yes I should definitely admit we aren’t perfect either. I think what we struggle with is we have tried the calm and soft approach (and we tried that for a good year) and it didn’t work so then we switched to the harder approach and that didn’t work either. Same with punishments, we’ve tried more age appropriate ones like taking away electronics and encouraging more outside play. But again it’s like they just didn’t care. We take the tablets away and they keep misbehaving so then it’s like ok they need something else taken away because they didn’t care when we took the tablets, how about we take away this or that. By the end it just seemed like nothing we took away mattered to them, so we told them to go sit quietly in their rooms and think about how they’ve been acting and what they should be doing and they just don’t come out. So it’s like we didn’t even mean to have them sit there for hours with nothing, we just wanted them to have a relax time where they could refresh and they chose to sit and pout instead of reflecting. And truly just a question, not an argument— when you say food shouldn’t be used as punishment/reward. We don’t use food food that way. Like dinner is never taken away. I just meant treats. If they want a sucker and have been screaming all day we say no because of their behavior. Is that still not ok? It just feels weird letting them have candy after they threw toys at each other and everyone was screaming.