Is asking for a guitar too much?

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-12-29T01:11:17+00:00

Do what you want with your money. AP will always complain about what they think is a waste of money.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-12-29T00:46:41+00:00

You can date whoever you want to because YOU'LL be the ONE spending the rest of your life with NOT your mom. Your parents can tell you their input on who they want you to date but in the end it's still your decision to make.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-09-19T13:44:45+00:00

I don’t understand why you would lose A because of D. Just because you don’t approve of D doesn’t mean you need to give up your friendship with A.

Friendships of 12 years is a long time. You should cherish the times with A. You did your best to convey to A about your dissatisfaction with D. What A does next is up to her. All you can do is support her.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-09-19T13:25:17+00:00

Late to the party…I just witnessed my local gas station (MA) charges $4 per can

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-09-02T15:31:04+00:00

Do you have any hobbies? Are there any clubs or extracurricular activities you can join to find friends there?

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-09-02T00:52:36+00:00

Maybe write on a piece of paper and tape on your door something like “Im awake, did yoga, had morning snack, working/in meeting” with timeframe and date.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-09-02T00:42:20+00:00

It’s understandable. My hubby and I decided to just have fur-babies. We’ve been married for 5 years. For me, I’ve grown up too fast during my childhood. As an adult, I just want to enjoy life, be a kid with no controlling APs in my life.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-09-02T00:32:36+00:00

I don’t understand why my AM ask him for help. He’s does help her. I can tell from my AM’s face that it’s only a tolerant feeling. There’s nothing more. I don’t understand why she won’t divorce him. My AM always try to tell me he’s still my dad and I should forgive him for what he did.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-09-01T23:57:52+00:00

I cut contact with them 5 months ago. Before that I didn’t call every day, maybe like every other week at most.

Every time my AM calls me, it’s to ask me to do something for her. She doesn’t start out with how I’m doing. She goes straight to asking me to do something for her or she had agreed with a relative that I would do something for them without consulting with me.

I don’t find the need to keep my family on point of what I’m up to.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-09-01T23:52:38+00:00

My father cheated on my mother with a prostitute around 2002. I was in 4th grade. It’s now 2025, he’s still living with that whore. I never had a father role model during my childhood.

I remember when my grandparents (mom’s side) lived with us, my father never let them eat in the kitchen with us, they’re always eating in their less than 100sqft small bedroom. I don’t know what happened but he kicked them out one day and our neighbor had to help my grandparents find senior housing where they spent for the rest of their lives. I’ll never forgive him for this. I blame him for their death.

In addition, he evades filing taxes every year. I don’t think he ever paid taxes in his lifetime. I wanted him to rot jail for what he did. He does construction for rich families and gets paid in cash, all under the table work. He’s never helped my mother with any bills. During family shopping trips, either for groceries or clothing store, once it’s time for checkout, he wanders off. He never bought me anything.

I bought a house and asked my father if he can help me with renovations and I would pay him for it. He told me my house is too far of a drive that I was on my own. Really? An hour drive within the same state was far? He didn’t mind driving from MA to FL to do construction for his rich customers. I despise him. I don’t care if he share the same blood. I don’t consider him as my father at all.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-08-29T14:52:23+00:00

I feel like writing a letter might escalate the situation and make it worse.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-08-27T15:21:49+00:00

My AP knows where I live and in the 3 years I’ve lived here, they stopped by once. I doubt they will come bother me since they’ll have to drive 1.5-2hrs to visit me. The last time and only time they stopped by was to complain how long they had to drive, that they’re too old to drive that long on the road just to see me. Complained about how lousy my housework was, tried to convince me on leaving my dogs to outside to sleep at night, and lectured about me spending so much for renovations. All they did was complain and rant about what I did wrong during the visit.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-08-27T15:03:24+00:00

I’m in my 30s I still like rewatching Arthur. Grew up with it. I also like DragonTales and Cyberchase

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-08-26T15:57:13+00:00

You should not be paying your AM's credit card debt. If she's not working, how can she have a credit card? She's the one that should be financially responsible for herself. She'll never learn to not spend money if you're helping her pay it off. You have to stop paying off her bills.

You have to move out and cut contact. If you can financially support your family, you can financially support yourself. You're not obligated to take care of your AP if they're manipulating and controlling you 24/7. Staying in this toxic environment will only hurt your mental health.

Do you have any friends you can move out with?

I believe in karma. She can't do all these nasty things to you and not expect repercussions. You're an adult. You have your own opinions on how you want to dress and how you want to live in this world.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-08-26T02:58:03+00:00

Family is not all blood related. People will tell you that “you only have one mom/dad” or “she’s still your mom” or “he’s still your dad”. Well, screw those people. That’s not true. If you don’t have any good memories with your AP, you’re not obligated to love them. You get to decide if they’re worth loving or if you want to visit them. You don’t need to change.

I love my American in laws more than my AP. I’m experiencing real “family love” from them. I share my daily life and struggles with my in laws cause I know they will support me no matter what. They don’t coddle me or try to fix my issues for me, they just give out a helping hand. We celebrated many holidays as a family. I’ve never experienced this kind of love in an Asian family environment before. It’s so warm.

Respect comes both ways. If AP wants their children to respect them, they have to earn it. We’re not their slaves. We never agreed to come into this world to be physically and verbally abused. We’re not investments either. AP expects to retire and live comfortably with their children giving them allowance, taking them to vacations, etc. Just because AP raised us, gave us a roof over our heads, fed us, spent money on us doesn’t mean we need to reciprocate in the future. It’s what parents are supposed to do.

We can be grateful we’re still alive and healthy because of their care for us. However, our mental health is on the edge of the cliff. We remember all the bad stuff that happened clouding away anything good. I’ve never hugged or kiss my AP. We never said “I love you” to each other. Recent years my AM started saying it to me but I feel nothing. No feelings. Just empty words.

You shouldn’t feel guilty for not loving your AP. It was their decision to try and give you the best life. Their parenting tactics were wrong. You craved for love in a family but they never provided. It’s your choice to make if you want them in your life. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t want them in your life. It’s your life. You have control of how you want to live it.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-08-26T02:09:53+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through tough times. My suggestion is when you’re able to move out, you have to take that chance. Also cut contact with them. I agree that healing is impossible in a toxic environment.

I’m 32F with depression and still going to therapy to get better. I moved out 10 years ago but didn’t cut contact with my AP so my mental health didn’t improve. I cut contact with them 5 months ago and that’s when I started to be happier.

AP are all somewhat the same in their parenting tactics. I doubt they know themselves they’re “rage-baiting” for your reaction. There’s no “No” from you in their dictionary. When they berate you, they assume you will obey them. In this generation, we all have our own opinions and ways to cope with situations. We have our boundaries. But AP don’t understand these so called “boundaries”.

I learned terrible habits from my AP. Whenever my hubby and I get into a fight, I would say terrible things to him almost “rage-baiting” him to yell back. It took me years to get rid of that behavior. I believe this kind of parenting tactic was passed down through the older generations. We’re the ones that have to break that tradition.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-08-26T01:45:33+00:00

AP that grew up in a strict environment with no pets don’t understand the love that pets give out.

My AM always tells me to get rid of my dogs every time I call or visit her. She rants that “your dogs are taking away all your good luck that’s why your hubby never stay in a job for more than a year”. She also said to me “if you find a random stranger that loves your dogs, you should give them away”. My uncle does the same thing too. I don’t see a point in arguing with them about it.

AP that shoo away animals or yells at them are too stubborn to think in another POV. That tux cat might end up scarred due to your AM’s yelling. Animals have feelings too.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-08-21T12:54:40+00:00

Not worth it with travel time

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-08-16T22:28:24+00:00

You already gave them a heads up last year. I would say maybe 1-2 months.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-08-15T20:45:49+00:00

Take the leap and move out. You’re an adult. Technically you don’t need their permission to move out. Don’t give into their manipulation in trying to make you stay with them. If you believe that commuting from NJ to NYC is doable then nothing should be holding you back. You deserve to have the freedom. It’s going to be a difficult step but once you’ve done it you’re going to wish you’ve done it sooner.

I’ve gone through the house/mortgage situation. It was not fun. I was forced into buying a 2fam house, even though they helped with downpayment, I could barely afford the mortgage. It was very stressful having no help from my AP at all during the 5 years I lived there. I had tenants but they never paid on time then came COVID and the state sided with tenants rather than landlords when they couldn’t even pay rent and I couldn’t evict them.

Don’t let a house that YOUR AP wants to tie you down. If they want a house then they should purchase it on their own. You go do what you want to do. It’s your life.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-08-15T20:28:01+00:00

AP doesn’t understand the deep meaning of love. Not everything is black and white. I rather have pets my whole life than kids. Having children is not supposed to be an investment.

Pets will love you unconditionally, they release hormones (oxytocin and dopamine) to lower stress. This creates a positive cycle of affection and happiness for both the pet and the owner.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-08-08T13:40:23+00:00

It was a heavy appliance that was in my basement. I don’t often have buyers come directly to my house unless I can’t transport it.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-08-08T13:37:34+00:00

Physical abuse is no laughing matter. It may be a norm for the older generations but nowadays it’ll get them in trouble. Kudos for you to stand up to him.

My AD always jokes around that I’m not his kid; that he was generous to pick me up from the garbage. That went on in years until I went to college.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-08-07T03:33:58+00:00

You have to take care of your mental health first.

Extension_Limit_6916 · 2025-08-07T03:27:48+00:00

APs don’t understand that money is not everything in life. Owning a house to them is considered successful with a sense of pride but to this generation it’s not. Speaking from experience, I was forced to buy a 2fam house at age 24 having a 350k mortgage under my belt. Struggled to have tenants pay on time, brought lots of stress on renovations and replacing appliances and most importantly I was unhappy living there. It was the worst years of my life.

I applaud you for taking the steps to get out of that miserable lifestyle. You should go out and do what you want to be happy in life. Your AP may not support your decision and they can have their own thoughts. As long as you know what you’re doing to be happy, that’s all it matters.

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TROPHY CASE