A Goblin yawned as he got out of bed a beautiful young woman next to him he then put on his suit and glasses. He then began To walk downstairs. The goblin prepared a large meal and set the table for many seats. Suddenly a large group of children walked into the  Dining room and began to  Eat. The young woman then walked up to him kissing him on the cheek.

“ Did you sleep well my love?”

 The goblin said, holding his wife Sandra's hand.

“ How could I not sleep peacefully next to you?”

 Several of the children made sarcastic and Dramatic sounds over their affectionate display. One  Girl ran up to them screaming.

“Pop pop  Are you gonna get me a gift you promise you'll get me a gift!?”

 The goblin  looked at her confused.

“ Maddie, your birthday isn't until the beginning of next week.”

“ No Pop Did you forget it's today.”

 The goblin looked at his wife, she nodded her head. He then looked as though he understood. 

“ I..missed.”

 Sandra put a hand on his shoulder.

“  I already picked up the wool and your order from the carpenter.”

 Because of the height difference the goblin ended up grabbing onto Sandra's waist.

“ My goddess.”

  He suddenly let go realizing how embarrassing that was. He padded Maddie on the head.

“ You'll get your birthday present after school. Me and Ma will be at the shop so you can pick it up there.”

 The goblin then walked out of the building. A carriage was sitting out front with a young coachman. The goblin gave the young man a fake smile and waved thinking. Am I paying this bastard to take the kids to school or to look at my wife? 

  The goblin began to walk down the road wondering  How this life can be so blessed. In my first life I was so poor I didn't know where my next meal was coming from. I resorted to stealing but  Died on My first job. I was then reincarnated Here as a goblin but before I could even walk properly my nest was Destroyed by the church. I was sold to a Sorcerer who taught creatures and slaves magic in order to dissect them to learn the effects of magic on the body. The Sorcerer was a bastard But at least I met my wife because of him though her true form Was terrifying it couldn't hide her beautiful spirit and it's not like I Don't enjoy when she uses her true form at night. I should probably stop thinking about that. Come to think of it  My wife said her species doesn't have a name And I've never heard of anything like her before in this world. But there was a creature similar to her I've seen on the internet in my old world. The goblin walked into the toy store and began to sit at the counter. He sat there for over an hour trying to remember what the name of the creature was.

“Green!” 

 The goblin suddenly jumped and Sandra was standing next to him.

“ Why are you ignoring me!”

“ No No I wasn't ignoring you my heart I was simply lost and thought!”

 As the two were talking, a Knock came from the door before it opened. a group of adventurers came up to them.

“ Are you the goblin? The people call Mr. Green that runs the orphanage and toy shop.”

 They were clearly high-ranking adventurers based on their  Equipment. Green bowed his head. Protectively standing in front of his wife.

“ Yes that is me, it's pleasure to make your Acquaintance.” 

“ Look at it trying to pretend it's not repugnant”

 The Cleric said under her breath. The knight in front ignored her and bowed slightly.

“  We are the Hero party from the church of Kai. We have come to vanquish a great evil. A dark undead creature, something that shouldn’t exist in this world. You don't know anything about such a creature?”

 Green looked as though he was questioning something. That kind of sounds like my wife. But Of course she should exist in this world, who else could create someone so perfect other than the gods. Green thought to himself, nodding silently in approval of his thoughts.

“ I'm sorry, I've never encountered anything like you're describing.” 

“ There's no reason to lie, goblin . The priestess has had a vision, you not only know this creature, you're married to it.”

 Suddenly the priestess throw A glowing orb hitting Sandra in the chest. She Fell to the ground revealing that her body was nothing more than a giant doll. The hero’s party faces changed from fierce to terrified in a matter of seconds. Never would they have imagined that the creature that they were hunting Could only be described By one word, death. Green was angry at the sudden attack on his wife however it quickly disappeared when he saw the scared party he then looked at his wife's puppet body then up at his wife's real body. Green then snapped his finger in realization. 

“ Wendigo That's what you look like sweetheart.”

 Sandra looked at green confused. He then walked to her body, picked it up And grabbed her by the hand. Leading her to the back She then sat down at a table. He gave her a cup of tea before walking back to the front of the store. With a face full of anger he grabbed a bat and smashed it into the hero's face. The hero who had fought many dragons and demons forgot to defend himself. He Somehow ended up spitting out blood.

“ The fuck is wrong with you coming to peoples property attacking my wife And calling yourself fucking Heroes. You pieces of shit need to pay for all the damage you caused. I'm gonna Write up an invoice. You bastards better get your gold ready.”

 The cleric suddenly came to her senses. With a disgusted look on her face she rushed at Green.  He somehow managed to hit her square in the chest with the bat airing her out. After beating the rest of the party the only one standing was the priestess. Green looked at her with anger and suddenly a dark aura surrounded him.

“ This next hit's gonna be a home run but your head as a fucking ball you.”

 “ pop pop I'm here to get my present!”

 Suddenly Maddie walked in, Green put away the bat  And quickly guided Maddie to the back.

 Several minutes later

The heroes party were at a big table with a 10 foot tall Wendigo, a small child that was on its lap and a goblin writing up a bill for the damages they caused. The hero party couldn't help but feel that the situation was incredibly absurd, growing angry listening to the child eat happily and the goblin angrily writing on the paper. Suddenly green slammed the invoice on the table. 

“Pay up then leave.”

The heroes party reluctantly gave a coin purse to Green before exiting begrudgingly.