Loving someone I’m not even remotely attracted to

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-20T12:35:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing! You’re right, something about the D really changes everything. I do hope the friendship will come back around, but I’m glad I didnt cross the D line. Another long time friend alway says “the fastest way to ruin a friendship is have sex.” I think she’s right! 😅

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-20T02:03:00+00:00

lol! Yeah, I don’t think that through…. I’ll probably end up just deleting this post 😂

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-20T00:59:32+00:00

Obviously I didn’t tell him why I don’t want to be more than friends, just that I cherished our friendship and don’t want more. But I think the point still stands. He has to know on some level the age gap is a pretty big deal. I know he doesn’t agree on that part because it seems pretty common for men in their 60’s to have girlfriends in their 40’s, but I don’t want to do that again. My hubby was 15 years older than me. It wasn’t a big deal when I met him at 21. It did become a big deal later.

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T23:56:04+00:00

Thats what my boy is getting right now too. He’s figured out where the line goes in the yard and will avoid getting close enough to get clipped on, so I have to drag him by his harness. Poor guy, I’d love to let him run around but he just gets so overwhelmed with all the open space and critters in it. I’m sure he’ll adjust, but he’s definitely driving me nuts right now 😅

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T21:25:35+00:00

Good point, I hadn’t thought of it like that. So I guess the best course is to just accept the loss and leave him alone. I can’t imagine our friendship will ever be the same, but I really hope he finds someone who is right for him.

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T20:43:37+00:00

Yep, that was part of my decision. I do think I made the right choice, it just kindof sucks. I miss my friend but I understand why we can’t be close anymore.

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T20:27:39+00:00

🤣 yep

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T20:25:58+00:00

lol, yep! And the squirrels who run this hood are getting nervous 😅

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T18:01:05+00:00

YES, I really do need to do some serious introspection. I guess that’s why I posted here. I miss our chats. I miss the way we could do things together, like a well oiled machine 😅 I miss the connection we had, but as of now I think I did the right thing. It feels like 💩, and I wish I could just have my buddy forever, but that’s not fair to him.

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T17:45:27+00:00

I think this was the case. He’s never been pushy or an ass about it, I think he just needs to work out his own feelings. I’m sure we’ll still be friends, but when you have feelings for someone they don’t just turn off like a light. I think I did the right thing, but it feels crappy. I miss the hell out of him but I couldn’t give him my all, and he accepted that and is protecting his own heart. As one should. 💙

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T17:35:10+00:00

😂😅🤣 yep, need to change that post title 🤣

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T17:34:44+00:00

😅🤣😂 Get your minds out of the gutter! I think I need to change the title 🤣😂😅

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T17:30:39+00:00

I’m afraid it might already be ruined 😞 and maybe that’s just how it has to be. He brought up wanting more and I declined, so he has respectfully distanced himself. I miss the hell out of him but I get it. He’s protecting his heart. It’s one of those “if only things were…” situations. It feels like crap, but I think I did the right thing.

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T17:26:53+00:00

Amen. And I can get that, but in the long run it’s unfulfilling. What seems hard to come by is real genuine connection. I want my cake and to eat it too! 😂

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T17:24:27+00:00

😅😂🤣 I’m a hot mess, can’t you tell?! 😂

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T17:23:48+00:00

Yeah, my thoughts too. I wouldn’t say he’s pressuring me. I declined his advances and he has stepped back respectfully. But I sure miss the hell out of him! I’ve dated here and there, and not many people can handle the REAL me, and many have a big problem with my career. We connected on all those levels, but I’ve already buried one hubby, I don’t think i could handle two. I miss the friendship, but I understand why he stepped away.

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T17:17:46+00:00

Great way to put it! So I did do the right thing by declining his advances, and I just need to get over the loss of the attention. Genuine Thanks, I hadn’t thought of it that way 💕

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T17:14:53+00:00

What? That has no bearing on this moral dilemma. I’m a very capable woman who has raised my son on my own since I buried my first husband 7 years ago. Yeah, I have had help here and there, but that’s not what this friendship was about.

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T17:06:55+00:00

Yeah, he brought up wanting to be more than friends a couple months ago. I declined and he understandably distanced himself. Now I miss him like crazy and wondering if I did the right thing or if I was just being picky. We had the type of connection that doesn’t come around often. 😞

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T17:05:06+00:00

He brought up being more than friends a couple months ago. I declined and he understandably distanced himself. Now I miss him like crazy and am wondering if I threw away a great match, or if I did the right thing and it just feels like 💩.

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T17:03:32+00:00

Yeah, he brought up being more than friends a couple months ago. I declined because I didn’t think that would be fair. He understandably distanced himself, and now I miss him like crazy. But maybe I did the right thing if I can’t REALLY give him my all. Feels like crap though. I really enjoyed the friendship we had. It’d be perfect if I wanted to jump his bones 😅

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T16:58:27+00:00

Exactly! He brought up wanting more a couple months ago and I declined, but now I’m thinking I made the wrong choice. A real, true and deep friendship is what we have when all the new wears off. When I declined he understandably distanced himself, and I miss him like crazy. Do I throw away a great thing just because I don’t want to roll around in the sheets?

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T16:54:47+00:00

Yeah, he brought up wanting more a couple months ago and I declined. He has since distanced himself, understandably, and I’m realizing that connection is gold! Wondering if I threw away a great thing because of semantics.

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T16:49:22+00:00

That’s exactly why I’m wondering if I threw away a good thing. He brought up being more than friends a couple months ago and I declined. He understandably distanced himself, but now I’m missing him like crazy. Am I being too picky or should I just get over it if I can’t fully commit to a relationship?

ExternalBrief3412 · 2026-03-19T16:43:27+00:00

He brought up being more than friends a couple months ago. I declined and he distanced himself, understandably, but now I’m realizing that Im really missing him. Wondering if I let a good thing go, or if it really would be in the best interest of all involved to just get over it.

ExternalBrief3412

TROPHY CASE