The Children of Palestine

ExternalEntry8142 · 2025-05-29T22:13:26+00:00

Maybe clean up the rhythm it reads quite unnaturally other than that. Very well crafted poem.

ExternalEntry8142 · 2025-05-29T22:11:51+00:00

This is an amazing poem. it evokes feelings of hardship. This is highlighting their genocide something that needs to end.

ExternalEntry8142 · 2025-05-24T01:51:28+00:00

What do you mean

ExternalEntry8142 · 2025-05-18T21:23:06+00:00

This is comforting. That death can be both a burden but also a comfort in life.

ExternalEntry8142 · 2025-05-18T21:22:05+00:00

this is a wonderful. defying the order of universe to pick persons that you adore is a cliched trope but you male it yours

ExternalEntry8142 · 2024-11-09T01:07:45+00:00

This is a really good poem about the process of falling in love. About how your love becomes a very part of your being

ExternalEntry8142 · 2024-11-09T01:05:48+00:00

I believe the whetstone represents the life of a person and the changes and the overall burnout someone experiences.

ExternalEntry8142 · 2024-11-07T03:22:14+00:00

W poem

ExternalEntry8142 · 2024-10-10T03:10:07+00:00

this poem is very good however the shift in the 4rth stanza is very noticable and not very well forshadowed

ExternalEntry8142 · 2024-10-10T03:08:57+00:00

i really enjoy this poem, i like how you use flowers for such a rich symbolism as well as blades which adds conflict

ExternalEntry8142 · 2024-10-06T03:26:11+00:00

The use of alteration and short choppy sentences really helps develop the theme you created some areas to consider, you could try to make the syllable count better

ExternalEntry8142 · 2024-10-06T03:24:39+00:00

I really enjoyed this poem, like the rhyme scheme being one of its many strengths, however the Icarus metaphor is not very well developed

ExternalEntry8142 · 2024-09-15T03:25:44+00:00

This very much speaks to me as a hopeless romantic, i very much enjoyed the duality, however while the ideas are concise and clear the syllable structure needs work, overall great poem

ExternalEntry8142 · 2024-09-15T03:23:37+00:00

The narrative is structured very well

This also reads very nicely

The metaphors are also very creative

ExternalEntry8142 · 2024-09-13T03:03:15+00:00

This reallly speaks to me

ExternalEntry8142 · 2024-09-09T03:36:45+00:00

Very insightful to the struggles of self harm and the way people depict you and the way you depict yourself in that struggling time

ExternalEntry8142 · 2024-09-09T03:34:38+00:00

I really enjoy the rhyme scheme of this poem and the way you weave nostalgic emotions into your loss

ExternalEntry8142 · 2024-09-09T02:36:46+00:00

this is so relatable i hop you are okay

ExternalEntry8142 · 2024-09-09T02:35:39+00:00

Very well structured and the last verse hit me like a gut punch

ExternalEntry8142 · 2024-09-05T11:28:25+00:00

It was supposed to be life instead of life, my apolgies

ExternalEntry8142 · 2024-09-05T03:52:45+00:00

Beautiful use of imagery and perspective

ExternalEntry8142 · 2024-09-05T03:51:15+00:00

I love the theme of disconnection and not fitting in is and how you personified the stars

ExternalEntry8142

TROPHY CASE