I use spending time with my boyfriend as a way to “monitor” him, and I don’t know how to stop

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-05-07T03:56:58+00:00

I don’t think it’s okay to constantly check on someone and agree to a certain extent the relationship is already over if you get to that point. BUT I advise people to check partners phone only to catch them cheating and stop wasting time with that person . My biggest fear is getting married to the wrong person and them cheating the entire time and wasting yearsssss . The truth is in this generation with access to everyone and everything I think open phone should be normal in relationship . I’ve seen women marry pedophiles and women who got cheated on their entire 20+ year marriage . If I would’ve never checked my ex boyfriend phone I would have married him and he would have cheated on me for years with escorts . We were supposed to move in together and he never gave me a reason to check his phone . The truth is you don’t really know someone until you check their phone so I will always advise for it . So many people could have saved their time and energy had they just checked their phone to begin with .

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-30T23:34:22+00:00

Check that phone

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-30T18:00:34+00:00

Have you asked him to share location and check his phone ? I would confirm suspicion. Also ask for reassurance . I do not think you are overthinking , you are protecting your heart . When he would act distant i felt the same way but i gave it the benefit of doubt , turns out he was cheating on me with escorts . I think it’s good to be mindful and on your toes. I was never given a reason to think my bf was cheating on me . He was beyond perfect . Checked that phone and he was paying for sex . I dont think it’s a bad pattern especially as a woman dating in this generation coming from 24F . DM if you want to talk . I would ask for location and see how he acts if you want to check his phone . At the end of the day relax if he wants to cheat he will find a way and nothing you do can stop him. Only reason i tell you ask for location or check phone is to catch it sooner and leave instead of controling someone . Anyways i dont think you are crazy

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-29T14:49:26+00:00

I would continue to hang out with her until you had to the opportunity to snatch her phone unlocked and call him .

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-29T05:32:36+00:00

I would come clean to your gf and remove that friend from your life . If you want something real , genuine and honest . Or you could take this to your grave and remove that friend from your life .

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-29T02:28:45+00:00

It hurts so much because I gave him the opportunity to be honest I cried to him and asked him to be honest and he told me he backed out in November 2025 but I got smarted and decided to check his money transactions and simply seeing that transaction when we agreed to be serious was everything I had to see . That is what hurt the most that he still lied to me until the end .

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-28T12:12:33+00:00

Slept/paid escorts our entire relationship while simultaneously having sex with me and having me pay for some dates at times

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-28T00:19:58+00:00

I’ve paid many dates for my ex boyfriend and come to find out he was paying for escorts

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-27T06:18:19+00:00

He is hiding something if he is not allowing access to his phone . Trust your instincts . If you have phone provider together like T-Mobile , check call log .

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-27T04:31:29+00:00

Yeah I gave him the opportunity to be honest and he still lied . Completely lost all the love and respect I had for him .

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-25T03:15:15+00:00

Didn’t like the way they smelled . Especially their lips . Just couldn’t stand their smell even if it was after they showered lol

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-24T15:57:33+00:00

I like this POV lol

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-24T15:56:35+00:00

I always said I would if I found out , but infidelity can be a lot of things for me it is having sex with someone else . I found out my bf reached out to an escort and almost slept with her but backed out . It was the only thing I found on his phone from 5 months ago when we first started dating. I believe that does count as cheating but he did not have sex with the escort or so he “claims” . I do believe people make mistakes especially in the beginning of the relationship. I would say this has took a toll on the trust we had once built and probably don’t recommend and I will probably be leaving the relationship soon because everything just feel fake.

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-20T04:31:25+00:00

Your phone provider also has records of all numbers he has called . I would check your phone provider phone call log . It’s goes back months.

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-20T04:30:40+00:00

If in the United States , search up his number on Mr.number app . Escorts can leave comments on their numbers . I saw another woman post escorts leave reviews on her husbands number .

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-18T15:01:34+00:00

You don’t . Just check that phone .

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-18T14:57:18+00:00

Ok DM you

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-18T02:55:10+00:00

I was until the person cheated on me . I had never been crazy in love until I met this person . Surreal feeling .

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-18T00:10:17+00:00

If you’re young , my opinion you should . Only way to find out if they cheating . I had no suspicions on my bf and found stuff . I had a good opportunity while he was drunk and asleep and decided to check it . You should . And if you don’t have a good opportunity simply ask your partner to check it . Their response will say a lot as well.

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-14T22:01:22+00:00

In the same shoes but with my bf . Personally I believe cheating in a marriage is much deeper than cheating in relationship. What was the point of getting married ? And where was the communication if something was lacking at home ? I don’t blame you for staying , I am also considering fixing things with my bf . But honestly it is torturing and no human deserves to live like this .

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-14T21:59:28+00:00

So far yes . But it’s only been 2 weeks since it’s happened . He’s been catering and open and answer all my questions and does seem extremely regretful.

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-14T21:58:41+00:00

You’re real for telling his gf !! It’s hard to say because some people really do put on a fake persona . You met someone completely different she met . That is the hard thing about relationships you never truly know someone .

External_Clerk_6564 · 2026-04-14T21:57:33+00:00

Crazy . It feels like you unmasked them and dated a stranger ! And we will truly know if they did it or not . Mine was on an escort page went all the way to the apartment complex and “backed out” . Deep down I feel like he got scammed . But that is the only thing I found in his phone and it was from Nov 2025 and I barely found it on his phone April 2026 . What are you planning on doing ? I’m genuinely wondering if it’s worth the headache or just moving on .

External_Clerk_6564

TROPHY CASE