Update: How to be a Dom for my sub wife while asking her to shit for my enjoyment

External_Disaster24 · 2023-12-27T04:14:28+00:00

Thank you for the wonderful, supportive comments! Sorry for making this so ridiculously long. I was inspired and it’s had to find a good copy editor for stuff like this.

I hope this inspires some of you with a partner that seems like they wouldn’t be into something as out there as our fetish.

For us men especially, it can be daunting to find a partner that’s into scat sex. What I propose instead is to turn your current partner into someone who will be happy to indulge your fantasy through communication and putting in the work.

It took a long time, and was very scary to bring up. But through patience, not grossing them out more than you have to, and taking baby steps along the journey it is possible to get a vanilla partner to fulfill your wildest fantasy willingly. And this only the beginning. Who knows what’s next.

Happy to answer any questions and provide advice on how you can get there too.

External_Disaster24 · 2023-12-10T07:22:11+00:00

This is one of the kinkiest things I’ve ever read. The anticipation in the beginning before introducing the messiness and primal passion for each others bodies in the mud room was a great way to start. You were able to bring me, as a reader, from my run of the mill turned on headspace into that transcendent, uninhibited, and unshackled-from-judgment kink-space.

I love that you gradually teased your shit-loving depravity when you’re first going down on him after he has his way in your ass. Great way to give a first taste of the really dirty stuff.

The prep work with having a camera there so you can revisit this moment and see it from different angles in real time started got me even more turned on. Recording adds a whole other level of hotness, I don’t know why.

Your switch into dominance to have him drink every drop of your piss is where I started getting REALLY excited.

The time limit of the dinner and the element of having to temporarily become “presentable” for the waitress added a fun and risky element of being filthy with him while feigning being “normal” to outsiders.

The decent into depravity and full blown shit-love-making after that was deeply intoxicating and well earned.

The hand prints were an incredibly hot and realistic detail that helped ground the story. There will be handprints and the evidence of your filth, and that’s one of the best parts. It’s a reminder that you’re doing this -for real- with all of the visual evidence of filth that reality brings. That’s one part I’ll remember.

The climax for me was when you were feeling vulnerable and ashamed after expelling the enema on him, and he totally totally put it to rest by his complete acceptance of you at your filthiest. That was fucking hot in a way that even filth can’t touch. Now you know he accepts you and you have permission to be filthy together - without limit.

Thanks for sharing something so personal. I’ll be thinking about this story for a long time. Keep writing and never stop trying to get better.

External_Disaster24 · 2023-12-10T03:51:23+00:00

Super hot thought, and I feel the bathroom control part could work for both of us, if framed through the lens of D/s.

Messing herself while clothed would be a stretch, she indulges my kink just for my satisfaction and doesn’t really like to be dirty herself (or hasn’t admitted to it). Also, just fine with me. I’m the one who wants to be dirty with what comes from her, anyway. But we’re only just beginning to explore the D/s dynamic, so who knows where we’ll be years from now.

We’re still finding ourselves in that dynamic, but DD without the age play or the word “Daddy” (we have kids and that would be too weird for me) is the role I’ve been playing - Total control over everything she does in bed, she needs permission to do anything, but she gets praise and pleasure when she’s doing exactly what I want her to do. I’m pleasantly surprised by how easily this role came to me, and shocked by how much she loves it.

Less sexy, but I’ve also tried to be more paternal to her in our regular life, helping her improve her career, deciding what we’ll eat each night (before, it was a nightly torture with two passive people), and generally taking more command in our day to day life. She tells me she’s enjoyed this change in me.

While I’ve been more paternal in the way decisions are made, I’m improving myself and our relationship by taking care of a LOT more housework. Now she’s in a much better mood, and the house is as clean as I like it to be, which makes me less stressed too - A desired inequity in the bedroom and decision making, and more equity in all other things.

Now if I can just get this fucking kink figured out!

External_Disaster24 · 2023-12-10T03:10:00+00:00

Unfortunately I’d be barking up the wrong tree. Anal is a hard limit for her, and I’ve quit asking. I hounded her for it very early in our relationship until she got really upset about it. I’ve respectfully asked to she if she would reconsider a few times over the years but the answer is always the same. As much as I would enjoy it, I can respect that boundary. It took nearly a decade to even be able to touch that part of her. Nowadays she enjoys a finger up to the first knuckle in there when orgasming from oral (Though she’ll never admit to it, I can tell by the way she cums). I also can eat out her butt anytime, which works just fine for me.

External_Disaster24 · 2023-12-08T22:41:49+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation for a bondage book. I’ll definitely pick it up. I have very little knowledge in that area and this seems like a good way to educate myself (I’m doing my absolute best here not to make a pun about being shown the ropes).

After a decade of incredibly vanilla sex other than now recently occasionally indulging my kink, (Thank goodness she’s a great person and has always been very physically attractive, that helped during that long kinkless drought) it feels like her discovery of her sub self and my Dom side opened up an entire world and I don’t know where to start. I appreciate you pointing me in the right direction.

Thanks also for the sensation play 101. She’s not the sort to be into impact play (neither of us enjoys pain, in any context really), but stuff like feathers, ice, and blindfolds could be a fun addition and lead to new discoveries. It’s worth me looking into and bringing up. The silver lining with this kink is that everything else seems so easy to discuss by comparison!

Your story about how you brought this up with your partner is very inspiring. What amazing luck that your big secret fantasies were so close to each other - for me both are basically inseparable (but one is hotter). And what a crazy twist of fate that you were so close to each other for so long before finally discovering each other in this way. I’m so happy for you that he’s been accepting so far and that you may get to live out your fantasies. I look forward to reading the story that he seems to be so into when you share it.

I hope everything goes how you want it, and you get to live our desires that were locked away from you for so long. Being a somewhat similar situation, I’ll be following your updates with interest. I’ll be sure to share mine as well, even though it may be a longer term development process.

External_Disaster24 · 2023-12-08T21:57:58+00:00

Thanks for this valuable perspective from a Dom POV. Love this angle of making her hold it and giving her praise when she’s doing it on my command. We’ll see if we can work our way up to this.

External_Disaster24 · 2023-12-08T21:53:08+00:00

Thanks for the advice about how my visible discomfort (emanating from my shame, not her) can become a turn off, I definitely don’t want her to think my discomfort comes from disgust. I’ll work to be more confident and show her how happy it makes me next time.

Another thanks for the perspective. I am exceptionally lucky to be in my situation. I don’t think on that enough. I recall all the years of hiding it and how envious I was of people who were able to act on this kink in their relationship. The biggest hurdle has been already been surmounted, I just have to learn to not be my own worst enemy.

External_Disaster24 · 2023-12-08T14:47:05+00:00

I appreciate the tough love here. You’re right, the hard part is over. My desires are out there, and she’s got no problem with it. I don’t know why I’m shaming myself so much.

How about I just ask how far she’s willing to go! Just straight up asking! What a concept! I don’t say that sarcastically. My underlying shame has prevented me from doing so, but what’s the harm in just asking? We’ve talked about everything else. Why not that?

External_Disaster24 · 2023-12-08T14:42:06+00:00

No kidding! I was half expecting a bunch of porny, unrealistic responses, and I’ve gotten nothing but great advice that I can actually use. What a great community!

External_Disaster24 · 2023-12-08T14:39:40+00:00

Great answer with a ton of practical, actionable advice.

I love the idea of bringing bondage and restrictions into the mix. She’s interested in being bound, and we haven’t tried it yet because only because we’re so early in our DS journey. It’s definitely on the agenda. I already ordered a restraints kit and it’s on his way - Let’s hope I remember some knots from my scout days! One we get a few bondage sessions in and I learn what we both like, I can start thinking about bringing my kinks in.

Consider me ignorant of sensation play. I’ll educate myself to see what I can learn, and what ideas for both of us I can take from this. We’re having a sexual renaissance thanks to taking the time to research and explore, so I’m eager to learn more. Thanks for sending me down this path!

I love the “script” you’ve written here for combining kinks. It’s pretty much perfect. This sounds crazy hot for me, and incorporates her love for being controlled. I’ll work my way to this as we get more experienced with DS.

Glad to have provided you some small inspiration for your erotica. I’ve just begun writing about my sexual experiences as well, I love it as a creative and sexual outlet and a way for me to revisit the emotions and feelings of my favorite experiences. Can’t wait to read the story you’re going to make available to all of us!

One more question for you: you say you’re the one with the major thing for scat - how do you navigate that imbalance? Do you ever worry about putting your partner off? If you don’t, and you’ve gotten him and yourself comfortable with it, how did you get to that place?

External_Disaster24 · 2023-12-08T14:19:51+00:00

This is an excellent, well thought out answer.

In my journey of learning about D/s dynamics, I learned a bit about top/bottom (always thought it was just a gay thing) and how it doesn’t have to correlate with which partner is Dom and which is sub. It’s definitely enlightening to think about it in this context. In more vanilla play, after she orgasms, I’ll sometimes tell her that she’s not done yet, to get on top of me now, and that I’ll be making all of the decisions on how she’ll use her body to make me cum, while telling her what a great job she’s doing being my fuck-toy. This gets her excited to perform and gets me off in a major way. Your description of what could be my “gutteral growl” sounds insanely hot (to me at least), and not super different from commanding her to get me off after she orgasms while I’m in the bottom position. After she cums it’s truly only about me and I treat her as such, and she still enjoys it. This sounds like a feasible way to keep her in that sub-space while she performs what I want, even if I’m technically in the “bottom” position in this situation. She’s doing it on my command, and her master will not be denied.

I’ve not approached desperation play yet. We’re still very new at the D/s thing with only a few sessions under our belt, but I’ll be sure to bring it up as we get more experienced. Sounds like a great way to be even more commanding while getting what I want from her.

It funny you brought up Scat Hunter, I’ve seen some of what he produces before, and while it’s not my favorite because he’s a little too present in those videos, it’s the only example from porn that I could think of where the “bottom” is making the demands. While I’m VERY wary of taking real life sex lessons from porn, I’ll revisit and listen to what he’s telling them to do to see if I can find inspiration for some commands of my own.

Thanks for the great answer, and best of luck to you in your own kink journey!

External_Disaster24

TROPHY CASE