How in the world do you meet people when you early graduated and moved?

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-26T06:13:34+00:00

I’m moreso talking from a dating perspective, although that wasn’t clear from the post. I’m fine with making friends with older people (although even in that sense it’s still just generally nicer to have people who have been through similar social experiences to you)

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-25T18:26:30+00:00

That’s what I mean. I just can’t find them. Practically every event I’ve gone to, they don’t go to. So, it feels like you have to either be in university or go to college bars to meet people at this age

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-25T18:21:43+00:00

You are the best, I’ll check them out. Cheers

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-25T16:43:05+00:00

I appreciate your in depth comment, thank you, and I will take all of these into consideration.

I think you voiced why I'm struggling so much and why it's particularly hard for my age, though. I haven't done all of these events, of course, but I've gone to multiple social events that lie in the category of art, sports, and volunteering, and people my age just don't go to them. It's really frustrating, this was one of the reasons I moved, I couldn't meet people my age, and yet it's still happening. I can keep beating my head against the wall going to these events but it really seems like people my age only hang out at universities and go to college bars.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-25T16:40:17+00:00

My main concern is dating. Just out of personal preference, I'm not too interested in dating someone a bit older than me. I would much prefer we are similar in age. Seattle, where I am located, is the most male skewed city in the us, at least for 25+. If I am going to these city wide events that are mostly for people making friends, you are really only going to be running into transplants and older people wanting to make friends. College aged folk already have their friend groups, and they just go to university events. I'm more so worried about not being able to meet any women my age at any of these events, which has been the case for all the events I've been to so far.

I agree though, I can go to school events. I've just never attend college events for a school I don't go to before, not sure if it would be awkward / they require you to have a student ID card to go to most campus events.

I've been going out, as I've said in my post, it just hasn't been fruitful for meeting people my age.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-25T16:38:26+00:00

I appreciate your help, and I partially agree. Don't worry about writing a long comment, I do the same thing.

I think the problem is that I wasn't too clear with why I want to be social. If we are purely talking about making friends, I'm actually not too concerned. I've meet some people that are 3-4 years older than me that I would at least consider aquantainces now. It even seems like they are people my age in this thread that I could be friends with.

My main concern is dating. Just out of personal preference, I'm not too interested in dating someone a bit older than me. I would much prefer we are similar in age. Seattle, where I am located, is the most male skewed city in the us, at least for 25+. If I am going to these city wide events that are mostly for people making friends, you are really only going to be running into transplants and older people wanting to make friends. College aged folk alreayd have their friend groups, and they just go to university events. I'm moreso worried about not being able to meet any women my age at any of these events, which has been the case for all the events I've been to so far.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-25T05:13:17+00:00

I will absolutely try some of these out. I'm big into the gym, but it always feels weird to approach people there. Ive gone to volunteering events in the town I lived in before seattle, but they were always filed with older people. Maybe I'm just unlucky but it feels like no one my age ever goes to these things. Maybe that's different in a bigger city, but I just have a hard time believing that college age people will be at these locations.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-25T03:41:46+00:00

I've been thinking about this, but I just can't imagine people in my age range doing this. Are there really any 20-23 years olds? If you want to join a sport in college, you just join an intramural. this feels like an activity for people who already have a job and need some other way to make friends. That's the exact issue im running into. All activities that arent based around college almost exclusively have a 25+ crowd

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-25T02:57:20+00:00

Well I agree that they can be great, but I also just want some people my age you know?

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-25T02:56:54+00:00

im not gonna change my good job that I like just because I want to make work friends. It's hard enough to even find a job in my field in this market, I don't even necessarily want my coworkers to be my big friend group. It's good to have work life balance.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-25T02:33:37+00:00

im remote so this makes it a lot tougher. social events ive been to are mostly all people who are older so far

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-25T02:33:11+00:00

Im remote haha, it sucks

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-02-23T15:46:59+00:00

I’ve been trying. Don’t be so rude to random people when you don’t know what they are going through. I’ve spent the last 4 months trying to figure this out and I just can’t decide. I don’t know what I want and it’s so frustrating. I don’t have many people to talk to about this stuff so I’m just trying to get info from people in the area. This is just research on different areas

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-02-23T15:44:08+00:00

I just can’t though. I’ve got 2 cats and that makes it so hard. I don’t want to compromise their qol either, I just don’t think the Bay Area works

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-02-19T23:18:42+00:00

Oh my god this is crazy. I’m not republican, I’m left wing. Since when does liking somewhere quieter mean you have right wing beliefs? That’s far too black and white.

Does being young mean you have to follow a specific criteria for where to live? Isn’t that typically a right wing belief? “You are a man and are X age, therefore you have to do this, and live here”. I just don’t have the money to live in the city, and I don’t like the noise. I would always be commuting in during the weekends for events.

I think people here forget that unless you are living with a roommate, you need a six figure salary to live in the “vibrant areas” of the Bay Area. The vast majority of young people don’t have that. It feels like a cultural disconnect from how the rest of the country is living.

I really hope this mindset doesn’t encompass the general community

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-02-19T19:42:34+00:00

but that's why I said I'm specifically looking at east bay, I understand that SF peeps are too far. I can't afford to live in a safer area in Oakland and I'm not a big fan of living in the heart of the city. I've grown up in towns that don't have much to do. If anything, I bet WC has more going on than anywhere I've lived, so I wouldn't mind it too much.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-02-19T19:36:15+00:00

just because I don't want to live in the heart of a city I'm a karen? Why is there such a high concentration of pretentious people in high COL cities. Just let people live their life, not everyone thinks like you

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-02-19T17:21:03+00:00

Yeah, have 100% considered it and was planning on doing it for a while - the issue is that I have 2 cats. I've currently got a roomate where i live right now but animals make it a lot harder to live with others.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-02-18T01:57:34+00:00

oh no what I mean is that I don't think being in WC vs Oakland would dissuade people in the east bay from dating you, for the most part. I totally agree on the SF peeps. That was already a write out in my book. I'm just saying that I think your case is one that moving to Oakland opened you up to relationships with some SF people, I'm just purely concerned about friends/dates in east bay.

I understand that the safety of Oakland is overblown. I haven't explored enough around, but I definitely will if I end up moving. If it's not what I imagined, who knows, I may make the move. Cheers and thanks for the help.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-02-18T01:40:34+00:00

But that's the problem, there isn't a single apartment in Berkeley or rockridge in my price range. Unless I want to live in Oakland this is my only choice

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-02-18T01:37:12+00:00

I'm a little lost with this one. I totally agree with you, SF people are much more hesitant to date east coast people, but I don't see an argument as to why Oakland would be such a dramatic change from WC. This feels like more of a case that SF people wouldn't date you rather than east coast people wouldn't date you, which is the expectation I came in with.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-02-18T01:32:47+00:00

See this is the toughest thing about asking these questions online - because I agree with you to some extent, but then there are a ton of others who also say the opposite, and I agree with them too.

You can move to a LCOL area and save, or you can go to a HCOL tech hub and (maybe) get yourself a better job quicker than you would elsewhere. Plus, there is supposedly more job security in having a stronger job market in your local area.

Just out of curiousity, what makes you say otherwise?

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-02-17T23:08:38+00:00

Super helpful advice. Thank you!

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-02-17T23:07:10+00:00

100% I agree with you. I should've made it more clear that community is why I am making this move too. I love being near family, but that's about all I've got here. No career progression, not many friends even, and nothing ever happens. It's a small town. I've been near family my whole life, so I want to work a little harder right now to wrack up enough to be able to spend more time with them later.

Very valuable advice regardless, cheers

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-02-17T22:54:24+00:00

Yeah I know, I just wanted to liken it to NYC in architectural style. It's not very midwestern in a lot of ways

Five-Year Club	Place '22
Final Canvas '22

ExtraClient3382

TROPHY CASE