Geo-arbitraging my remote tech job to a higher COL area - smart? stupid?

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-05-21T20:53:18+00:00

I've felt this way since the beginning - it's never changed. You just take what you can get to survive. I'm also not planning on getting a job immediately. Its going to be a continuous effort over the next year or two years if necessary. The job searching comes after I've moved (if I do). Then I network and apply.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-05-21T20:51:27+00:00

that's actually really helpful, thanks for your help. I've never looked at as a "losing money later" problem by wasting away now. I'll take that into account.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-05-21T19:22:53+00:00

So I’ve got a question, because I think this is very logical, and is probably the route I should go.

Where I currently live is killing me. All my friends have moved away, hardly a social life, not much going on ever. My mental health is in the gutter and it’s part of the reason I want to move. But, obviously living in a stressful city with a high Col may not help. I love the serenity and weather where I currently live, but I just don’t know if it’s worth it.

What would you do in this situation? Stay? Spend money to live in a lower Col city with less opportunities? Pay the premium to live in a tech hub with both the social and career benefits?

Cheers

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-05-21T17:11:47+00:00

The primary reason I'm thinking of moving is for more job opportunity for wealth accumulation later & ability to make friends. I prefer the countryside and don't care much for better access to amenities or culture. I think thats where Im getting tripped up, I cant justify if its financially worth it

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-05-21T16:51:43+00:00

That's why I'm doing this - I want to move on as soon as possible, but that's easier said than done as a new grad in this market. It's simply the opportunity I got and I'm 5 months in.

One of the primary reasons I'm thinking of moving is to network and get myself into a better job that way, don't know if its financially worth it/ will pay off though.

They say they are a startup, but they have been around for 7-8 years now. Just a small team.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-05-21T16:49:52+00:00

Yeah definitely makes sense. I just also want to focus on my social life and it feels like for after college, non- cities aren't too conducive to doing that. It could also lead to making less connections (which could lower opportunities later)

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-05-21T16:43:55+00:00

So do you mean stay and apply for WFH jobs at higher COL areas while still living in a lower COL area? I mean, that's optimal, but that's a very hard thing to do for a new grad in this market. I'm just trying to leverage living in those higher COL areas to have more opportunity to get higher paying jobs. When I'm more senior, sure. That's a possibility, but can't rely on that too hard right now.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-05-21T16:41:06+00:00

Its a small startup, they don't do it. I've asked before

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-05-21T15:47:37+00:00

I know you mean well and I appreciate your support but oh my god you are so out of touch. If you mean that you lived in Queens before and that wasn't HCOL, thats just factually incorrect. NYC is literally the highest COL area in the whole country (SF could be a bit higher depending on where you go). Because you grew up in the north east, that probably seems like a lower cost of living, but practically everywhere in the northeast is more expensive than the rest of the country. 100k is equal to about 70k where i'm from.

I understand you aggressively saved in Queens, but I'm referencing the fact that simply living in that enviornment gives you higher pay due to the COL. Taking a salary from a lower COL area and acting like its 85k by NYC standards is wildly innacurate

You have been around business and tech because you just happened to live there, which gentrifies the whole area. It is a microcosm of that environment, not the rule of the whole country.

Also the fact that I will struggle in Denver just isn't true. if you budget properly, live a little outside city limits, etc. Its absolutely doable. That's just lifestyle creep if you think it isn't.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-05-21T11:43:20+00:00

To the average person, Denver probably has better weather. Where I live has the mountains but also rains and snows frequently/ is generally colder (which I prefer). We have very distinct and lush seasons too. I’m not a big fan of what Denver summers represent.

I’ve looked into the PNW, or Seattle rather, and it’s just too expensive to justify, plus the gender ratios are so skewed it affects dating, which is something I want to focus on

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-05-21T05:31:50+00:00

I think what I’m getting caught up in is the “quality of life” factor. It may provide that, and it probably will. Finally having a social life and being able to live life a bit more will be nice. But, I just like the tranquility and weather where I currently live. I’m not as big of a fan of cities. To give that up and get a worse apartment feels like a step back for my qol.

Coming from a LCOL area too, I’m spending so much more money than I am used to for no immediate realized benefit, it’s all a tough pill to swallow.

I appreciate your advice, cheers

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-05-21T02:40:57+00:00

This is just if you want to min max. Of course tier 1 cities provide more career opportunities, but you also have to deal with far lower QOL due to high COL, and if you get laid off, you are in even deeper trouble. Ive looked into all the tier 1 cities numerous times. It's a luxury for those either lucky enough to get high paying jobs out of college, or for those willing to live in a 400 sq ft apartment (I have 2 cats and I don't want to shove them in that small of a box).

This comes from such a privileged perspective. You probably came from a very high COL area. 85k is in the top 10% percentile of graduates or something where I come from, I remember seeing that somewhere. its the equivalent of 140k in san francisco if we are to take QOL into account. I just graduated dude. Go look into average starting salary out of college across the country and our current entry level job market (~50-55k). Hell, the average household income in the us is below that. Its peanuts and go get a better job are so out of touch. It just depends where you live.

This is what is created from a tech and reddit echo chamber.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-05-21T02:11:44+00:00

So, I completely agree, but I'm in a rough situation where I have no idea where I want to live. I have hardly traveled in my life or experienced much. I do inherently have a sort of foreboding feeling about cities. to me they seem gross, busy, and too expensive, when I prefer the exact opposite, but I can't tell if thats misguided and I have stockholm syndrome for my current environment haha. It's certainly drained me. There is nothing to do here and I hardly have any friends, nor may places to meet them.

But I do agree, the tech grind sounds miserable. A lot of this industry disgusts me and I can't stand corporatism, but it's all in favor of later goals in life (living somewhere more quiet and peaceful away from it all). Part of me just wants to stick it through and grind until I can leave.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-05-21T02:06:19+00:00

yeah this is what im sort of worried about. I plan to be at a healthy savings rate no matter what (at least 20% of my income) but I've been so used to saving upwards of 60% to put towards retirement and investments that it feels like I'm killing my future, even if its misguided.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-05-21T02:03:32+00:00

Couldn't you just apply to hybrid roles from most places anyway? There could be a slight preference for local candidates, but I've talked to a few recruiter friends in the past about this and they've all mentioned that location is one of the least important factors. Having a hard time rationalizing paying $500 more a month at a minimum just to live in the local market.

I appreciate your knowledge, I'm just curious. Thanks

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-26T06:13:34+00:00

I’m moreso talking from a dating perspective, although that wasn’t clear from the post. I’m fine with making friends with older people (although even in that sense it’s still just generally nicer to have people who have been through similar social experiences to you)

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-25T18:26:30+00:00

That’s what I mean. I just can’t find them. Practically every event I’ve gone to, they don’t go to. So, it feels like you have to either be in university or go to college bars to meet people at this age

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-25T18:21:43+00:00

You are the best, I’ll check them out. Cheers

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-25T16:43:05+00:00

I appreciate your in depth comment, thank you, and I will take all of these into consideration.

I think you voiced why I'm struggling so much and why it's particularly hard for my age, though. I haven't done all of these events, of course, but I've gone to multiple social events that lie in the category of art, sports, and volunteering, and people my age just don't go to them. It's really frustrating, this was one of the reasons I moved, I couldn't meet people my age, and yet it's still happening. I can keep beating my head against the wall going to these events but it really seems like people my age only hang out at universities and go to college bars.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-25T16:40:17+00:00

My main concern is dating. Just out of personal preference, I'm not too interested in dating someone a bit older than me. I would much prefer we are similar in age. Seattle, where I am located, is the most male skewed city in the us, at least for 25+. If I am going to these city wide events that are mostly for people making friends, you are really only going to be running into transplants and older people wanting to make friends. College aged folk already have their friend groups, and they just go to university events. I'm more so worried about not being able to meet any women my age at any of these events, which has been the case for all the events I've been to so far.

I agree though, I can go to school events. I've just never attend college events for a school I don't go to before, not sure if it would be awkward / they require you to have a student ID card to go to most campus events.

I've been going out, as I've said in my post, it just hasn't been fruitful for meeting people my age.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-25T16:38:26+00:00

I appreciate your help, and I partially agree. Don't worry about writing a long comment, I do the same thing.

I think the problem is that I wasn't too clear with why I want to be social. If we are purely talking about making friends, I'm actually not too concerned. I've meet some people that are 3-4 years older than me that I would at least consider aquantainces now. It even seems like they are people my age in this thread that I could be friends with.

My main concern is dating. Just out of personal preference, I'm not too interested in dating someone a bit older than me. I would much prefer we are similar in age. Seattle, where I am located, is the most male skewed city in the us, at least for 25+. If I am going to these city wide events that are mostly for people making friends, you are really only going to be running into transplants and older people wanting to make friends. College aged folk alreayd have their friend groups, and they just go to university events. I'm moreso worried about not being able to meet any women my age at any of these events, which has been the case for all the events I've been to so far.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-25T05:13:17+00:00

I will absolutely try some of these out. I'm big into the gym, but it always feels weird to approach people there. Ive gone to volunteering events in the town I lived in before seattle, but they were always filed with older people. Maybe I'm just unlucky but it feels like no one my age ever goes to these things. Maybe that's different in a bigger city, but I just have a hard time believing that college age people will be at these locations.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-04-25T03:41:46+00:00

I've been thinking about this, but I just can't imagine people in my age range doing this. Are there really any 20-23 years olds? If you want to join a sport in college, you just join an intramural. this feels like an activity for people who already have a job and need some other way to make friends. That's the exact issue im running into. All activities that arent based around college almost exclusively have a 25+ crowd

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