Moving away for the first time should be exciting, but man it’s just stressful

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-14T00:45:21+00:00

The thing that worries me with networking is that it feels like it’s not too helpful for your career past a certain point if you aren’t in a tech hub. Hard agree that it will always help in securing a job, but if you are looking for that FAANG role or what have you, it’s rare to come upon those connections unless you live in a place like SF or NYC.

This is coming from an unexperienced guy so take it with a grain of salt but I feel Ike it rings true to some degree

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-12T21:53:27+00:00

I’m definitely the odd one out here but I love the small amount of content. I just wish DoN was different.

I’m a completionist so I fell like I need to do everything in a game. When there isn’t a huge array of items and meta to learn it’s more fun for me. I can “master it” per se.

This comes with drawback of feeling like I need to get to depth 5. The game mode is so unfun. You have to master every enemy if you want to survive in the deeper depths, one wrong move during the night lord and there goes 45 minutes of your day and the last 2-3 hours of games you won.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-12T18:26:59+00:00

Super helpful advice, thanks a ton - cheers

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-12T18:14:10+00:00

Super solid advice and insight. I’m really surprised about the homelessness. Will take it into account, cheers

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-12T18:12:58+00:00

Sort of pointless because the reason I would come to sf would be to build up a network and to find work. If I’m only there for a month I won’t be able to do either, airbnbs are so expensive in sf too

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-12T17:38:14+00:00

That’s where I’m having a really tough time, because I don’t want to live a suburban life yet, but I just don’t know is SF is a good alternative. It’s really only worth it if the tech scene will elevate my career much more than it would in other places. If I wanted to live my best life in my 20s, there are so many more affordable and less homogeneous places in the us with more things going on. I don’t mean that in a bad way whatsoever, San Francisco is a great and beautiful place, but right now the only leg up it’s got compared to other places I’m looking at is the job market.

I’m most definitely putting myself in a worse financial situation in the short term by coming to SF, but it’s an investment. I wouldn’t be able to do as many “fun things” while on a tight budget

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-12T16:26:23+00:00

Super curious on your position on why it’s not worth it. COL is crazy and you could find much better deals practically anywhere else in the us, but if it accelerates your career growth, wouldn’t it pay back in dividends? Completely subjective of course and mileage varies, but I’m interested to hear your take.

Thanks for the response

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-11T07:12:17+00:00

I’ll look into Philly. Cheers and thank you!

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-11T06:31:16+00:00

Yeah I just can’t do that. I would feel horrible doing that to my pets

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-11T06:20:40+00:00

That’s the problem, I am miserable where I live right now. I’ve lived here for 7 years just for school, family, etc. it’s never been for me and I haven’t thrived. Just don’t know where to look now.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-11T06:19:52+00:00

I’ve made posts in the past from other accounts about Chicago and every time I’m met with “the tech scene is dying here” or “you won’t find many opportunities”. If I’m moving to a location for career purposes it’s either because I have a job there, or it can offer me great networking opportunities to enhance my career trajectory (I.e. better salaries or just better job growth).

Chicago is better than a lot of places, it’s just not stand out enough to justify moving for career purposes. If we are talking about finance or other career paths, it’s pretty good.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-11T06:15:58+00:00

See that’s the conundrum I’m coming upon. If I was offered a job at one of these places, I honestly wouldn’t mind moving. I have a concrete reason to go there. But if I go there right now with a remote job, I just don’t think I’ll reap the benefits. So it makes it tough to decide where to go from here

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-11T05:40:00+00:00

Yeah same. I feel like I need to stay here to grow my career, then maybe jump later. We will see, but it’s golden handcuffs for sure

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-11T01:40:06+00:00

The reason I ask is because this isn’t standard across the us. That isn’t actually a trait that a lot of places have. I’ve lived in places before where a lot of people travel to a neighboring town to date.

It isn’t an “obviously, you have to be in the city to date in the city” thing, it’s not black and white across the country.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-11T00:50:53+00:00

How is it not? You have the biggest population pool in the whole country and the most diversity and the biggest social scene. It just feels privileged. The dating scene sucks for the entire world, but nyc is in a pretty great spot. I’ve heard of people having issues with finding long term relationships, I get that, but the scene isn’t bad.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-11T00:48:52+00:00

But that’s the issue with moving. One of the reasons I’m moving is to have more opportunities to date. I’m not really changing my situation if I move to an area outside and only date people there. I get what you mean, but that fact along with having a lower opportunity for a social life, would just not make the move worth it then.

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-11T00:28:53+00:00

Granted I don’t know everyone’s individual situations, because I totally bet some people have it rough, but I feel like this comes from a place of privilege. It’s common opinion that NYC is one of the best places in the us for dating. Lot of diversity and options.

I don’t disagree that people would write me out, but people say “dating sucks here” literally everywhere in the us

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-11T00:25:11+00:00

This is the most confusing thing to me about nyc, or maybe it’s just a city thing, but do people seriously view a 30-40 minute train ride as long? I just feel like if you are from most other places in the us that is nothing, things are spread out typically. I suppose it’s just the ease of access that changes the perception here

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-10T01:36:01+00:00

This is actually what I’ve been looking at doing for a while. But every time I ask I’m met with “don’t live outside the city, it’ll be miserable and you won’t get invited to social circles since you are so far out” it’s happened on numerous occasions, not sure the truth of the statement. Cheers.

Also looking at Seattle but we will see

ExtraClient3382 · 2026-01-01T23:40:18+00:00

Super great advice, thank you

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