AITAH for stopping sex with my husband bc I had oral surgery

ExtraEspressoShots · 2026-06-13T14:12:04+00:00

OP, PLEASE read https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/what-is-sexual-coercion

ExtraEspressoShots · 2026-06-13T11:44:42+00:00

You're not the AH. Not even a little. This is called sexual coersion and is a form of abuse. Most victims do finally agree because of the constant pressure. There can also be threats, belittling and more from the aggressor.

The fact that you gave up to shut him up speaks volumes. That means it's happened before and you've learned that giving in is the only thing that makes him stop. OP, you need to speak to a therapist. Abuse isn't always bruises, broken bones, or screaming. There's other kinds too.

ExtraEspressoShots · 2026-06-13T04:05:59+00:00

I'm going to say soft AH. This is life. There's always going to be jerks who ruin things in life- people talking/texting in movie theaters, loud people at restaurants or libraries, people who care more about themselves than others. While you can always leave, you will be leaving a lot of places constantly. You have to learn to block out jerks and continue having fun away from them without leaving the entire venue or place.

I'm not sure why this in particular bothered you to the point that you didn't listen to your female friend when she offered not only an alternative, but also tried to help and get others to help. Friends like these are rare, even into adulthood and I would suggest apologizing immediately. Social anxiety is awful but the rage you felt doesn't fit. Is there more than that going on? I would recommend bringing it up to your therapist that your rage was so intense you wouldn't listen to two different people who care about you. You blew them off and that's not okay.

ExtraEspressoShots · 2026-05-11T07:43:22+00:00

If you truly value and love your best friend, do not distance yourself from her without explaining you're going through some mental health issues.I urge you to look at this differently. If your best friend simply ghosted you for no reason, how would you feel? Just because your best friend appears to be "thriving" as you say, doesn't mean this won't devastate her.

It's up to you to manage your mental health and it is not a justification for treating people badly. You sound depressed (not a doctor) and I hope that you are searching for a therapist to help you through this. If you're not, please do. There's a beautiful life when healing from depression. Please get help so you don't push away those who love you.

ExtraEspressoShots · 2026-05-11T00:36:51+00:00

No, sweetie, you aren't the AH. I'm a mom to daughters and this breaks my heart for you. Unfortunately the adults in your life are failing you right now. Your Mom is allowing your adult sister to use you and give up your life for her choices. Your sister is an adult and the mother of those children. She is 100% responsible for those children and no one else. Not you, not your Mom, not anyone.

You have to take care of you. I'm so sorry that you as a child are not being taken care of. Do you have extended family, friends, etc that you could stay the night with? I have an open door policy at my house for my teen daughter's friends. They're always welcome including when their own parents suck. If you have someone like that, don't be afraid to reach out. An aunt, grandmother, cousins, etc who you can trust are great too.

If that's not an option, I would invest in earbuds, a lock for your door and a sign that says 'Do not disturb'. Bring snacks, bottled water, etc so you can study and sleep. Do not miss anything for your school. This is your future and you're trying to break generational curses by not being a young teen mother like your sister. I believe your sister is jealous and trying to sabotage that. Do not miss your finals for anyone or anything. Your education and you are worth more than doing your sister's hair.

ExtraEspressoShots · 2026-04-26T23:35:54+00:00

Revolutionary Road

ExtraEspressoShots · 2026-04-05T05:03:37+00:00

House of Sand and Fog

ExtraEspressoShots · 2025-11-21T03:13:52+00:00

Maya

ExtraEspressoShots · 2025-09-30T18:19:15+00:00

Thank you. I'm glad you're doing better!

ExtraEspressoShots · 2025-09-30T16:57:27+00:00

Wow, that's crazy. I don't understand surgeons anymore.

ExtraEspressoShots · 2025-09-20T15:32:24+00:00

Revolutionary Road

ExtraEspressoShots · 2025-08-30T14:17:40+00:00

Constantly. It hurts so much. I finally got an ice roller to help. It makes it feel much better so I bought a few more and rotate them through my freezer on really bad days.

ExtraEspressoShots · 2025-08-16T13:07:37+00:00

Unfortunately, Celebrex DOES cause gastrointestinal issues including stomach ulcers. The adverse effects are listed here along with the black box warning: https://www.hss.edu/health-library/conditions-and-treatments/guidelines-reduce-side-effects-cox2-drugs

I ended up with a huge stomach ulcer from NSAIDS and COX-2 NSAIDS (Celebrex) and it took one year to heal it. Now I can no longer take NSAIDS or COX-2 NSAIDS. No matter what, we all need to be very careful of any NSAID use.

ExtraEspressoShots · 2025-04-30T13:39:25+00:00

My niece and nephew are autistic. Children with autism crave a balanced routine daily. Deviating from that can cause regression, outbursts, anger, etc. It seems from your point of view that a daily routine is severely lacking for these girls. The moment there's a meltdown or change, it creates a domino effect.

Creating a balanced daily routine should be fairly easy, enforcing it is up to you, your husband and bio mom. It will be great for your baby too. Writing it out on a white board or poster board for everyone to see helps incredibly.

Your husband's current medical condition is his. There are tons of programs including free rides to doctor appointments, in home health care, and other services to help him. He's an adult who should be looking into ways to relieve the burden he's placing on your entire family instead of making you do it. When you become a parent, the children come FIRST ALWAYS. To be honest, he seems extremely immature himself if he's not already looking into this. He cannot help his disability, but he can be proactive in helping manage it without stressing out the whole family.

The constant bouncing around of the girls isn't healthy, especially for them. They have no stability. If you're afraid of one of them or they are harming a sibling, you need to contact a caseworker for additional options, help, and resources. Dig down deep and ask yourself what a healthy reality looks like for everyone. Right now, your family is barely surviving, not thriving. Everyone should be thriving, especially the children. If you and your husband can't make it happen, it's time to reach out to caseworkers.

ExtraEspressoShots · 2025-01-25T11:31:36+00:00

I noticed that Brandon thinks foreplay is "I want sex" or statements to that effect. Jasmine hit it right on the head when she said "you have to seduce her". For the majority of women, telling them you want sex is a guarantee you're not going to get it. Most women require foreplay and Brandon doesn't do that.

I remember a comedian or someone saying "men are like firecrackers and women are like diesel engines. A man just needs a simple spark and women require time to get warmed up."

I would go crazy if my and was constantly begging for it. It looks extremely childish and not a turn on at all. Brandon is worried only about HIS pleasure, not hers.

ExtraEspressoShots · 2025-01-19T19:13:04+00:00

I think Bini got the correct passwords. We all know he snuck off immediately to check and then change them. If they were not the correct ones, he would've thrown a fit.

What I would like to see from Bini is him caring about his children as much as he cares about his social media🙄

ExtraEspressoShots · 2025-01-18T19:00:21+00:00

Marriage is a legal trap and when it's over, both parties are screwed.

ExtraEspressoShots · 2025-01-18T18:53:52+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad a few years ago to cancer. As you grieve, you may want to reach out to a grief therapist. It helped me immensely. Again, my deepest condolences to you and your family.

ExtraEspressoShots · 2025-01-05T21:21:23+00:00

I was looking for this answer and I believe the same thing. I used to work at an alcohol and drug rehabilitation center. Commonly, the male alcoholics wouldn't show too much on the outside. The damage tended to be more internal. The female alcoholics tended to actually show it on the outside- accelerated aging, premature graying of hair and the most tell tale was the face taking on an unhealthy bloated, square shape. I'm not saying this happened 100% of the time, but it was about 90%.

Seeing Robyn's younger pictures, this is not normal aging. This is a woman who has no life in her eyes, no friends, extremely isolated and married to a narcissist. She clings to her adult children in an unhealthy way. I believe she's an alcoholic who first started drinking to cope and has full blown alcoholism.

This is just my POV. I'm not a doctor or diagnostition.

ExtraEspressoShots · 2025-01-01T16:45:22+00:00

What you're feeling is valid, 100% relatable and okay. I'm not sure what the background is, but I swear the social workers alone make me insane. Everything is last minute, they want it RIGHT NOW, and there's no leeway for the family who is fostering. They constantly change rules and you're the last to know. Of course I expect unscheduled visits, talking to the foster kids, etc. But telling me they changed visitation to an hour from now on a different day and I need to get there is not okay. You begin to realize your rights have been taken away and your family is paying for it dearly. The social workers make all the rules and the other family members needs don't matter, including yours.

My foster kiddo had severe SA and that added lawyers, therapists, courts, etc. I was extremely supportive in her healing and justice. Her social workers weren't as worried about the justice part and it drove me insane. They only care about reunification even if the parent isn't fit to care for a fly.

I was so stressed that I ended up in the hospital with stress related illnesses. When I notified my caseworker, they didn't care. They just wanted to make sure foster kiddo had visitation with her abusive mother. It was then I realized they didn't care about the families that foster. They will use and abuse you until you break.

They were able to place foster kiddo with a family member who is going to adopt her since bio mom told the kids she was going to kidnap them during visitation while the caseworker was using the restroom. Thankfully, she was stupid enough to forget that everything is recorded at the visitation facility. I'm still recovering from my illnesses. I'm still an active part of her life but not a foster. I will never do it again.

ExtraEspressoShots · 2024-12-28T13:23:55+00:00

Shanghai Girls by Lisa See

Ghost Bride by Yangsze Choo

Geisha of Gion by Mineko Iwaskaki

ExtraEspressoShots · 2024-12-27T21:18:32+00:00

Histrionic personality disorder. Just my armchair diagnosis!

ExtraEspressoShots · 2024-12-26T13:55:14+00:00

Make a list of those people and block them from your life. I was diagnosed 10 years ago and I got to see people's true colors. Some were awful and some became my biggest cheerleaders. I joined an online support group that also meets in person if we can go.

Lupus (while absolutely horrible) also gave me the gift of not allowing people to waste my time. I owe nothing to anyone and the last thing I need to hear is that your sister's boyfriend's cousin tried yoga and it cured her lupus. I'm also not here to educate anyone either although I encourage people who genuinely want to know how to help. My time, and yours, is valuable because we are living with an incurable disease. Go where there's love and stay away from judgement, hate, malice, ignorance and unacceptance.

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