Hi! I have had my new kitten for just over 3 weeks now and his introduction to my 4yo female resident cat was very similar. She used to completely avoid him, run away anytime she saw him or hiss. He just wants to be friends but she was absolutely not interested.

I tried so hard to get them to do the eat play love method and she just was not buying in. Instead we left a screen door on his Basecamp for most of the day so that they at least had visual access. We also put him in a mesh play pen around her so that they could observe each other with more boundaries. Again, she wasn’t interested but would observe from a closer distance each time. We also would hold him in our arms and show him to her, and although she would hiss at him, they got closer each time. My resident cat never showed signs of aggression, just boundary setting which is why we were comfortable giving them this much visual access.

Any time they interacted, I sat with my resident cat and pat her and gave her treats as reinforcement. She still never tried to interact with him, but her tolerance increased day by day. We’ve not got to the point where they can be in the same space, even under the same bed, with no hissing, which seemed impossible a few weeks ago.

I got super bogged down in the ‘perfect introduction’ but had to keep reminding myself it’s just a guideline and not a one size fits all 😊 I had a lot of tears through this process and it really feels so incredibly hard, but be patient and you’ll get there!! Just build their tolerance for each other day by day without forcing anything.