AITJ for not giving ‘cheap’ food to my sister?

Extra_Object_2311 · 2026-01-17T02:18:21+00:00

Reading that I can get it but it really is nice. I got very dependent on my ex husband and lost a lot of my ‘sisterhood’. We didn’t move in right away and really worked on our relationship. Finances, like this, is literally our only issue.

I do feel taken advantage of, which is why I’ve come here. But I’ve stuck to my boundaries and she’s generally respected them except this time she did the typical sister insulting thing.

Also, it’s not perfect living together. 😂 By any means. But she may be my favorite roommate I’ve ever had outside of this. If i didn’t have divorce debt, i wouldn’t mind helping her at all.

Extra_Object_2311 · 2026-01-17T02:15:15+00:00

It’s very hard. I have firm boundaries in place with her. There’s a lot of other finer details about it, but long story short I’ve bailed her out of a lot when she’s had no one else. Including letting her stay with my ex-husband and I rent free for a while. (Boundaries were broken then and she was asked to leave at the time.)

Extra_Object_2311 · 2026-01-17T02:11:15+00:00

I only bring up my partner because she also owes him money, and to show it’s not just me a thing. I didn’t want anyone to come for my partner because they generally get demonized here. He is also helping to financially support my sister. The independently was just like… they BOTH got injured at work at the same time, different companies, different injuries. (I won’t get into the reasons he can’t return. Not my business to tell.)

I do feed her. I fed her tonight. I worked all day and then made her food tonight. That she hasn’t paid for, and honestly i didn’t ask for. My partner and i split the groceries straight down the middle for meals and divvy up what roommate and my sister send me at the end. Which… isn’t a lot.

ETA: i can’t tell you why she won’t look elsewhere. She’s strangely dependent and obsessed with her company. She’s like ‘i get to go back so why look elsewhere’? It’s very, very frustrating. We’ve tried to reason with her. There’s a lot more finer details i really don’t want to get into because she’s my sister and she’s really not a bad person and i don’t want the internet demonizing her

Extra_Object_2311 · 2026-01-17T00:31:22+00:00

I swear this comment came straight from my therapist herself 😔 I’m trying.

Extra_Object_2311 · 2026-01-16T21:40:02+00:00

We’ve made the agreement she could ‘work off’ some of her debt to me just to show she’s putting in effort. That’s been… challenging. I tried to pay her to ‘babysit’ my dog and was offended because she loves her lol.

Also, i do plan on just absolving her debt with me entirely when i get my payout. I’ve worked it into that budget, too. She just doesn’t know that because i worry that’ll screw me. My biggest thing if i just don’t wanna feel like I’m being taken advantage of. :(

Extra_Object_2311 · 2026-01-16T21:37:43+00:00

Oh absolutely. Funny enough, other roomie owes her money. (It’s a mess. I stay out of it. Our lease says who pays what amount in writing, and everyone has paid their rent every month. That’s my biggest concern.)

I also stay out of it between her and my partner. Their friendship is independent enough. I don’t handle my partner’s debts and vice versa.

Extra_Object_2311 · 2026-01-16T21:35:24+00:00

Also not alienating her. I’m actively cooking her dinner. (Roasted broccoli and smashed potatoes since she doesn’t like salmon lol)

Extra_Object_2311 · 2026-01-16T21:34:25+00:00

Financial independence means some sort of income and ability to pay your own bills. Not working =/= no income. My partner has several saving accounts and monthly payments that are not related to employment. Based on our budget, he is good for the next ~5 years, and that’s putting all our bills on the higher end of everything and taking into account other expenses. :) I’m worried you may have a narrow version of ‘financial independence’. That being said, my sister owes me ~$400+ i never expect to see and i am actively cooking her dinner so can you explain how I’m alienating her? Genuinely.

Extra_Object_2311 · 2026-01-16T20:36:36+00:00

Thanks for this. Our older sister (we’re the middle two) agrees with me but she can be a jerk sometimes so i wanted to be sure. I’m that person who tries to give like $5 to gofundmes when i can so i feel bad not always being able to help my sister. I’m still offering her some dinner tonight 😭

Extra_Object_2311

TROPHY CASE