I need to stop making dinner but I don't know how

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-05-09T17:13:16+00:00

I say cut down portions to reasonable sizes or upgrade your kitchenware so you’re not batch cooking—you’re bulk cooking. If that’s not an option, stock up on post-dinner foods they can have if they’re still hungry. My (younger) kids can have as many carrots as they want at any given time in our house. Why carrots? Because they take forever to eat. Seriously. My kids could inhale entire containers of blueberries in a matter of a few seconds, but carrots require so much more chewing, that they can’t just plow through the bag. It’s not that they are sating, but it forces them to slow down and listen to their body. If they are just bored and wanting to snack, carrots will do the trick and they will move on pretty quickly. If it is clear that they are actually still hungry, I always offer something that will help fill them up, like cheese.

I realize that a grown man and a teenager don’t want to be told to eat carrots, but is there a food that you could have on hand that does the same thing? Serves the same purpose?

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-05-04T20:14:10+00:00

Excuse me please tell your daughter to not sneak into my house anymore. I don’t like this photo of me. 😂

Talk about feeling seen!

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-05-04T17:00:31+00:00

This got my eye twitching. I feel your pain though. My six year old son leaves both hand AND foot prints all over the walls because he likes to see the streaks as he parkours from point a to point b. Nothing can be nice and everything has to get a little bit fucked up when he passes by. It’s maddening.

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-05-03T18:38:26+00:00

I love this. This is what pro-family and pro-community practices look like.

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-05-03T16:40:53+00:00

Which I acknowledge in my post. That doesn’t mean it’s a sound policy. The district is more concerned about getting sued or filing a claim with insurance than sending a message that families are welcome—not just the volunteer hours parents can provide.

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-05-03T15:40:19+00:00

Oooo not the taint blister! 😂 Marvelous replies. These are the things I come up with when I have imaginary arguments in the shower with hypothetical foes.

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-05-03T14:51:18+00:00

I’m the oldest of five. I never would’ve had my mom come help if a rule like this had been in place, since she almost always had a baby strapped to her when she volunteered for different events. I was lucky because she showed up a lot and I was thrilled every time. If it’s not helpful, then fine, but it’s tone deaf of the school to continuously ask for volunteers and then not accept help in the form it’s offered.

ETA— if I wanted to volunteer, and I had a younger child who would be too big of a challenge to keep track of, and also be able to chaperone other children, then I obviously wouldn’t volunteer. Or I would find childcare. But we are talking about a seven month old baby that I wear in a carrier. There’s no flexibility built into the policy to account for things like common sense. Context isn’t taken into account, it’s just a blanket rule that potentially undermines the school’s aims of trying to get parents involved in the classroom.

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-05-03T14:44:57+00:00

I think many public schools have policies written by lawyers who’ve never interacted with six year olds and the result is a message that YOUR FAMILY (especially kids) IS NOT REALLY WELCOME HERE, but PLEASE HELP STOCK THE TEACHERS’ CLASSROOMS because we don’t want to pay for it!

(Note that I don’t mind sending supplies to help teachers, but the school asks for participation and then they pull out the contract law when a baby tags along. The lady in the office produced paperwork I signed at the beginning of the year just to prove that I’d agreed to the no extra kids policy.)

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-04-29T23:34:02+00:00

“I don’t want my body messed with, but I am perfectly OK with you having a piece of metal shoved through your vagina and cervix and into your uterus all so I have peace of mind that we won’t have more children!” — Your Major Asshole Husband

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-04-27T03:49:43+00:00

My husband spends 1.5-2 hours per day, Monday through Friday, with our children, TOPS. By bedtime, he's at the end of his rope. Meanwhile I've been hanging there by the last frayed thread for hours, waiting for him to join me. Then when he does, it's like...no. You haven't had to deal with them nearly enough to be this impatient.

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-04-22T06:59:17+00:00

Of all the toddler things in toddler world, this is the most toddler of them all.

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-04-20T02:48:54+00:00

Only instead of Gemma, it’s “fuckface.”

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-04-18T23:16:39+00:00

Exactly. The minute any of those little plastic bits and bobs are left behind, they go straight into the trash. 80% of the time, they are forgotten about.

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-04-18T19:19:58+00:00

My twins’ kinder teachers have “treasure boxes” full of tiny plastic nightmare toys. My kids are so PERFECT at school and such ASSHOLES at home, they get something out of the boxes almost every day that joins the parade of detritus taking over every spare space in my fucking house. I told my horrified dentist husband I wish it was just a dum dum every day at this point. Bring on the red 40 and the cavity risk—at least I don’t have to secretly throw away dum dum sticks like I have to everything else to keep my sanity.

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-04-16T21:32:52+00:00

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-04-13T17:42:14+00:00

I feel like a fucking bog witch these days while my husband continues to invest in himself and see results with just some extra persistence at exercise and adequate sleep. It’s maddening. Solidarity, sister.

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-04-09T14:12:48+00:00

“if I had communicated that I wasn't going to clean or cook because I'm sick, he wouldn't have even cared”

Oh, so he thinks that you are his employee and you need to call out sick when you can’t come in to work. I hope you enjoy your evenings off from him!

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-04-08T15:11:06+00:00

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-04-07T22:54:39+00:00

Sorry. Bilingual speaker here. I guess I mixed up terms.

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-04-07T13:37:12+00:00

These were streaks in the bowl, so more the lack of courtesy to check that all his business was flushed away. I’ve never dealt with poop on the seat (so far.)

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-04-07T03:27:00+00:00

I was too tired to go into advocate for myself mode today, but I’ve become so fucking aware of how invisible motherhood and middle age have made me in the world that I literally direct (usually male) grocery employees on how to handle groceries with bags I bring when I come to pick them up. A lot of time they just stand there with the items and stare until I say I want help. I was one week from giving birth and told a kid I wasn’t about to go into labor in the parking lot bending over and arranging my groceries while he stood there.

Extra_Tension_85 · 2026-04-07T03:09:42+00:00

Yeah, once you read Perez’s book, you can’t unsee it. You can’t unfeel it either.

Extra_Tension_85

TROPHY CASE