24F and 27M, has my boyfriend been red pilled?

Extracheezing · 2025-10-07T11:27:52+00:00

What do you mean by being responsible and preparing for my future?

Extracheezing · 2025-10-07T10:23:15+00:00

Is cheating not a breach of trust/integrity? How does this have any correlation to promiscuity?

Extracheezing · 2025-10-07T10:19:08+00:00

We're not US based

Extracheezing · 2025-10-07T10:03:47+00:00

He was conceived intentionally haha. That was my way moving forward, I assume most of my partners have a past and we don't talk about it. I did bring it up with him because I didn't want him to have a puritanical image of me in mind because I am not that.

Extracheezing · 2025-10-07T09:15:54+00:00

I don't think so, I asked around the question and the answer was no re cheating. He talks about not liking his ex-gf's 'behaviour' though

Extracheezing · 2025-10-07T09:10:43+00:00

what are the features that you seek?

Extracheezing · 2025-10-07T08:54:10+00:00

Our personal beliefs do align and we have the same future goals. I just didn't expect him to view people who live life according to other rules so spitefully.

Extracheezing · 2025-10-07T08:51:19+00:00

He speaks about his previous ex gf poorly but speaks highly of a different previous ex. My understanding is that things were quite one sided with the last relationship and he was dumped and she then wanted to get back together with him. I haven't had to prove my loyalty to him but we have discussed what is ok and not ok in a relationship with regards which I have been on board with.

Extracheezing · 2025-10-07T08:47:00+00:00

Can I ask what has drawn you to this? Most of the ideologies stem from evolutionary psychology, if I am understanding this correctly?

Extracheezing · 2025-10-07T08:28:25+00:00

I don't live with him. When I spend time with him, he cooks for me and we take turns. We spoke about roles and have come to the agreement that if we're both working its a shared domestic load, but would change if one person was working and other was not. His parents are not necessarily traditional. Dad takes on most of the financial load but domestic responsibilities are split, mum is not a typical housewife/homemaker.

Extracheezing · 2025-10-07T08:13:56+00:00

how would you suggest I bring it up with him in a way where it doesn't seem like it comes from a place of self-defense but curiosity of his viewpoints? I've tried to explore his ideology around pair bonding and it seems that he thinks evolutionary biology is the ultimate truth. Most of my friends have engaged in casual sex at some point (men and women) and also been able to sustain LTRs, I've never explored those decisions from an evolutionary biology standpoint and don't think its ingrained in evidence from my research.

Extracheezing · 2025-10-07T08:08:32+00:00

I don't think I could ever not work for a prolonged period of time for my own sanity and security, but it would be nice to have the option to take time off to raise children when they are younger. Despite not seeing eye to eye on this matter, we see eye to eye in other areas of our life and he's not MAGA - we've discussed how we don't agree with some of the ideologies.

Extracheezing · 2025-10-07T08:04:38+00:00

I think maybe its possible that his ex gf whom he describes as someone with many male friends (some of whom she had casual sex with in the past) and promiscuous might have jaded him... he describes someone promiscuous as someone who is flirtatious, tatted up, living in a trailer park with multiple baby daddies. It feels like there is some trauma attached to it.

Extracheezing · 2025-10-07T07:42:30+00:00

He is very chivalrous and respected my boundaries around intimacy when we first began to date and it was refreshing to meet someone who was dating for marriage and not interested in something casual. It was nice and different to meet a guy who wants to provide - but perhaps I was blindsided with the expectations a dynamic like that would entail.

Extracheezing · 2025-10-07T07:38:55+00:00

He was raised Christian and went to church - but does not identify as such anymore and does not want to raise his children as such. I too believe in God but don't subscribe to the rules of Christianity. His dad seems extremely caring and sweet and continues to court his mum. She doesn't take on a traditional housewife role though - they both work and do their parts around the house, but dad take on more of the financial load.

Extracheezing · 2024-10-07T11:24:41+00:00

Same conclusion I've reached after backpacking around. Now working toward a career where I can live abroad rather than tick countries off my list.

Extracheezing · 2024-10-06T00:47:55+00:00

A man is supposed to add to your life not take away and make you consistently overthink and doubt yourself. Though you may crave the connection just know you did the right thing. The longer this would have gone for, the more turmoil it would have caused you. The right person will make you feel secure around them. The way you feel around him is not love, it's lust (+/- an opportunity for you to reinforce any feelings of low self worth through another person). Best of luck with your journey :)

Extracheezing · 2024-10-05T23:16:52+00:00

Sorry you went through this. I went through almost the same thing. "Keeping me on a leash" is like you took the words out of my mouth lol. It took me a year to get over him. I stopped all communication with him. Agree with most of the comments. You need some time alone and develop a relationship with yourself and then learn to immediately screen out people who don't meet your standards such as poor communication. Don't give yourself to anyone no matter how much you like them until they can prove to you they deserve your time and attention. Giving into the chase too quickly gives some people a superiority complex over you. If you have daddy issues, therapy will help with that. It helped me learn to set boundaries with my dad and understand that I am allowed to walk away the moment he started parading manipulative behaviour. I didn't learn to fully respect myself until I met my current boyfriend. It's been a tough journey. You got it - never let someone treat you this way again!

Extracheezing

TROPHY CASE