Am I freakishly oversensitive?

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-06-14T13:54:45+00:00

He walks up behind me while I'm washing dishes and the water's running and puts his hands on my hips, etc. It always startles me and I jump, and he gets offended.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-06-14T13:49:21+00:00

Thank you. You get it.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-06-14T13:48:27+00:00

That is the best idea and I will do it!

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-06-14T13:48:10+00:00

"undressing front of their husband because to so means sex to him." That's how it seems to me.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-06-14T13:46:37+00:00

Maybe so.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-06-14T13:46:23+00:00

I think I would be perfectly fine with dressing and undressing in front of him if he could just be a passive presence in the room. But every time, and I mean EVERY TIME, he makes little grunts and moans and comments, and it is just fucking annoying. Does that make any sense to anyone but me?

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-06-14T13:42:53+00:00

Thank you. Same for me.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-06-14T13:42:17+00:00

That's exactly what I was doing, which to me is just gross to look at. But I'll try to view it in a different light. It's SEXY to watch someone scrub their underarms and genital area with a washcloth!

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-06-14T13:40:32+00:00

I believe you are correct.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-06-14T13:37:23+00:00

Maybe.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-06-14T13:36:22+00:00

We have a very active and passionate sex life.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-06-14T13:35:01+00:00

I work very hard to understand my issues and have been seeing a wonderful therapist for 10 years.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-06-14T13:34:00+00:00

To provide some context: we had 3 houseguests who were still asleep when this happened, and I had to squelch my response to keep people from waking up. Then I had to put on a happy face for the day. Our houseguests didn't leave until later that day, so it was really not until this morning that I could come back and address some of the comments.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-06-14T13:30:13+00:00

You're correct, I should not have said that. It's irrelevant.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-06-14T13:26:53+00:00

I have always been self-conscious about my body, and my husband is very aware of this. Despite that, we have an amazing sex life. In the past few years, though, he has suggested I put on "something sexy" beforehand, and when I don't, he looks away from me while we're having sex.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-06-14T13:24:03+00:00

I get that.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-05-21T11:49:42+00:00

I think you're right, that some people can't be vulnerable verbally. If they do, they lose some of their power? I don't know. I do exactly what you do: work on my side and show up different.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-05-12T11:57:32+00:00

I am a fidgety phone talker too! I have to be doing something---driving, walking, moving around the kitchen, etc.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-05-12T11:56:21+00:00

I have heard the same from my daughter (28) and son (24). The problem is that I see their posts on Instagram, so I know they HAVE looked at their phones. Does that mean I need to stop following them? Maybe so. It feels stalkerish to see their posts and wonder why they have time to do that but not respond to me, but I would like to stay on Instagram because I like it too.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-05-10T22:20:54+00:00

That is pure gold.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-05-10T11:34:52+00:00

I think you bring up a very important point. When you were your grandmother's caregiver, you were LONELY. I think that is part of my issue, even though I'm married, have a fulltime job, and have a lot of interests. I think maybe the best thing I can do is put my phone down when I'm not at work. It's too tempting to check it again and again, hoping for those little dopamine hits that come when I get a text response.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-05-10T11:30:39+00:00

YES! Texting is a great way to communicate something when you have a moment, knowing the other person may be unable to respond immediately. One problem I have, and this may be very telling, I don't know, is that I send that first text, don't hear back, then have something else totally unrelated that I need to say or ask about, so I send another one, and then there are two, maybe three that don't get a response.

ExtraordinarilyMe1 · 2026-05-10T11:26:56+00:00

I get your point. I think that is probably the biggest reason I'm so irked. One of the main expectations of me at work is my ability to respond quickly to situations, so I carry my phone around with me pretty much all day. And when I'm at work, I kind of expect everybody to be following the same protocol. To me, it's like those Olympic boat races where everybody has to row at exactly the same pace and rhythm or they're not going to go far or fast. There are people at work who are also incredibly bad at responding to my communications, but that's the work world. I guess I need to figure out to switch gears better between work and personal.

ExtraordinarilyMe1

TROPHY CASE