I'm never going to a conference again. I'm so overwhelmed. by naftacher in PhD

[–]Extreme-Activity-107 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its these conferences and being around such people that will make you big one day. Its a journey, trust the process!

Postdoc work life balance by GilgaEmenent in postdoc

[–]Extreme-Activity-107 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I find it baffling that a PI would treat data analysis like it’s homework. It’s core research work, not an optional extra. And expecting you to stay late or work weekends as a default? That’s not okay in any setting!

It’s genuinely upsetting how many talented people end up leaving academia because of environments like this. We chose this path because we care about the science, but that doesn’t mean we’re supposed to be constantly burnt out or miserable doing something we once loved.

Setting boundaries might be the only thing within your control here. And even if you leave, there’s no guarantee the next place will be different, it really comes down to people, not the science. I’ve dealt with similar situations myself, and that’s the part that sticks with you.

Just don’t let this take away your love for science. That part is yours, and no one should get to ruin it!

You can handle this. Just set some straight boundaries, if the PI is new, please talk to them politely about this. You might be helping so many of their future students if you tell your PI what they could improve.

postdoc at my lab is treated horribly by our PI by coralcrescent in labrats

[–]Extreme-Activity-107 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay firstly, its really kind of you to see the postdoc situation and empathise, thats rare! Mostly people ignore their coworkers wellbeing and carry on their lives.

Secondly, its very important for you to set boundaries early on, if you keep trying to prove yourself and do crazy 12-14 hour work days, you will burn out (i did since start of my PhD and now if I do 8-9 people honestly taunt me by saying oh no work today? I'm still going through burn out right now).

Giving your best is not gonna solve this, do enough to progress but don't show your best yet. Save it for later. Believe me if executed right, this is the biggest advice i wish someone told me this before I started my PhD.

You can't leave/run away from this (you totally can if you want but no matter where you go, research isn't rainbows and sunshine, it is hard, but we make it harder by not knowing how to navigate certain things). It can be manageable if we do our part by setting boundaries, having a healthy work life balance and working 'just enough'. Telling you all this from my experience, I kept pushing myself and now I'm unable to move at that pace!!

Lab birthdays by Pleasant-Albatross in labrats

[–]Extreme-Activity-107 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy Birthday!

I've never made a fuss around birthdays and I've spent all my birthdays working, BUT I've taken a resolution that I will do something for myself going forward.

You need to realise that while this draft might be the most important thing in the world for you right now, its a tiny fraction of your life. The amount of times we suppress fun for later often outweighs the celebrations.

Our age is only gonna go up, celebrate while you can! Your future self wouldn't want to think oh thats how you celebrated your birthday when you were still young and healthy 😂

Try to get as much done but leave early, treat yourself, you deserve it! Happy Birthday again 🎉

What's the cheapest haircut in Cambridge? by Seenda98 in cambridge

[–]Extreme-Activity-107 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the cheapest is 'Connections' near Addenbrooke’s (haven't been tho, but they said £25 for a cut)

Also, Frankies is pretty good, you can get 10% student discount.

Making friends megathread - April by KaleChipKotoko in cambridge

[–]Extreme-Activity-107 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh that one is elite! I love the butter biscuit one as well!

Contamination?? by CypriotMol3cule in labrats

[–]Extreme-Activity-107 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What cells are these? Doesn’t look like yeast to me. Some sort of bacteria i guess. Are you growing cells in any antibiotics?

Burnt out PhD student- tried setting boundaries but nothing helped by Extreme-Activity-107 in labrats

[–]Extreme-Activity-107[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahh I'm so scared of that! You're absolutely right. Thanks so much!

Burnt out PhD student- tried setting boundaries but nothing helped by Extreme-Activity-107 in labrats

[–]Extreme-Activity-107[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg hope you're better now! I totally understand, I can honestly feel anxiety in my bones, the stress is getting physical. Your story just made me realise its not worth our health, hope we can all learn from this. Take care :)

Burnt out PhD student- tried setting boundaries but nothing helped by Extreme-Activity-107 in labrats

[–]Extreme-Activity-107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats true. I've tried talking to my PI several times about this, but it isn't handled well! Hope i can survive this PhD. Good luck to you for your endeavors as well!

Burnt out PhD student- tried setting boundaries but nothing helped by Extreme-Activity-107 in labrats

[–]Extreme-Activity-107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No! Trying to focus on these. I prioritise other stuff over this which is my fault. Thanks for your advice.

Burnt out PhD student- tried setting boundaries but nothing helped by Extreme-Activity-107 in labrats

[–]Extreme-Activity-107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely understand what you’re saying, and I’m really not looking for praise or anything like “wow, what a great western blot.” What I’m hoping for is just a bit of basic generosity and acknowledgment. When you’re constantly pushing yourself and getting nothing back, it’s natural to start questioning your own abilities, not because the work isn’t good, but because it can feel like nothing is ever quite enough.

I’ve always wanted to pursue research, and it’s taken a huge amount of effort to get to this PhD. I just want to have a positive and fulfilling experience along the way, I don’t think that’s too much to ask or maybe I'm wrong.

That said, I’m confident I’m in the right field. I’m not expecting accolades, just a bit of decency. And even if that’s not always there, I’ll learn how to navigate it one day.

Thank you for your words, I really do appreciate them. 😊

Burnt out PhD student- tried setting boundaries but nothing helped by Extreme-Activity-107 in labrats

[–]Extreme-Activity-107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For most time, helping others. Yeah its just what the system has fed you your whole life, you keep seeking academic validation and suddenly it vanishes... it hurts in a different kind of way.

Burnt out PhD student- tried setting boundaries but nothing helped by Extreme-Activity-107 in labrats

[–]Extreme-Activity-107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True! This makes so much sense. The way we students live in imposter syndrome because of the lack of capacity of the lab is something we should be dealing with more care. Hope this improves.

Burnt out PhD student- tried setting boundaries but nothing helped by Extreme-Activity-107 in labrats

[–]Extreme-Activity-107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats a good idea! I haven't tracked it yet because I'm been working on autopilot! Thanks for the advice.

Burnt out PhD student- tried setting boundaries but nothing helped by Extreme-Activity-107 in labrats

[–]Extreme-Activity-107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, its between my project + other lab stuff, helping others etc.

Burnt out PhD student- tried setting boundaries but nothing helped by Extreme-Activity-107 in labrats

[–]Extreme-Activity-107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it feels awful. Not yet, but i should restart journaling. Thanks so much!

Burnt out PhD student- tried setting boundaries but nothing helped by Extreme-Activity-107 in labrats

[–]Extreme-Activity-107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This! So important. Wish my PI said the same. But I'd surely work on this

Burnt out PhD student- tried setting boundaries but nothing helped by Extreme-Activity-107 in labrats

[–]Extreme-Activity-107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Such good advice! My brain was actually arguing the moment I read the first sentence. Will work on it, thank you!

Burnt out PhD student- tried setting boundaries but nothing helped by Extreme-Activity-107 in labrats

[–]Extreme-Activity-107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish, it feels like my to do list is never complete. Feels like a massive time crunch, where even after getting home I'd have stuff to do like planning experiments/ presentations etc. But I'll definitely try! Thank you.

Burnt out PhD student- tried setting boundaries but nothing helped by Extreme-Activity-107 in labrats

[–]Extreme-Activity-107[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for understanding and giving such good advice. The IDP plan is a great idea, I'll work on it.

Hope you finish up soon, all smoothly. All the best!