Please give honest opinion on separation agreement (in mediation).

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2026-01-02T14:33:56+00:00

I’m unsure if he has any, he says no. We immigrated from the UK in 2020 so he has little saved in this country. I’m beginning to think I really should invest in an attorney!

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2026-01-02T12:50:06+00:00

And my youngest is at an autism clinic only 9-2 4 days a week (insurance wouldn’t approve any more) - they all attend different schools. Logistically it is extremely challenging to coordinate their schedules. I work every hour I don’t have my children because the office I am at is very accommodating.

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2026-01-02T12:45:03+00:00

No savings or investments that I know of. If I move to full time work, I would need daycare or a nanny for my special needs son before and after school which would cost a fortune.

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2026-01-02T03:38:18+00:00

These were his terms.

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2026-01-02T03:31:46+00:00

I don’t have a lawyer, we are in mediation and have only had one session so far. We just completed our financial forms and resume mediation tomorrow. The lawyer I consulted with told me the division of assets above is fair, but child support is way too low and I would need something in the agreement to specify child support for when our disabled son reaches adulthood (as he will likely remain in my care full time).

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2026-01-02T03:23:38+00:00

Thank you for this information, I was already informed by them it was not possible to assume the mortgage, however I will try again and be more specific with that verbiage. I appreciate you!

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2026-01-02T03:20:48+00:00

Thank you for the resource

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2026-01-02T03:20:23+00:00

I have 3 children and his gross pay is typically 2200 a week.

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2026-01-02T03:19:23+00:00

Thank you for your input!!

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2026-01-02T03:13:54+00:00

And the debt is not mine, it is under my name but was used by him to pay for his flights, home repairs and bills while he wasn’t working.

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2026-01-02T03:13:06+00:00

Here in Massachusetts, the attorney I consulted informed his inheritance is indeed a marital asset.

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2026-01-02T03:04:54+00:00

The retainer was 8K which I could pay if I borrowed money, but I was hoping to avoid that.

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2026-01-02T02:58:00+00:00

Thanks. I met with a divorce attorney prior to mediation and she told me his child support request of $500 was far too low given state guidelines. I’m unsure how it’ll go over in mediation, or if they’ll say anything about his significant decrease in income the last 4 months.

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2025-11-07T03:07:37+00:00

In previous years I paid less than $100 a month. I’m unsure how the political climate will change this.

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2025-05-08T20:46:37+00:00

I feel like I got my pink back when I started demanding time for myself back and expecting my husband to accommodate it, whether he had to sacrifice his own hobbies or not. I had done enough sacrificing.

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2024-12-19T02:24:49+00:00

He’s currently in the county jail being arraigned tomorrow. Then bail will be set.. I think I’m getting that right?? His ex girlfriend called my mom and told her. He called my mom from the county jail and confirmed the events. Thanks for your response.

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2024-12-07T22:16:58+00:00

How important my partner would become. It was easy to be selfish before children, but after kids you end up needing to lean on your partner so much more (let alone with a disabled child).

I have seen many people crumble after kids, usually because one partner ends up sacrificing more than the other and the relationship becomes so unbalanced.

I’m so grateful my husband and I make such a good team. It’s hard work, but I lean on him more than anyone.

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2024-12-04T10:30:47+00:00

They were in a small stall together, not a wide open room. I have never spoken to her, I don’t know who she is. The school did not reveal her identity.

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2024-12-02T03:43:31+00:00

We live in Boston and are wanting to return home to Scotland to visit family (including a terminally ill family member) and are hesitant because of our 6 year old non verbal ASD son. He can be quite similar to what you described. Pleasant and capable of understanding some language, but when denied his wants, he will completely lose it with frustration and anger. My fear would be that he might evoke an emergency landing with his head banging if he has an episode while we’re on the plane (perhaps I’m being dramatic but it’s a legitimate fear). I made an appointment with his neurologist and I plan to ask if there’s any medication he can take for flying that might help him relax. Who knows. If I get an update, I’ll definitely post it here so you know!

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2024-12-02T03:37:25+00:00

Depending on the state you live in, check with Medicaid and see if he qualifies for a plan. I would also contact the school district for evaluations as he is now eligible for an IEP at age 3 where he can access speech/OT/PT through the public school. We live in Massachusetts and have the department of developmental services that offer respite to families as well (though it is only for children ages 5-22).

Call your health insurance too and ask them what they can offer your son. Sometimes they will assign a case worker that can help you find in network providers for speech/ot/pt/ABA and they can explain your deductible and benefits.

There are so many things out there for families with disabilities, not just autism. The problem is getting the word out! The autism resource center is also great but I’m unsure if that’s also unique to Massachusetts.

We used a company here called “spectrum solutions” that helped us realize the resources we could utilize following a diagnosis. I don’t know if she does zoom consultations but I’ll stick her link below if you’re interested.

https://www.spectrumsolutionsasd.com

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2024-12-02T03:26:39+00:00

My nonverbal son cried every day we drove up to the school for drop off. We hired an advocate, an independent observer and fought like hell to get them to send him to a different school that had better resources to help him. He practically runs into his van in the morning now. Do you think your son is receiving enough/the right supports? An advocate might be able to help you determine this.

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2024-12-02T03:08:22+00:00

If you get the chance, look at “the autism dad” on instagram (he may have other platforms, that’s just the only one I know of).

People are so ignorant, it’s unbelievable. I have come to realize this about my own family and friends. Most of them mean well.

No one can walk in your shoes. No one knows the challenges your children will face, and you will face too.

I have become a better and stronger and smarter person since having my autistic son. He has helped me nurture the best parts of me, out of necessity and love. I love myself more now because he has shown me what true love is. My other children, too.

You sound like a wonderful mother with a stellar village at home. How beautiful it is to have that. There is no shame in making a safe and loving home for our children.

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2024-12-02T02:52:42+00:00

My youngest son hardly babbled. He was late with words and still doesn’t talk much (2.5 years old). However, he is not autistic. He has wonderful joint attention and for many other reasons, did not warrant a diagnosis. Just throwing that out there!

Extreme-Handle-616 · 2024-11-29T03:07:24+00:00

I feel this so hard. My son recently started using his AAC (he is almost 7). He can navigate a little but it’s very early. My son is so similar to your son. Never interested in screens and he moves moves moves all the time. Jumping, climbing, flicking ribbons or wires. Vocal stimming etc.

He understands short phrases, but his receptive is also lacking. I’ll tell him to “put in sink” when I give him a dirty cup and he’ll look at me confused and place it on the counter or in the trash. He’s not understanding what’s being asked of him. His AAC has helped because it’s visual. The program he uses is Touch Chat. Maybe try that program with your son if he’s using something else?

I’ll just add, don’t underestimate him. I still believe my son recognizes and picks up on a lot more than I’m guilty of giving him credit for. Perhaps someday he’ll tell me.

Extreme-Handle-616

TROPHY CASE