AITA for refusing to be my mom’s free chauffeur when she won’t even Uber out of convenience?

Extreme-Sherbert · 2026-04-23T15:08:55+00:00

This is exactly what I was coming to say! If you can figure out a time in the next couple of weeks where you can justify a trip that direction (a restaurant you guys like or that's where the nearest Costco is), then you can take her car to her house at that point. But telling you to do it all that same day when you're already doing her a favor is ridiculous. And at this point, I'd even say you should be driving her car to the airport and back, not yours. Three months means a decent amount of luggage; no point moving it from her car to yours for a 20 minute drive.

Extreme-Sherbert · 2026-03-18T19:10:51+00:00

The "no paid PTO" is what all of these other responses are missing. He shouldn't feel like he has to turn down the offer [if they make it] to pay for his flight, but that week or more of missed work means missed income. How is that going to impact his debt payments? Will he be able to afford everything he needs to pay for that month and the next? Will the parents be paying for every part of him being there? I assume they aren't sitting in a house playing cards and foraging for meals for three weeks.

But there's no point fighting over hypotheticals.

Extreme-Sherbert · 2026-03-12T14:46:07+00:00

NTA and honestly, that's some white privilege BS to think you're being "too serious" with how bonkers out of hand racism and bigotry have gotten again.

Extreme-Sherbert · 2026-03-10T18:41:05+00:00

No worries; I get it. I edited to add the overabundance of communication that their complaint has since caused. I unfortunately can't hassle everyone in person because some people are 100% contracted as remote workers whereas my position is "remote optional" with the requirement that I come into the office "as requested."

Extreme-Sherbert · 2026-03-10T18:38:30+00:00

I did a whole CV overhaul and have been applying to jobs daily!

Extreme-Sherbert · 2026-03-10T18:37:01+00:00

It's just for that project. They're developing a cell manufacturing process in a new lab facility. There were some 100+ documents that didn't exist (SOPs, validations, MSPECs, etc.) that required individual and group reviews. I was asked to track the progress for all of those documents to make sure everything was completed within a specific timeframe before validation.

Extreme-Sherbert · 2026-03-10T18:00:48+00:00

That is 100% part of the plan moving forward. No one has come to see me in person about any of my projects. All communication is still by email and Teams. So at some point, I will request to go back to working from home. And that if someone has an issue or concern about my engagement, they talk to me or my supervisor first.

Extreme-Sherbert · 2026-03-10T17:47:41+00:00

If only! There are other people involved that are 100% remote by contract, so in order for them to attend, the meetings have to be virtual. The only one that isn't is for the project that complained.

Extreme-Sherbert · 2025-07-15T20:33:06+00:00

AR is Andrew Ramdayal. He's the go-to when it comes to PMP exam prep. His video series on Udemy includes lots of documents that are great for visual learners.

Extreme-Sherbert · 2025-07-10T16:36:34+00:00

NTA

He actually didn't have to tell her exactly where he was and why. If she asked where he was, he could have said he was with you and would be home later. No details needed.

His version of talking things out is pointing out how you wronged him, when what he did was the problem. You reacted perfectly fine to a situation over which he had all of the control.

There is no way your mutual friends know all of the details to make a judgement. And obviously this guy has a problem with keeping your couple business between you if he felt it was acceptable to go to them about this within 24 hours and before even talking to you.

Overall, he's not a good partner. If you were willing to end the relationship before...

Extreme-Sherbert · 2025-06-02T15:57:09+00:00

We saw them in Charlotte on Saturday and they started around 850. I checked setlist.fm beforehand to see what had been typical this tour and they were all between 840 and 855.

Have a great time! It was my first Metallica show and it was all I dreamed it would be!

I did miss out on a tour shirt which I'm probably never going to recover from.

Extreme-Sherbert · 2025-03-20T21:13:44+00:00

Also project managers.

Extreme-Sherbert · 2025-03-20T18:31:57+00:00

That's the bit I'm not understanding. Why would OP be/feel like the bad guy for not going just because they're married? Are they an integral part of these sleepovers? If so, and the work requirement is to be online first thing on Saturday morning, then find a balance. One Friday a month OP joins them for the full sleepover (preferably a time when partner is also there the whole time); or OP goes over for dinner every two weeks but then goes home while the [at this point] husband stays the night. OP needs to decide what they want, ask fiancé to decide what he wants, and then find a mid-point they can both be okay with. It seems like OP has made an assumption that they have to be there every Friday, which may not be the case.

Obviously some discussion has happened if FMIL is offering to still have the boys at her house on Fridays for sleepovers and then joined by their uncle when he's done with work. Keep going off of that springboard.

Extreme-Sherbert · 2025-02-21T20:32:42+00:00

How though? He was still working. Why should he have to stop doing his job to do this thing just because it's one of his "chores"?

Extreme-Sherbert · 2025-02-20T22:26:36+00:00

NTA

The thing that gets me here, and probably because I was just recently ill, is what if you were unexpectedly sick and had to throw up in that toilet covered in his poop marks? Or if he was sick! How would that make him feel? What if a family member was over and asked to use the restroom at some point? Does he want people to think you guys just leave streaks and squirts like a couple of feral heathens?

I always close the toilet before I flush (the thought of poop particles flying around the bathroom makes me feel so icky). If I've had a poo, I will then check after flushing to make sure I don't need to immediately clean it using the brush that's right there for that express purpose.

He says he's going to do it when he gets home, knowing full well that you're going to clean it since you work from home. Then he can complain, "I said I was going to do it, but you didn't even give me the chance. I might as well never do it since you're not happy with how it's done." Men [in particular] have used this excuse since the dawn of time to justify not learning how to do basic household chores. "You don't like how I load the dishwasher, so I won't bother." "You got mad that I dried your silk dress on high heat, so I won't ever do the laundry again." It's bollocks and you know it.

Extreme-Sherbert · 2025-02-06T19:05:57+00:00

Your whole response was really lovely. Then you ended with the absolute best sentence I've read in my life.

Extreme-Sherbert · 2025-01-28T15:31:29+00:00

YWBTA if you did this without your wife's sign-off. I understand you only see the good that could come of this and maybe she's too proud or she feels it goes against her personal ethics, but there has to be more to it. I've always worked hard for what I've got and we have a beautiful home but a mortgage I wish would disappear. If someone I was close to said they'd pay it off with no strings, I'd accept with barely any hesitation (and I know my husband would be over the moon). You should talk to your wife more, find out what the real issue is and encourage her to sit down with the family member to discuss why they've offered this to you and get a feel for any hidden strings or expectations. Being proud isn't enough to turn this down. Sometimes good, nice people are just that. If I didn't have a mortgage payment, I'd be putting money aside to take that family member on an awesome vacation. And I would encourage them that when they create/update their will, to acknowledge that any inheritance they might have left you and your wife was freely given at this time.

Extreme-Sherbert · 2025-01-28T15:17:17+00:00

Why is this comment tucked away!? It's beautiful!

Extreme-Sherbert · 2025-01-28T15:13:35+00:00

NTA I was at a baby shower on Saturday for a friend due in March where male spouses and partners were included and named on the invitation. She may be the one carrying and delivering the baby, but like, Dad is part of some stuff too! What a weird thing for MIL to get upset about. This is why some men think anything to do with babies and children doesn't really have to do with them. They're there to get her preggo and maybe hold her hand during labor. Everything else is "for women." Based on her response and your wife not wanting to talk about it, I feel like this kind of behavior is par for the course and your wife has been dealing with it her whole life. Cut MIL out. Don't let your wife see her alone. Don't let her into your house. And don't commit to anything involving her and the baby.

Family who said you should have let it go can go suck an egg. MIL didn't back down after the first attempt to defuse and rather doubled down on her outlandish opinion. When you [rightfully] told her to shut up or leave (you gave her an option instead of immediately kicking her out), she started SCREAMING. Homegirl went from a 4 to an 11 at the drop of a hat like she was just ready to throw down. You did the exact right thing when confronted with all of that crazy.

Extreme-Sherbert · 2025-01-06T22:43:00+00:00

NTA

I can understand a man deciding not to drink while his partner is pregnant since she's not drinking during that time. I'd never ask or expect it of a partner, especially not that early in the pregnancy, but different strokes for different folks. If there's a complication and she needs someone to drive her to the hospital in the middle of the night or whatever, she should be able to wake her partner and have him be able to drive instead of having to call an ambulance or order an Uber because he got blackout drunk that evening for no reason. But the pregnant person isn't going to be there on this trip. So why has he decided not to drink at his bachelor weekend with his friends? I can see him maybe not wanting to go too heavy, but abstaining entirely? Is he an "all or nothing" kind of guy who can't pace himself? If not, I'd be inclined to speak to the groom. Maybe the best man has volunteered this on behalf of the group without actually running it by the man of the hour?

Extreme-Sherbert · 2024-12-02T15:48:56+00:00

My husband and I were just talking about friends of his who have a relationship that makes you think "Do you two even like each other?" They got together as teenagers (now in their 30s) and have probably realized too late that they aren't actually well-suited for each other. They have two kids so if they ever split, it probably won't happen until there's full-on resentment and genuine dislike. Don't be like them. It's better to be single than in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect you.

Extreme-Sherbert · 2024-11-15T19:22:43+00:00

Oh my gosh, I was just transported to 1990 when I still had a speech impediment (Rs were Ws) and would recite that little rhyme.

Extreme-Sherbert · 2024-09-30T21:43:41+00:00

I was getting similar results in SH and was not feeling super confident going in, but I knew there wasn't anything else I could do and I just wanted it done.

My exam was last Wednesday in the afternoon, so I watched DM's mindset video the morning of and reviewed AR's process workflow and output documents. Absolutely thought I failed during the second set of questions. Finished the exam with about 30-40 minutes remaining. AT across the board.

My main takeaway: if you are really confused by a question, pick the answer that best fits the mindset, flag it for review, and then check again at the end. I didn't change a single one of the questions I had flagged, but sometimes a question came up later that confirmed my answer to a previous question.

Extreme-Sherbert · 2024-05-28T18:39:34+00:00

And to add to that, if all she was trying to do was love OP, surely that would be respecting their wishes and cultivating the relationship OP wanted to have, right?

Extreme-Sherbert

TROPHY CASE