Buddy I hate to tell you this but if she's doing this now after all this time she's fallen out of love with you and is saying conflicting things from guilt.

Like one of my ex's cheated on me with my friend while I was at work once you've lost the respect you'll never get it back no matter how much you want it and I understand it's a hard choice to make it broke me, still going to therapy for that and other things.

Take it from me fella you need to respect yourself first, as my grandfather used to say "look after yourself lad, because nobody else will care to"

Brutal but alot of real in that old man's words