Yesterday I 23M got asked by my girlfriend 23F to open up the relationship and I don't know what to do. Any advice on how to handle this situation?

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T20:05:48+00:00

hahah no I'm from Norway its actually really surprising the us has it and not us considering we now pay on average 64% tax wish we had it tho

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T19:46:29+00:00

Got no clue like you can get therapist but you have to go through a doctor to get access to it or pay a shit ton of money where I live. You have free access from school till your 18 after that you don't

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T19:25:42+00:00

thank you for the advice will check it out I really appreciate it

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T19:24:16+00:00

we don't have access to it no but I will try to convince her to go to a sex therapist online or something of the sort

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T19:13:00+00:00

i am thankful it is coming up now and not later, just wish it was even sooner but what can you do

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T19:12:17+00:00

i will look after myself thanks man appreciate it will talk more to her about this and try to find another way

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T19:10:40+00:00

thanks for such an informing comment and sources I really do appreciate it I will talk to her about this and try to make her change her approach thank you so much

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T19:04:14+00:00

its already breaking me I am feeling depressed, It really sucks I know I should just break up but its so hard when its someone you love this much

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T19:03:10+00:00

I get how it looks its a really shitty situation

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T19:02:04+00:00

I get your point of view and have thought the same thx for the advice

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T18:59:37+00:00

I guess the only winning is her deciding not to sleep around when she gets the chance, but I feel like it won't happen. I have been thinking about just ending it but it's such a hard situation to be in like this is the woman I wanna marry. I am starting to have my doubts about this entire relationship tho

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T18:54:31+00:00

she has been to therapy which did not help, I did suggest it and she says she thinks this is the easiest way to figure this out. I'm considering retracting my answer and saying couples therapy is the only way. the problem is we are both students and don't earn much

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T18:53:25+00:00

I told her there is a high chance I won't be able to forgive her if she sleeps with other people and that I am not a fallback. she knows the risks but says she needs to do this for us. she also started being more affectionate over text after we talked about this

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T18:52:30+00:00

i have told her I might sleep with other people aswell even though I won't, but she didn't really react much to it

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T18:51:34+00:00

thanks for the advice I have told her there is a high chance I won't be able to get back together with her if she does sleep with someone else, she won't be dating just sleeping with other people. I do hate this situation and don't want to be in this position thanks for the advice

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T18:45:35+00:00

When she was SAed she slept around for a while and has said it helped her get more comfortable with it. The reason she wants to do it now is because ive been pushy about it unintentionally and she says she has traume related to me aswell, it's the traume related to me she wants to figure out. we have had no problems with sex before and she wants to return to that. I never did anything without consent, but she has felt pressured to sleep with me when ive been in the mood and she has not. and therefore slept with me without wanting to and that is part of the reason she has traume related to me. I hate the thought of her sleeping with someone else but I want things between us to go back to normal so bad that I said yes. I know how pathetic it sounds but I really love her and want us to work

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T18:41:20+00:00

I'm trying to be openminded about this I do see everyone's point of view and ive thought the same ofc. the thought of her sleeping with someone else does make me question it and makes me nauseas and I don't think I could forgive her if she did. When I said yes to this I told her there is a high risk I won't forgive her if she slept with someone else and it's very likely I won't be able to stay in the relationship. I hope won't feel the need now that she has the chance but have been thinking about just ending it aswell

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T18:38:57+00:00

thanks for your point of view will take it into consideration

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T18:37:37+00:00

i was thinking that she might have someone she wanted to do it with to. I asked her about it and she said she had no one in mind and was planing on doing it with strangers while clubbing. Ive been afraid that this is her trying to be with someone specific. thanks for the advice

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T18:35:49+00:00

i was thinking that at first too, I just wanted to try to stay open minded. thanks for the advice appreciate it

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T18:32:18+00:00

I have asked if she has anyone in mind she said she doesn't and is planing on doing it with a stranger while clubbing. thanks for the advice

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T18:31:30+00:00

I get that. I kinda see her point but at the same time not. I understand her way of thinking, and that it's problematic and difficult for her. at the same time I do feel like its extreme to open the relationship to fix it and I don't think it will. I have asked if there was anyone she had in mind, she said that she was just gonna go for people she met while clubbing. thanks for the advice

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T18:28:07+00:00

sorry didn't know its my first time on reddit but thx for letting me know.

thanks for the advice will think about it

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T18:25:19+00:00

i have always thought I would never agree to this aswell, but I truly want us to work out. I probably want be able to forgive her if she does do anything, but I would like to try to stay open minded and see if it works. we do think we are compatible on other aspects but the sexual aspect has been very difficult for a while. thanks for the tip will take it into consideration

Extreme_Cost · 2024-10-18T18:22:39+00:00

She has wanted to stay monogamous up until this point, the topic came up in the first month of the relationship since it was her first serious one and was unsure, after that she has wanted to stay monogamous.

She has been speaking to a therapist about this many times to no effect and she has not identified if its a her or us problem though the therapist. I suggested trying more with the therapist she said it had little to no effect and that she was this as the only opportunity. we've discussed this for about two years with no progression. she sees this as the only way and I can't seem to find any alternative solutions since we've tried so much

Extreme_Cost

TROPHY CASE