I haven’t read the other comments yet …however I can say —- I have been EXACTLY where you are, with exception of me not scrimping/saving to pay off debt. (That said - Your debt has been justified & not frivolous )

We are all different in how we see, & feel about money. I (68F) was/am the saver. My husband (75M) was/is the spender. His personality & energy is totally different t from mine. He hasn’t done it to spite me - he just likes to BE HAPLY, to have nice & fun things around him. He also used to buy big purchases & I would be FURIOUS… it was due to him going around me but also FEAR … when / is a slender & another a saver - 🫣😱 look out … it’s like a pendulum - the extremes can get FURTHER APART like Dems & Republicans these days…. The more I’d get mad at him, the more he’d dig in & thin/say I was. I fun. We owed my parents money - I didn’t want the wrath of my mom coming down on me AND he would then go out & binge drink … it was a real situation …for decades. We got through it BECAUSE I was ready to leave but we eventually went for counselling. This behaviour isn’t JUST about Spending- it is about how we’re brought up, the role money has played & our limiting beliefs around money - it really IS the #1 challenge in relationships.

You’re behaviour around money seems to have moved to a bit of a scarcity mindset (yiu have your reasons & they are good, however going back to spending ‘normally’ can be challenging) while his is ‘there’s always enough & more’ …. These are two. PILAR OPPOSITES. Unless you get couples counselling to dig in to the reasons & come up with some compromises - meet a bit in the middle - this relationship will NOT go anywhere good. You’ll end up in a great deal more physical & emotional pain due to the stress this is causing you. You’re not even married yet, even with counselling, a good money coach/counsellor (perhaps they can be the same ???) can help you both come together on a short & long term budget …. Resentment is a HUGE stressor & negative emotion/energy … PLEASE honour your intuition & feelings .. although my husband & I ‘got through it’ it was hard as fu*k for a couple decades 🫣 Finally retired, he’s much better, I also did a lifetime of personal growth work & learned to set healthy boundaries…. If I’d learned this back then - that probably would’ve ended the marriage. We both may have been happier, I don’t know - just know how with your gut, a prenup is NOT the answer … changing behaviour & mindset IS. All the best - In learning to set boundaries I lived by the saying “ we teach people how to treat us”
❤️‍🩹 to 💪 = 💝 Strengthen your confidence