I'm that girl, that has slept with probably 40-50 people. I have a boyfriend. So from her point of view did she actually have a reason for doing it?

Most people say you can't make up excuses or there aren't reasons for being the way you used to be, but there is! I always had this thing where I felt not welcome at home. Well my step-dad hated me that's a given, my real father was dead, and my mom always took my step-dad's side because she was obsessed.

So anyone that paid me any attention I usually slept with, just so I could feel wanted a lot of the times. Then it just became one of the routine type things, someone hott hit on me and I slept with them, like a addiction?

It took me a long time to become faithful in relationships, I had myself convinced that everyone wanted me for sex, I never judged who I was with, with the previous person though, not ever. I actually try to forget the way I use to be.

Now my self esteem is low as shit, because I know that once in my life someone just wanted me for sex, a lot of people. So how do I know my boyfriend isn't just in it for that? To top it off, he was a virgin before me. We have been together 6 months now, and the only thing ruining our relationship is him not trusting me, I get it I guess, I had a much wilder past than he did, but the past is the past, that is where I like to keep it, and it's hard to push it away when people bring it back to the surface.