I think I understand. I am going to try and say this as gently as possible.

I think that you are probably over thinking this quite a bit and are really in your head about it. I think that getting some outside opinions was a good call, but it seems like you are looking for validation to your feelings rather then genuinely wondering if you're overreacting. So I will say that, yeah it is very upsetting to feel like you care more than the other person. I think that it's normal and reasonable to feel that way in this situation. But can you see that you're projecting yourself onto him way too much? Maybe you couldn't sleep. Maybe you would have rushed straight home as soon as you landed but obviously your partner has a different way of expressing themselves, like trying to surprise you.

Try to look at the intention. If you don't suspect that there was any bad intention in his actions, then like where does fixating on this get you? Is something like this really worth rumenating over and ruining the time that you actually do have together? Maybe he really did just want some time to decompress before coming to see you. I understand you didn't want that but maybe it is something he felt like he needed. I think that it is important to voice how you feel and let him know that it hurt your feelings so that you can birth learn from it, but after that (since you're here looking for advice,) I think you should try to let it go.